My name is Karen and, for months, I’ve been trying to find the answer to the question of “how to trust your husband.”
Recently, I caught Troy cheating and nothing has been the same since. We hardly talked, I was suspicious of his every move, and the tension that you can feel in our house was threatening to tear our marriage apart.
This was especially painful because, less than a year ago, our daughter Ashley was born.
Let me tell you all about our history, how we got to this point, and what I did to keep us together as a family.
If you’re looking for the answer to how to trust your husband, hopefully my story will give you insight into what you can do to rebuild your broken bonds.
Discover 7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage
That Day When I Realized I Don’t Trust My Husband
Troy and I met in high school and we both graduated six years ago. We dated each other since sophomore year and got married only three years out of high school.
Everyone, especially my mother, thought that we were moving way too fast and that we should give it time before we made it official.
“What did they know?” I thought.
“Troy and I are in love, and this will work” I reasoned.
And for those first few years, everything was fine.
Even when I became pregnant, Troy was there by my side and we faced the challenges of marriage together.
It seemed like that all changed once our baby was born, though.
I feel like we had the marriage thing figured out, but parenting was definitely something that took us by surprise. Between the constant sleepless nights and the added expenses that no one warned us about, we were struggling.
I would have Ashley with me all day while Troy worked to provide for us and I would often use the time to do things like run errands and take our daughter to doctors appointments.
One day, I came home from being out for a few hours and was surprised to see Troy’s car outside.
I went inside and he was one the couch kissing another woman.
I just stood there in stunned silence. Troy apologized what seemed like a thousand times. She, whoever she was, ran outside and I never saw her again.
I don’t think I talked to him again for the rest of the day.
I took me a whole week to get over the shock, and then I began asking the question of how to trust your husband again.
What Should I Do After an Affair?
This was a question that I was asking myself constantly when I thought about Troy’s cheating.
She was someone he met at bar when he and some of his coworkers had gone out for drinks after work, Troy explained. He would sometimes tell me he we was working later when he was really going to see her.
This had been going on for a few months, and I never thought much about it because Troy’s job sometimes required him to work late.
But how could trust him again after he lied?
Could I trust him at all?
Were we heading for a divorce, just like my parents had done when I was a kid?
These questions all raced through my head as I tried to figure out how to share a home with a man I wasn’t even sure I wanted to be with anymore.
I Needed to Figure Out What Happened
Why had Troy gone to this other woman?
Had I been so busy trying to figure out how to be a parent that I didn’t realize we were drifting apart?
Did he even love me anymore?
Figuring out how to trust your husband again brings more questions than it does answers, but I was determined to find out where everything went wrong, and why.
I still hadn’t gotten over the shock of finding him with another woman and, because of that, entire weeks passed before I was ready to talk about the issue.
He blamed stress.
The stress of working long hours, of being a new parent, of thinking he might not be good enough to support a wife and new daughter.
I still have a hard time articulating what I felt about this revelation. Hurt isn’t the right word, but I feel like he could have explained that to me instead of trying to find comfort in the arms of some other woman.
I felt like he should have talked to me.
I Realized We Had Communication Problems in Our Marriage
We didn’t talk, that was our problem.
When answering the question of how to trust your husband, I realized that Troy and I didn’t really say much about what was bothering us.
In order to overcome this, I turned to a marriage counseling alternative that talked about the importance of communication in a successful marriage.
Through this method, I learned about how to rebuild what Troy and I had and how to make it stronger so that we could work through our issues in the future.
I haven’t completely gotten over the fact that he cheated on me and, in all honesty, I don’t think I ever really will, but I now know what kind of approach I need to take for us to get through the hard times that are sure to challenge our marriage in the future.
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You might be surprised with what you learn.