How Do I Connect With My Husband?

 How Do I Connect With My Husband?

Hello, my name is Crystal. My husband Mike and I have been married for thirteen years, we dated for six years before that as well. All of this time together, one would think that I know my husband well. Unfortunately, I am left asking myself “How do I connect with my husband?”

Although Mike and I have been together for so many years, instead of being my best friend and my husband he is just that person who sleeps in the same room as me. Our conversations are extremely limited, and quite honestly, hard to maintain. Sometimes speaking to my husband feels forced.

How Do I Connect With My Husband?


Always Distracted


Any time that we do spend together, is spent either on our phones or computers, or even in front of the TV. The man that I once told everything to, and the man that would make me laugh for the most random reasons is no longer that person on the couch next to me. My marriage feels like a struggle and I am having a hard time accepting that.


One thing we do agree on is our love for our children. When Mike sees our children, his eyes light up and he becomes the lively person that I once knew. When he looks at me however, I feel that he is looking through me and really not interested in what I have to say. He always seems preoccupied.


I Still Love My Husband


It bothers me to know that even though we are facing a rough patch right now in our marriage, I still love my husband. I hope that he still loves me. Living with the thought that my husband might not be in love with me anymore, hurts me more than anything. I want so much to fix our marriage but I don’t know how.


I must admit that I did go to my friends for advice on what to do about my marriage. I wanted to save this marriage but since I didn’t know if my husband wanted to work on our marriage, I was in a bind. Some friends told me to talk to my husband, but since it was hard to get an answer on how his day was, I figured speaking to my husband might not be the best solution.


What Do I Do?


After months of going back and forth in my mind of what to do, I finally thought of the idea of marriage counseling. I hesitantly brought up the idea to my husband and to my surprise he agreed. I was happy that he actually wanted to work on our marriage. By Mike agreeing, I felt that he really did love me again and that made me feel a lot better.


We searched the internet for what would be the best match for our rough patch in our marriage. Thankfully, we came across Mort Fertel’s Marriage Fitness Program. Through this program, I finally got the answer to the question that I have been asking, “How do I connect with my husband?” In addition to that answer, we were able to learn what marriage is about and what makes a successful marriage. Together, we use the skills that we acquired through counseling and I can confidently say that I finally know my husband again and couldn’t be happier.


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