Monthly Archives: October 2010

Make Yourself Available

In most cases, couples lack true love not only because they don’t do what is necessary to connect, but also because they do things they shouldn’t which impede them from connecting. For example, if you’re having an affair, besides the … Continue reading

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Save Yourself

I once heard a violinist perform on a New York City subway. It was obvious he had many years of experience and training. His fingers changed positions lightning fast and the bow raced up and down the strings at every … Continue reading

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What do you think?

Pick one area of your life in which you make decisions regularly without consulting your spouse. Involve your spouse in those decisions and let your spouse influence the outcome. The purpose of this exercise is to help you form a … Continue reading

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Make Decisions Together

Business owners often ask their employees for their opinions regarding certain decisions. Why? The boss probably has the most experience and information with which to base the decision. The boss probably doesn’t need advice. Why do business owners take the … Continue reading

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Marriage Problem

Make a list of your marriage problems and flaws. Circle the one your spouse accepts the least. Place a check-mark next to the one your spouse criticizes or attacks you for the most. You may circle and check-mark the same … Continue reading

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Solutions to Marriage Problems

Your spouse’s character flaws, problems, and misfortunes are part of your fate too. When your spouse’s neatness turns out to be a compulsive neurotic disorder, that’s a marriage problem. When your spouse is diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, your love … Continue reading

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Stop it

Consider a husband who is obsessed with a computer game. Every night he comes home from work and invests his final waking hours and emotional energy into beating his top score. Can you imagine how annoyed his wife is losing … Continue reading

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Pick a Hobby

Getting involved in new areas of your spouse’s life is not easy. You’re probably already involved in the areas of your spouse’s life that interest you. And the areas that don’t interest you—that’s probably why you’re not involved. I hope … Continue reading

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True love is self expanding.

To move from me to we requires a consistent consciousness—it’s a lifestyle. There is no specific discipline that guarantees success. However, the correct consciousness without a discipline is also likely to fail. Therefore, I want to offer exercises to help … Continue reading

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Get Involved with Your Spouse

Your fate includes your spouse’s ever-changing interests. When you met, you shared some of your spouse’s interests. And the interests you didn’t share, at least you knew what they were. But people’s interests change over time. However, change is not, … Continue reading

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Marriage Counseling Questions

Important question about marriage counseling: Why do 75% of people report that they are worse off or divorced after marriage counseling. In 2005 the New York Times reported that marriage counseling does not work. The article raised a lot of … Continue reading

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Rachel and Leah

There was one part of our wedding that was extraordinary. It’s called the bedekin. The bedekin is an ancient ceremony performed at some Jewish weddings moments before the marriage ceremony. The bedekin symbolizes one of the keys to creating a … Continue reading

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Giving – Summary

Love Conquers All My wife and I have four children, all of whom were born prematurely. As is often the case with preemies, our babies had to spend a few weeks in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) at the … Continue reading

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Giving Yourself

Imagine that Glenn and Patty have been dating for a while. Glenn feels strongly about Patty, but Patty continues to go out with Glenn not because of her feelings for him but because she enjoys the expensive restaurants he’s able … Continue reading

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Give

After you have an inventory of giving opportunities, start exercising gives. Just as you need to eat regularly to give your body nourishment, you need to give to your spouse regularly to give your marriage its fuel. You should give … Continue reading

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Intimacy Interview

Did you ever hear the question, “Does a tree that falls make noise if no one is around to hear it?” So many things in life require pairs in order for them to be actualized. For example, a teacher needs … Continue reading

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Marriage Counseling

My wife once asked me to scratch an itch on her back. I started in the middle of her back and then she guided me. “A little to the right,” she said. “Higher, higher,” she said. “Now a little to … Continue reading

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Giving Your Needs Met

Giving Great Sex In the most primitive way, Mother Nature teaches that giving between a man and a woman creates an intense connection between them. There is no feeling comparable to the safety, completeness, and ecstasy at the climax of … Continue reading

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Love and Giving

How does the dynamic between love and giving work? Why does giving create love? To understand, let’s explore why my friend loved his car. Why did giving to his car result in him connecting to it so deeply? The fact … Continue reading

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Giving Presence

Love and giving go hand-in-hand. My wife and I gave each other many gifts during our courtship. I gave her flowers and Robin Williams’s videos (her favorite actor). She gave me sport shirts and home cooked meals. We fell in … Continue reading

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The Time for Love

The Time for Love How much time does it take to implement these Marriage Fitness exercises? Let’s calculate based on the above program. It takes about 302 hours each year to implement the above program. There are 8760 hours in … Continue reading

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Birthday Party for your Spouse

You may think that having a birthday party for your spouse is not a unique suggestion. You may wonder how it could help your marriage or create a connection between you and your spouse. You may even know couples who … Continue reading

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Photo opp

This simple exercise will remind you of your spouse and help you connect even when you’re out of touch. The idea of the photo opp is to put photos of your spouse in locations that you frequent but which your … Continue reading

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Business Meeting

Now that we’ve discussed the romantic marriage retreat, let’s get down to business. You and your spouse probably have an endless list of logistical matters to discuss, including food shopping, budgeting, investments, vacation planning, car pooling, home maintenance, dry cleaning … Continue reading

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Marriage Retreat Weekend

Do you need a marriage retreat weekend? The marriage retreat weekend is a private vacation getaway that will give you and your spouse the opportunity to escape all the distractions of home and work and immerse in each other for … Continue reading

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Marriage Trouble – How to Avoid it

I know a couple who were avid tennis players. They enjoyed tennis together throughout their courtship. Two years after they married, they had marriage trouble. When was the last time they played tennis together? About two years ago. Is tennis … Continue reading

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Marital Neglect

Retail clerks who graze the hands of customers when exchanging money are rated higher in customer service than those who do not. That’s because physical contact affects how we feel about someone more than we realize. Touch creates more than … Continue reading

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Talk Charges

Do you remember all the fascinating discussions you had with your spouse during your courtship? Hours upon hours you talked about… you probably can’t even remember. Long into the night you conversed playfully, laughing, joking, and maybe even crying. These … Continue reading

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Marriage Communication

You and your spouse will connect deeply when you spend quality time together, which I will address below. However, the modern life is a busy one, and most couples don’t get the opportunity to spend enough quality time together. Therefore, … Continue reading

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How to have a Good Marriage

Our children are precious to us. They warrant a great deal of our time and energy. But our spouse should come first so that we make sure we have a good marriage. Some parents make the mistake of devoting themselves … Continue reading

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