I Love My Husband But He Doesn’t Love Me
Hello, my name is Rita. Fourteen years ago, I married my husband Frank. Our wedding day was one of the most happiest memories for me, unfortunately my husband doesn’t look back on our wedding day with the same memories as mine. He looks back at that day full of remorse and regrets. Our marriage is not on the same page anymore. In fact, I love my husband but he doesn’t love me.
Getting the Cold Shoulder
My husband was never the overly affectionate type of person. I always knew where I stood, and I knew that holding my husband’s hand was never an option. I could be freezing, and my husband would still not put his arm around me. I was okay with that because I knew that once we are at home, he would make up for it.
As years passed, my husband started to be as cold as he was in public, behind closed doors. He would make sure to fall asleep before I even am ready for bed, and if I would dare to cuddle, he would make up some excuse or just say no. It has gotten to the point where he doesn’t even kiss me when he comes home from work. If I am lucky, I would get a nod or a wave. That’s about it.
Wanting Quality Time
There is no such thing as date night anymore, and quality time together is non existent. Quality time is spent with the children, which I am okay with obviously but sometimes I want my husband to want me. I am no longer a wife to him, I am more like a roommate, or worse, a burden.
It’s sad that when my children watch the television and see a couple being affectionate to one another, or even sweet for that matter, they always ask why they don’t see their Mother and Father act like that. They have even asked if I love my husband and if he loves me.
Needing A Change
Every time my children ask if their father loves me, besides being so upset that they even realize any tension in the house, I also get upset because is it that obvious? Is it not just me anymore that realizes that my husband doesn’t love me anymore? I want to shelter my children from everything possible. I so badly want them to grow up, and want to be just like me or their father. Instead, I have to pray that they don’t turn into us. I want them to know what love is. Unfortunately, my husband doesn’t want to live by example.
The constant feeling of sadness, and having to explain to my children that everything is fine between their father and I when in fact, I have no idea what our status is. All I know is that I love my husband, but he doesn’t love me. I needed something to change, and this change had to happen fast. To my surprise, my husband actually agreed with my feelings and was willing to try to make our marriage work with the help of marital counseling. Together, we did Mort Fertel’s Marriage Fitness program. Through this program, we were able to learn how to love each other again, and to learn how to be on the same page in our marriage. Our marriage is not perfect, but at least we both recognize the importance of our marriage.