My Husband Lies To Me
My name is Beth and my husband lies to me.
This is something that has been happening for a while, but had only gotten worse a few months ago.
Kyle and I have been married for 15 years. In that time he had a good, steady job as a foreman at an automotive plant, but things took a turn for the worse when the economy took a dive.
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Is My Husband Lying?
You see, Kyle would usually leave for work before I did in the morning and be home before I was, so I didn’t suspect anything for a while.
When I asked him how his day was, I’d get a quick “fine” before he changed the subject.
Sometimes he would come home well after I did, and when I asked why, he would always say he went out for drinks with a few coworkers.
I thought it was unusual, but I trusted him.
Then the phone calls started.
Every time his cell phone would ring, he would quickly duck out of the room to take it. The calls would always be quick, and he’d be hesitant to tell me who was on the other end when I’d ask.
That’s when I knew something was wrong.
Every time I would ask Kyle about it he would either shut down or show signs of becoming defensive. Kyle’s always been a stoic guy, not one to talk about what was bothering him, but nothing like this. I knew something was wrong and I had to do something about it.
Our Communication Was Worse Than Ever
I’ve seen friends drift apart from their husbands and wives following this kind of behavior and I wasn’t going to let that happen to us.
Still, I couldn’t stop the thoughts from filling my head.
Was there trouble at his job?
Is my husband cheating?
These were questions I needed answers to, and I had to get them no matter what.
When I saw Kyle with another woman, I thought I had confirmed my worst suspicions and thought “My husband lies to me”.
I had already been having a stressful day at work and I thought I would stop by a bar that I knew some of the guys from the plant frequented, so I thought I would surprise Kyle and join them.
I saw him sitting at the bar, but he was with a woman I had never seen before, laughing and having drinks. I got out before he could see me and went right home.
And Here’s The Surprise
When he finally came home later that night, the situation was a little tense. I told him about how I saw him with her at the bar and he accused me of spying on him.
I asked him how long he had been seeing her and he said it wasn’t like that.
I told him to just be honest with me about why he was seeing her and he finally came clean.
She was from his job, but they weren’t having an affair with each other. The woman I saw Kyle with had come from corporate headquarters because there had been talks about shutting down the plant.
Kyle had been spending the past month trying to keep that from happening. The late nights, the phone calls, and him being on edge were all the results of him being stressed out at work.
My husband lies to me, just not in the way I originally thought.
Why couldn’t he tell me any of this? Why did he feel like he had to keep all of this from me?
We Needed Help to Communicate Better
Even after the truth came out, I knew that we were having trouble with communication in marriage, and that could tear us apart just as easily as any affair could.
Kyle thought he could do this on his own, and I was quick to jump to conclusions because we didn’t communicate the way we should.
After things cooled down, Kyle and I decided we needed help to improve communication in our marriage. At the recommendation of a friend, we enrolled in an online counseling alternative to help with our marriage.
Through exercises and activities, the program revealed some unexpected insight into our marriage.
What started with the problem of “my husband lies to me” turned into me dealing with issues of insecurity while Kyle worked on his communication and being more open with what’s going on in his life.
The program is helping us work on our respective issues, and I think we’ll both be better for it at the end of the day.
If you suspect your husband is lying to you, you shouldn’t assume the worst. Be honest and confront him. But most of all, if the problems seem to big to handle, don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Do what Kyle and I did, and fill out the form below. You’ll receive free marriage tips from Mort that might help you save your marriage.