The Five Most Common Mistakes in Marriage: Learn Them Before You Make Them
All relationships need attention and nurturing to survive and thrive over many years. Your best tool is an awareness of some of the most common mistakes in marriage and the steps you can take to avoid making them. You won’t mistake-proof your marriage, but you will have a smoother transition to married life and a better chance of avoiding serious trouble.
Many couples begin their marriages with high expectations, a great deal of excitement and an awful lot of enthusiasm, and then are disillusioned by problems that they didn’t expect. Falling in love is a heady experience; it’s exciting and fun and overwhelming and can cloud your vision a bit when it comes to the realities of building and maintaining a lifelong relationship.
My name is Jenna I’m glad I can share what I’ve learned during my relationship with this blog post. So, keep reading for the 5 most common mistakes in marriage.
#1 Most Common Mistake in Marriage: Expecting Your Mate to Meet All of Your Needs
Before you fell in love with your mate, you most likely didn’t expect all of your needs to be met by a single person. You had different friends and family members that you turned to for fun, sound advice, quiet companionship or cheerleading.
It’s only when we fall in love that we expect one person to be all things to us. This can lead to quick disappointment and conflict. It’s important that you remember that your mate should be your best friend, but not your only friend and that others may still be better mentors, workout partners or antiquing buddies.
#2 Most Common Mistake in Marriage: Sabotaging Trust
Trust is the foundation of a solid, lasting marriage. Love may have brought you together, but without trust it will quickly wither and die. Be very careful of undermining your mate’s trust even in the smallest ways. Hiding store receipts, telling small lies and casual flirting may not seem like major issues, but a tiny crack in the foundation of trust can quickly become a huge fissure. Be open and honest about small things and your mate won’t doubt you when it comes to the biggies.
#3 Most Common Mistake in Marriage: Breaching the Privacy of Your Marriage
In the beginning of your marriage, you’ll likely become very predictable to your friends, family and coworkers, who’ll become used to you gushing with praise over your mate’s thoughtfulness, charm and other wonderful attributes. This is all well and good, but be wary of sharing things that may be too private for your mate’s comfort.
Your sex life, arguments or even your wife’s horrible cooking are no one’s business but yours and your spouse may well feel exposed and betrayed by finding out that your friends know all about it.
#4 Most Common Mistake in Marriage: Throwing Around the Word, “Divorce”
In the beginning of your marriage, even little disappointments and slights can turn into heated arguments as your illusions about “perfection” get dented and bruised. One very common and very damaging mistake is to throw out the idea of divorce when disagreements arise. This often happens when emotions are running high, especially if you haven’t yet gotten good at resolving conflict together. However, once you present divorce as an option, even without really meaning it, it will forever linger as a viable alternative to working things out.
#5 Most Common Mistake In Marriage: Insisting on Being Right
You don’t have to be in a disagreement to make this common mistake. Some of us tend to do this even in a lighthearted discussion about such frivolous topics as the best Chinese food in town or the right way to fold a sweater. Constantly insisting that you’re right, that your opinion is the correct one or that your way is the best way is a quick way to make your spouse feel undervalued and underestimated. If you find yourself in this situation, whether it’s a heated argument or a friendly debate, ask yourself this question, “Would I rather be right or happy?”
Marriage isn’t all work, but it isn’t all play, either. As in everything, balance is key. Knowing what can upset that balance can keep things running more smoothly.
If you want more help keeping your marriage healthy then I urge you to try Marriage Fitness by Mort Fertel. The program helped me realize these mistakes and I know it can do so much for you.
Don’t worry if you’re not sure if it’s right for your relationship—it’s free to get started and can even be done by yourself. All you need to do is fill out the form at the top of the page and you’ll get a free e-course sent straight to you.
I know that I owe my relationship to Marriage Fitness and that’s why I’m confident it’ll work for you too.