My name is Amanda and my husband spends too much money.
Troy and I haven’t been married long, so there are still a lot of things that we need to figure out… especially how to save money and plan for our future.
That’s hard to do when you’re husbands spends too much of the money he brings home.
If this sounds like a situation that you’re facing, please keep reading my story to learn how my husband broke his bad habit and saved our marriage. Hopefully you’ll be able to find some inspiration that will help you with your marriage issues.
Money Would Come & Go in the Blink of an Eye
When Troy and I first started dating a few short years ago, he’d spare no expense in trying to impress me. I didn’t think much about at first, so it wasn’t until we finally got married that I realized how much of an issue it truly was.
Troy is a big movie guy, so he collects a lot of memorabilia, and posters. Before he met me, he experimented with making movies of his own, and it was something he slowly got back into after we married.
When he was showing me cameras and other equipment with four and five figure price tags, I should have taken that as a sign of trouble that said my husband spends too much money.
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I didn’t want to seem like I didn’t support his interests, so I said nothing. Our house started getting cluttered with cameras and a bunch of other gear I didn’t recognize, but I still kept quiet.
I felt like it wasn’t my place to say anything because our bills were getting paid and we still had food on the table, but there was always very little left after Troy would buy new equipment that he claimed he needed.
He did slow down a little when I became pregnant but, after Brianna was born, Troy fell right back into his old habits.
Didn’t he realize that he had new marital responsibilities now? Didn’t he realize that a lot of what he was spending would be better used for making sure our family was secure for the future?
Troy’s spending on his hobby didn’t slow down, even with the added expense of a baby. The same amount of money was being stretched much further.
I would voice my concerns over whether or not bills would be paid and his response was always “don’t worry about it”.
I wanted to save for a home, make sure Brianna was taken care of, and have something set aside in case of emergency, but Troy always downplayed whatever I had to say on those issues.
How could I make him see that times have changed? What did I need to do to show my husband that he spends too much?
There Was Something Else At Work Here
At first, I thought the answer might have been in financial counseling. I figured that we could avoid the financial problems in marriage if I figured out a way for us to better manage our money.
It was only after doing a lot of searching that I realized there was another issue at work here.
Troy and I didn’t communicate enough.
I think my husband spends too much and, when I bring it up, he dismisses me. Instead of pressing harder or trying a different approach, I would just let it go and quietly stress about money.
When I realized that, I stopped searching for financial counseling and started looking for marriage counseling. What I found was an alternative to marriage counseling that emphasized why communication with your spouse is important, and I used the methods I learned to get through to Troy.
I told him about how I worried that his spending might leave with us without money when we really needed it. I told him about how I was uncertain about our future and I felt like it wasn’t something he really gave much thought or care to.
I told him that I didn’t want to feel like I was alone in helping our family succeed while he went off to do whatever he wanted. I wasn’t sure any of that would work, but it was like something changed in him.
Troy admitted that he was so wrapped up in his hobby that he didn’t think about much else. He told me how much he loved me and Brianna. I knew all of that, but I needed him to say it and, more importantly, show it.
He showed me that respect by selling a lot of his excess equipment and items and putting some serious effort into helping set up savings account for all of our benefit. I finally had peace of mind knowing that my daughter and I had someone we could depend on in our lives.
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A lack of communication might be what threatens your marriage, but it doesn’t have to be that way. If you find yourself saying “my husband spends too much” then fill out your information below to find a solution that can help save your marriage.