How I Went from Being Bored With My Husband to Falling In Love
I hesitated to contribute my story to this blog because I thought that I would be too embarrassed to admit that I sought counseling because I was bored with my husband.
To tell you the truth, it was my husband who talked me into doing this guest post. What really convinced me was the fact that there are probably a lot of women reading this who have secretly said, “My husband is boring and I’m tempted to leave or look elsewhere.”
My name’s Helen Grontz. Keep reading to learn more about what my husband and I did to rekindle our marriage and how it can work for you.
My Husband Was Great, but I Was Getting Bored in My Marriage
I started realizing that I was becoming bored in my marriage about two years ago, right after we had our twins.
My husband was wonderful, really, coming home right after work and staying home on weekends just to hang out with the babies. I guess that I started to see him as just a father, and not as the sexy, fun man I fell in love with. It didn’t help that I knew he was behaving exactly the way most people (including me) would say he should. I started heaping a lot of guilt onto myself for being bored with my husband when he was being the perfect daddy.
Feeling bad about being bored in my marriage just seemed to add to the problem. Because I felt guilty, I started feeling angry. I even resented Rob for not being what I needed right then or for not seeing that I needed anything other than a perfect father for my girls.
I Could See That Being Bored With My Husband Was Dangerous
Eventually, I realized that the way I was feeling was going to get us into a lot of trouble if we didn’t fix it. I decided to try a marriage program that my sister and her husband had used about 2 years ago.
I didn’t talk to my husband about using the program and I didn’t want him to go with me, because I really felt that I was the problem. I also felt scared that I’d have to come out and say, “My husband is boring me.”
Getting Help Wasn’t As Hard As I Expected
Even with my sister’s glowing recommendation, I was extremely nervous about using a marital program at first. I think I expected condemnation or at least disapproval to be evident as I made my way through. Of course, that was my own guilt talking.
My decision to follow through he program began to help me to put things in perspective by myself at first. It helped me understand that what I was feeling was natural; that we had gone from being a young couple that went out to dinner a lot, went dancing and traveled to a couple of parents and that this transition is hard for a lot of parents, especially when they haven’t been married very long.
I also began to figure out that the weight I hadn’t lost yet was also part of my problem; that I saw Rob’s transition to a devoted dad as an alternative to being the lover of his overweight wife. Once I really saw where my feelings were coming from, I talked to Rob and he was scared and hurt at first, but very willing to come to counseling with me. The counseling helped us to work out ways to keep the romance and the “couplehood” in our marriage while we grew into parenthood.
I’m so glad that I got help when I did, rather than continuing to be bored with my husband and possibly doing something to damage my marriage.
So if you want the kind of help that I received then you need to sign up free for Marriage Fitness by Mort Fertel. The form is at the top of the page and you receive the first lesson for free.