My name is Kathryn and when I learned that I don’t respect my husband it began to put huge strains on our relationship.
Jeff and I epitomize the term “opposites attract”, more so in our personalities than anything else, and that’s caused just as many good times as it has bad.
In the years that we’ve been married, it seems like the tension has only gotten worse. Lately, there have been a lot of arguments and it seemed like we were edging closer to splitting than we ever had been before.
If this sounds like a situation you’re facing, keep reading to learn why I don’t respect my husband, what I’m doing to fix it, and how you might be able to save your marriage too.
Discover 7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage
I Don’t Look At My Husband the Same Way Anymore
Jeff and I met in our 20s. During a time when I was stressed out about grad school and a million other things happening, he was exactly what I needed.
Something about his personality made life’s stresses go away, even if only for a little while. And he was always fun to be around!
We dated and eventually married and, for a while, things were good. We both worked, but Jeff tended to happy with where he was while I always looked for better opportunities.
In the ten years we’ve been married, he only changed jobs one time because the first company he worked for shut its doors. I’ve had four different jobs in that same time because I always found something I thought was better.
He works as a programmer, so his skills are in definitely in demand and he wouldn’t have a hard time finding a job, but I feel like he doesn’t even try sometimes.
Things changed when I tried to get him a job where I work. He turned down the offer when he found out there’d be occasional overtime and weekend work.
I want someone to constantly strive for success just like I do, but I slowly began realizing that my husband was not that man.
Were we growing apart?
Were we just not meant to be because of this one thing?
I tried raising the issue with him, tried asking why he didn’t want more out of his professional life. I realized that I don’t respect my husband when he said his career progression was “no big deal” because he made enough money to put food on the table and pursue his hobbies.
How could I be with someone who didn’t care where he was going as long as he was happy with where he was?
Without respect in marriage, how could this work?
How Could I Make Him See Things From My Perspective?
I tried to talk to my parents about this, but my parents don’t like my husband and never have for this exact reason.
They would say that he couldn’t give me the world. The problem with that was that I didn’t want someone who could give me the world; I wanted someone who would willingly take it on alongside me.
I would try to tell Jeff why I think he should strive for better but, when I do, my husband says I don’t respect him. He had trouble seeing why he should always be aiming for better career wise when he felt like things were going the way they were.
We never fought about the money, that was never the problem, but he felt like I was suggesting he didn’t make enough for my satisfaction.
Was this going to lead to more martial problems?
Were we doomed because he lived for the present while I always looked toward the future?
Why Don’t I Respect My Husband? Marriage Max Helped Me Save My Marriage!
I wanted to get to the root of the problem, but I didn’t know how to talk to Jeff without feeling like I was attacking him as a person.
In my online searching, I came across an alternative to marriage counseling that helped make sense of the situation. Instead of forcing me to evaluate my marriage, it emphasized the importance of communication in marriage.
I took what I learned and went to Jeff, explaining that I felt like a good career status was something he should strive for in life.
As we talked, things veered more toward what we wanted in life and I realized that, while having a good career made me happy, Jeff was happy pursuing his hobbies outside of work.
I didn’t understand it, but I understood that it made him happy.
Opening up to stronger communication did wonders for our marriage and helped repair it before things got really bad.
If you’re facing a similar situation and don’t know what to do, I urge you to fill out the information below. It may just help save your marriage.