It’s unfortunately very common for couples to complain of too little sex in their relationship or even seek help for a sexless marriage. Often, one or both partners fear that there may not be any help for a sexless marriage.
Hello, my name is Sarah and I am a guest blogger on Mort’s site. I would like to take some time to share my experience with you.
The truth is, a healthy sex life can be restored to most marriages, once the couple realizes that it is a problem and agrees to work together to solve it. In fact, many couples report that their marriage becomes stronger than ever after they’ve worked together to regain a sexual relationship.
Keep reading to learn more about what you can do to start restoring the intimacy in your marriage.
What You and Your Partner Are Missing
There are many reasons that couples find themselves in a marriage without intimacy. Most of the time, this is not a situation that has come on suddenly.
Infidelity or another breach of trust can suddenly bring a halt to a healthy sex life. However, usually sex dwindles quite gradually, going almost unnoticed until it becomes a very serious issue. While a healthy sex life is a vital part of marriage, it’s the issues that caused the situation that are most dangerous to the marriage itself.
The reason it’s so important for couples to seek help for a sexless marriage is that there are issues beneath the surface that will continue to erode the marriage, with or without sex. These reasons are so varied that not all of them can be addressed here. However, there are some very common answers found when couples seek counseling or other help for a sexless marriage.
What Couples Have Learned
One of the most frequent issues is unresolved bitterness or hurt. If one or both spouses are harboring resentment or pain, even from an issue that was thought to be resolved, marital sexuality can quickly disappear.
Sometimes the hurt party is consciously or unconsciously “punishing” their partner. This is sometimes intentional, but often the hurt spouse isn’t even aware of the motivation. While apologies and promises have been made or steps have been taken to repair the damage, it’s possible that feelings of hurt, anger or resentment still linger.
Stress and exhaustion are other, connected causes uncovered when couples get help for a sexless marriage. The severe stress of job loss, family illness or death or serious problems with children can often bring a halt to a healthy sex life. However, it’s very common for everyday stress and increasingly hectic schedules to whittle away at a couple’s sex life.
Men frequently become so stressed and overworked by job pressures that they’re too exhausted to want sex. Women become so stressed by trying to balance all of their roles that they’re too distracted and tired to want anything but sleep when it’s time for bed. Even otherwise loving couples eventually find themselves turning to help for their sexless marriage.
In these cases, couples have to work together to reprioritize their time and energy. If they don’t make a conscious effort to make each other and their marriage a higher priority, they’ll often find themselves in not only a marriage without sex, but a loveless one.
Battling Insecurity and Offering Reassurance
Insecurity is another frequent cause behind a sexless marriage. Men need frequent assurance that they are respected, capable, appreciated and admired. When the outside world erodes that confidence and the marriage doesn’t build it up, men often find themselves with less and less urge for sex. In some cases, they seek that boost to their self-esteem elsewhere.
Women need reassurance (from their spouses) that they are sexually attractive and appreciated. Aging, childbirth and having less time to spend caring for their bodies can leave many women feeling extremely insecure about their bodies, their sexuality and their attractiveness to their mates. This insecurity makes it difficult for women to enjoy a healthy sex life.
Couples with insecurity issues can get help with identifying these problems and work together to rebuild each other’s self-esteem and sexual confidence.
While counseling and professional guidance can be crucial, the best help for a sexless marriage is a couple’s commitment to change it for the better.
Taking it Further
If you still find yourself unable to rekindle the passion in your relationship, then you may need to ask for help. Most people have problems asking others for assistance and support with personal issues, but sometimes it’s the best thing you can do.
Everybody needs help at one time or another. More importantly, however, they also need to be ready and willing to embrace a solution when they find it.
Fortunately, you’ve already taken the first step towards repairing your marriage by reading this page. Now, you just need to take things one step further.
I developed an alternative to marriage counseling that has already helped countless couples around the world.
Now, I’m urging you to try the first course. I’m so confident that it’ll be the solution you’re looking for that I’m offering it for free!
To get started, simply scroll to the top of the page and fill out the request form to get the course, “7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage” sent straight to your inbox.
Take the necessary steps forward to fix your marriage.
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