Hi, my name is Liz and after only one year of marriage with my husband Mel, I was ready for a divorce. Why? My husband is selfish—or rather he was.
Keep reading to find out what changed, and how it saved our marriage!
Discover 7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage
Nothing Changed When We Married
When my husband and I were dating we each lived our own separate lives. We lived in different apartments. We had different friends. We certainly weren’t one of those couples that spent every waking moment together.
And we were happy this way.
But then when he proposed and we got married, I figured things would change. After all, married couples are a team. They’re supposed to do everything together. That’s what I had been told, and that’s the way I thought.
Well that never happened. We kept living the exact same life we did when we were dating, only now we slept in the same bed every night.
It’s Hard to Know Someone Until You Lived With Them
I think it’s difficult to really know someone until you’ve lived with them.
I never realized how lazy my husband was until we moved in together. He wouldn’t help me with anything. He REFUSED to clean even a coffee mug. He figured that was my job.
So what did I do? I washed all of my own dishes and left his in the sink. At the end of our first month of marriage we were out of dishes. Finally I broke down and cleaned them myself.
Little things like this started to add up. Then I got a great new job. But the problem was that I had to be at work at 5 AM every morning. My husband would go out with his friends until 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning and then come home and wake me up. On nights like this I would sleep for maybe 3 or 4 hours.
This is when I realized that my husband is more than inconsiderate–my husband is selfish!
Why Is My Husband So Selfish?
Within 3 months of being married, I was already looking for an exit. I expected my husband to grow up and really become a loving husband—the type of man that puts his wife’s happiness in front of his own. Now he was just an uncaring husband.
I quickly realized I was married to the same bar fly that I was dating. Nothing changed.
When I’d confront my husband he’d get defensive. I told him EXACTLY what I wanted from. I told him EXACTLY why I was disappointed in him. I told him EXACTLY why our marriage was never going to work.
He didn’t want to hear any of it.
I was seconds away from giving up, but I decided to give our marriage one more chance if he was willing to seek some kind of help… any kind of help to prove he wasn’t the selfish man I thought he was. I gave him one week to come up with a solution, and this is what he did.
I Didn’t Know An Online Alternative to Marriage Counseling Even Existed
He didn’t even wait a week. He came to me the next day and proposed an alternative to marriage counseling he found online called, Marriage Fitness.
The program introduced us to fun exercises aimed at helping us understand each other better and improving our communication in marriage. We sat down 5 nights for a week for an entire month and completed exercises and began to learn more and more about each other.
I learned more about his parents divorce, and how he has trouble really devoting himself to a relationship. Not that he cheats, just that he doesn’t want to become too close to anyone—even his wife.
Once I learned this, EVERYTHING CHANGED!
By the end of the next month, I became more understanding, and he became more comfortable showing his love for me. We were happier than ever!
We still do the exercises several nights a week, and we’re getting closer and closer everyday.
Maybe What Worked For Us Can Work For You
If you’re like I was, and find yourself saying, “My husband is selfish,” don’t give up! I was ready to throw in the towel after less than year of marriage, and if I had, I wouldn’t have the happy marriage I have now.
Fill out the form below and you’ll receive free marriage tips delivered directly to your inbox. I owe my marriage to the guy that writes them–Mort Fertel. Thanks Mort!