If you’re wondering how to fix a sexless marriage, then you’ve come to the right page.
Hi, my name is Ray and I am a guest blogger on Mort’s site. I would like to share my experience with you so that you can take strides in fixing your sexless marriage right away.
Asking for help is one of the most important parts in the process of figuring out how to fix a sexless marriage, and you’ve already taken the first step. So what do you need to do now?
There is a misconception that the flame of sexual desire only goes out of a marriage after several years. There’s even an accepted belief that the longer a couple is married, the less frequently they’ll have sex.
The truth is, many young couples find themselves having sex less often or not at all. On the other hand, many longstanding marriages have healthy and exciting sex lives.
While in older couples, health problems can often contribute to declining sex, frequently the issues are not physical, but mental and emotional. Good sex has an emotional and mental foundation; so does the lack of it.
Regardless of how long you’ve been married, the lack of a satisfying sexual relationship can be hurtful and quite damaging to your marriage. If you find trying to figure out how to fix a sexless marriage, keep reading to get to the heart of the problem.
Upgrade Your Time and Energy
Couples of all ages commonly cite lack of time and energy as the reason they don’t have sex anymore. This is particularly true of couples with young children. Wives are trying to balance work with child-rearing and running a household, while husbands are frequently working long hours to build their careers. Making time for making love isn’t as easy as when it was just the two of you.
If this sounds like your marriage, you need to re-prioritize what little time you do have. No matter how busy you are, there are things on your schedule that are far less important than your relationship with your spouse.
It may take some effort to replace TV watching, time with friends or time spent on a hobby with quality time alone with your mate, but the rewards will be almost immediate. You first attracted your spouse and made them your lover by spending time with them. It’s still the best way to spark interest and your sex life. Sometimes, just being willing to shift your schedule will be all you need to determine how to fix a sexless marriage.
Boost Your Interest in Each Other
There are times when health and hormones can drain sexual desire. In those cases, a doctor should be consulted when trying to discover how to fix a sexless marriage.
However, lack of interest often stems from a decreased sense of either yourself or your mate as a sexual partner.
Couples often start seeing their spouses as extensions of themselves and the family, rather than as individuals. While this isn’t a bad viewpoint necessarily, if it becomes the only way you see your spouse, your sexual desire will wane.
The antidote for this is to go back to the point where your primary view of your mate was as a sexually attractive member of the opposite sex. They were new, they were undiscovered and they were attractive because of the confidence they got from your attraction to them.
Very often, getting some of that new-ness back is the key. This doesn’t necessarily mean trying something new in the bedroom, though that is a possible outcome. What it means is learning new things about each other and trying some new things together outside of the bedroom.
When you were dating, you were constantly learning about your mate. You wanted to know everything. When was the last time you asked them about their dreams, goals and interests? By engaging in some fact-finding, you’re likely to not only rekindle your own interest, but theirs.
Find out some things that you’d both like to experience for the first time, and then try them out together. When you first became a couple, everything you did with one another seemed new because you were doing it together. Now you can start feeling new to each other, by sharing a new experience. Flying down a zip line may not seem sexy at first, but trying something new and seeing your spouse do something unexpected can be very arousing.
Give this a try by having a cup of coffee with your mate and having each of you write down three things that you’ve always wanted to try. Then make a deal: as a couple, you’ll try one thing from the other person’s list. With any luck, you’ll do more than one.
Taking Things One Step Further
If you’re still lacking confidence or seem unsure of how to fix a sexless marriage, then you may need to take things one step further. Reconnecting with your spouse takes time and commitment.
So if you’re dedicated to keeping every aspect of your relationship healthy, then you may want to consider professional help.
Marriage Fitness is an option for couples who are interested in exploring an alternative to counseling. It’s designed as an effective choice that can be used by both spouses, or used alone.
So if you’re ready to join thousands of other couples who solved the marital crisis they were facing, then get the help you need.
It’s free to get started, all you need to do is tell me where to send my first e-course, “7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage” and you can begin repairing your marriage. To get your first lesson, you can click here or simply scroll up to the top of the page and fill in the contact form.
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