How to Be More Assertive in a Relationship

Do you and your spouse struggle to communicate effectively? Are you wondering how to be more assertive in a relationship without resorting to aggression or abuse?

Assertiveness is a valuable skill in marriage because it leads to positive and productive exchange of ideas between husband and wife.

I wrote this post specifically to address this often-underdeveloped communication technique.

Hello, my name is Jackson and I am a guest blogger on Mort’s site. If you want to learn how to be more assertive in a relationship, don’t stop here. Keep reading!

What is Assertiveness?

Before we move on, it might be helpful to define what is meant by the word “assertiveness.”

Assertiveness is the ability to express oneself without hesitation or fear, while still respecting the opinions and rights of others.

A person with poor assertive skills risks encountering significant problems down the road, including:

Unmet needs and desires
Powerlessness and vulnerability
Reluctance to address marital problems
Abuse

On the other hand, a person who practices assertive behavior doesn’t easily fall victim to feelings of frustration, neglect or disregard.

Signs of Passive, Aggressive and Passive-Aggressive Abuse in Marriage

Before you can discover how to be more assertive in a relationship, you need to be able to recognize patterns of passive, aggressive and passive-aggressive behavior.

Passive – In a passive relationship, one spouse fails to stand up for their convictions, rights and individual thoughts. This perceived meekness is really just a lack of courage to defend their self-worth. This passivity leads to personal devaluation and leaves a person at the mercy of a partner who dominates, controls and mercilessly demands change.

Aggressive –Spouses who practice aggression may use intimidation, blame and manipulation to get what they want. They make demands rather than gentle requests. Aggression often – but not always – leads to verbal, psychological or physical violence.

Passive-aggressive – In this scenario, spouses fail to convey their emotions directly. Instead of verbally communicating their disagreements, concerns or feelings, they opt for non-verbal expressions, including the “silent treatment” or the slamming of doors.

Reclaim Your Confidence with Assertiveness Training

Problems of passivity, aggression or passive-aggressive conduct can be eliminated from a marriage with the right assertiveness training.

These programs instruct couples how to be more assertive in a relationship and how to have better communication.

Under the guidance of a certified marriage and assertiveness coach, husbands and wives gain helpful tips that will help them to successfully articulate their needs and desires.

Couples are taught to:

Understand one’s personal rights
Avoid angry confrontations
Say “no” when one means “no”
Listen to what the other person has to say
Use “I” statements
Make expectations clear
Take responsibility for one’s own behavior
Develop positive communication habits

But these practices can be difficult to implement alone.

It is for this reason that such revolutionary counseling alternatives – like Marriage Fitness – exist.

I know from personal experience that what struggling couples need more than a therapist’s office and a listening ear is a plan – a step-by-step, assertiveness-boosting plan.

Marriage Fitness is that plan. Marriage Fitness is a strategy for your marriage and for life.

You can eliminate harmful behaviors from your relationship by turning your focus back onto your spouse, and actively living out your love and commitment.

Marriage Fitness reveals secrets of how to be more assertive in a relationship threatened by:

Family tension
Physical and emotional distance
Workaholic tendencies
Addiction
Infidelity
Silence
Boredom
Blame
Anger
Verbal abuse
Denial

You’ll also understand when it’s time to go, and how to react when your spouse gives up and wants a divorce.

If you seriously need to work on communication in your marriage, I urge you to try Marriage Fitness.

It’s FREE to start. All you have to do is enter your name and e-mail address in the box above. I will send my e-course, “7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage,” directly to your inbox within minutes.

Do you really want to investigate how to be more assertive in a relationship? All it takes is one simple step in the right direction.