Emotional Cheating Affairs Signs & Cope

Marriage infidelity is not limited to physical unfaithfulness. Emotional cheating is as common as sexual affairs and causes just as much pain. Some unfortunately end in divorce, but most relationships can be salvaged.

My name is Lilly and I am a guest blogger on Mort’s site. Just below, I’ll reveal the telltale signs of emotional infidelity and what you can do to survive it and cope through the aftermath.

Physical Versus Emotional Infidelity: What’s the Difference?

Sexual infidelity involves intimacy on a physical level.

Emotional cheating, on the other hand, redirects emotional closeness, energy and time away from the spouse to another person or in some cases, an activity or hobby.

It’s not physical adultery; it’s emotional neglect.

In an emotional affair, the cheating spouse focuses their energy on a non-sexual relationship with a person –commonly a member of the opposite sex – or on a hobby they enjoy. They satisfy their emotional needs through venues independent of their spouse.

As a result, communication is broken. Sexual intimacy, if there is any, is kept at a minimum. Suddenly, husband and wife are distant, and unable to relate to each other.

The marriage loses its luster.

Signs of Emotional Cheating

Emotional affairs look different for every relationship, but there are a few universal warning signals that can be used to gauge emotional infidelity in a marriage:

Less time together – Does your husband or wife spend more time in front of the television, on the computer or at work than they do with you? Does your spouse say he/she is too tired or too busy to relate with you? Is your sexual relationship suffering? These could be symptoms that something is wrong.
Loss of interest – A sudden lack of excitement in a marriage – no longer enjoying activities and passions you once shared – is definitely a major red flag. Instead of going on your weekly bike ride, for instance, your husband or wife may opt to spend hours online or texting. He/she may substitute your date nights for meetings with other people.
The “we’re just friends” response – If you approach your spouse about an outside friendship with a member of the opposite sex, they may jump to the “we’re just friends” defense. This is a classic sign of emotional cheating. The bottom line is, your spouse should look to you for emotional satisfaction, not to someone else.

Coping with Emotional Affairs: How to Recover and Restore Your Marriage

There is no cut-and-paste method for fixing a broken marriage, but there are some steps you can take to cope with the devastation of the heart caused by emotional cheating.

Forgive and focus on the present – The first step in rebuilding a marriage involves forgiving the wrongdoer, especially if their apology is genuine. Then, begin to focus on your relationship, as it exists in the now. Ask, “What can I do today to improve this situation?”
Cut all ties – Once you identify who – or what – is the cause of the emotional infidelity, break all ties. Remember that this marriage is between two, not three. Eliminate the person or habit that caused emotional cheating in the first place and then turn your attention back to your spouse.
Figure out what is missing – Both of you should take some time and discuss what needs are not being adequately fulfilled in your marriage. Ask what was being sought outside of the marriage and how you both can work to satisfy those needs.
Change yourself – People naturally balk at the idea of change. If you constantly focus on changing your husband or wife, you will encounter resistance. When you are tempted to play the blame game, think about how YOU contributed to the situation and try changing YOURSELF first. Then, be an example of what you want your spouse to become. You might be surprised at what happens.
Remember love is a verb – Love is not a feeling. Love is an action. Love is what you experience when you do something for your spouse. Listen to your spouse; figure out what makes them feel loved. Then do something about it.
Be patient – Renewing a relationship after an emotional affair is not instantaneous. It takes time. There will be days when you feel like giving up, but don’t. Anything worth saving requires perseverance.

See more tips on dealing with marriage infidelity here.

Is marriage counseling effective for infidelity?

Every marriage is different and the internet can be helpful, but you’re not likely to find the answers you seek from a blog post. You need a plan. And you need an expert to guide you along the way.

I’ve helped hundreds of couples rebuild their marriages personally, and countless thousands more through my courses and products. I can help you too.

If you’d like to get serious about resolving this emotional cheating issue in your marriage, go to the top of the page, and put your name and email address in the box to receive the Top 7 Secrets To Fixing Your Marriage – absolutely free.

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