How to Cure a Sexless Marriage

One of the most common reasons for a couple to seek marital counseling is to figure out how to cure a sexless marriage.

The truth is that falling in love is easy; staying in love takes a bit more work. It’s not impossible; it’s just not quite effortless.

Hi, my name is Steven and I am a guest blogger on Mort’s site. I would like to take this opportunity to share my experience with you.

Hopefully, you’ve already eliminated any underlying medical conditions that may be keeping you from enjoying a healthy sex life. If none exist, there are a number of other reasons that sex may be missing from your relationship and a number of solutions to bring it back.

Two of the most common reasons for a sexless marriage are lack of time and lack of communication.

Basically, you can break these two issues down into:

What you need to remove from your marriage, and
What you need to put back in

Remove the Busyness, Add Back the Time

With the frenzied and stressful lives we all lead today, lack of time and energy are one of the most common reasons for a sexless marriage. At first, you go from nightly sex to once a week. A while later, you notice you’re only making love once a month.

Before you know it, you realize it’s been months since you and your spouse even saw each other nude. Very often, schedules that run you ragged and leave you little free time are to blame.

If the two of you honestly want to find a cure for your sexless marriage and your busy life is in the way, you need to remove some things from your agenda.

Take a look at where you really spend your time over the course of a few days or a week. How much time do you spend on things that don’t really add anything to your life or your marriage?

Many people are surprised to realize how much time they spend on things they don’t even like. Obviously, we’re not talking about workaholic tendencies or parenting duties, but things like television shows that you don’t really care about or meetings for committees that you were talked into joining.

Decide what can be cut out of your day, then add at least some of that time back into your relationship. Instead of scanning the channels looking for something that’s “good enough” to watch, take a walk around the neighborhood with your mate or play a board game. Instead of dragging yourself out to another PTA meeting, skip every other meeting and make that the night you two meet for coffee. You get the idea.

Remove the Distance, Add Back the Intimacy

There are a number of things that can cause otherwise loving spouses to feel distant from each other. That distance makes it hard for most people to feel much interest in having sex.

For the most part, it all comes down to communication. A lack of communication, in its various forms, creates emotional distance and a marriage without intimacy.

Communication breaks down in many ways. You may find yourselves talking more about the logistics of your marriage than you do anything interesting or important to you on a personal level.

If your conversations consist of schedules, to-do lists, reminders, updates and verbal memos, they’re not leaving you much to get excited about.

Think back to when you first became interested in your mate. What did you talk about? The dry cleaning, vet appointment and soffits that needed repair?

No. You talked about each other’s goals and dreams, about what made you laugh that day, or about what fun thing you could do together.

You may need to work on removing some of the mechanical talk and adding in some more real conversation. Even fifteen minutes of purely personal or entertaining conversation can remind you that you’re still two sexual beings, not just part of a family unit. Really talking to your spouse reminds you that you used to look forward to the opportunity. Then it reminds you why.

There is no one way to cure a sexless marriage, just like there is no one reason for a sexless marriage to develop.

If one of these possible causes sounds like your relationship, try these ideas for a while. You may find you didn’t need a cure; just a vitamin to get you going again.

Position Yourself For Happiness

Asking for help is never easy, especially with something as personal as marital sexuality.

However, if you’re still struggling with how to cure a sexless marriage, then you may need to take an extra step and ask for professional counseling in order to save your relationship.

By visiting this page, you’ve already begun the process. Dedication and commitment are necessary for working through all types of relationship problems—whether it’s being in a marriage without intimacy, an inability to be assertive in a relationship, or any other problem.

I developed Marriage Fitness to help couples like you. Healthy marriage sexuality requires effort and a willingness to try new things.

You can achieve a healthy sex life and you can create a more healthy marriage overall.

If you still find yourself uncertain with how to increase intimacy in marriage, then I urge you to try Marriage Fitness.

You can try the program for free, with no obligations and no hassles. I’ll send you my first e-course, “7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage” and you can decide for yourself whether it’s right for you.

To get started, scroll to the top of the screen to fill out a request form and I’ll send the course straight to your inbox.