How to Strengthen a Marriage

Hi, my name is Adina Ohana. As a guest blogger for the Marriage Counseling Blog, I am often asked how to strengthen a marriage. There are so many helpful strategies for strengthening your marriage. This article will give you some great and easy-to-apply tips on how to strengthen a marriage.

I recently received an email from a woman named Jenny. The main issue in her marriage was time management.

She and her spouse had difficulty making time for each other or any of the big goals they had for themselves. They were caught up in their children’s activities and day-to-day necessities. They simply forgot to prioritize each other.

Time Management Skills Can Strengthen a Marriage

Time management in a marriage can be really difficult.

We might need to change the way we look at time. I recently heard time compared to money. We have 86,400 seconds in a day. Now imagine if that were our daily budget in dollars. Picture walking into the bank every morning only to find out your balance was $86,400 dollars. And it was yours to do whatever you’d like with. The only catch is that whatever you do not use by the next day is discarded of. There are no rollover balances. You can’t catch up the next day. It is what it is. You have $86,400 dollars for that day only.

You would make sure to withdraw every last penny, right? You would maximize every dollar. You would take advantage of it!

That’s what you need to do with time. You are given this precious gift of 86,400 seconds EVERY SINGLE DAY WITHOUT FAIL. Utilize them! Maximize their potential!

How Are You Spending The Time You Have?

Now let’s focus on Jenny specifically. She had a plan. She even had a planner. She had daily goals. The issue was with sticking to them.

So here’s how to strengthen your marriage using time management. First, try to figure out what you are doing with your time instead. Are you wasting time with TV? Television really eats up time and it is so important to eliminate it. If that’s not possible, you can always unplug it and just plug it in when you absolutely “need it”.

Maybe it’s not television. Maybe it’s the order in which you are accomplishing your tasks. You mentioned you get the small yet necessary tasks out of the way. It sounds like there are some large goals that may not be as urgent or necessary and you have not yet had time for them.

Re-Prioritize Your Daily Tasks

So why not reverse your priorities? You know you’ll get the necessary stuff done. You have in the past and you seem pressured to do so. Try tackling your big goals first. Are you working on writing a book? Do it first thing in the morning. Redecorating the house? Set aside a couple of hours in the morning to do that BEFORE you tackle your daily essential tasks.

In the case of your marriage, a “big goal” might even be a date with your spouse. You may have gotten in the habit of pushing off your dates until the evening. For some couples, that might work. For others, you may be tired by the end of the day and just request a rain check. If that sounds like you, try scheduling a morning date with your spouse.

Making Room for Your Spouse

You may have heard this great example about time management in the form of filling a jar. If you put large rocks in a jar and fill it to the top, it may appear full, but there is always more room. You can add gravel, shake around the jar, and it will appear full once again. But there’s still more room… At that point you can add sand. And after that, you can STILL add water.

The ONLY way this is possible though, is too add the big rocks first.

So add your big rocks first. Take care of your big goals, your marriage, and then fill in the rest of the day’s cracks with your basic goals. By prioritizing your spouse you will truly strengthen your marriage.

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