Marriage Counseling in Phoenix, Arizona
My husband and I have been through the process of finding marriage counseling in Phoenix, Arizona and I appreciated the invitation to be a guest blogger here. This opportunity allows me to talk about how Marriage Fitness has helped us and I hope to encourage other couples going through problems in their marriages.
My name is Angie and my husband Ian and I have a six year old daughter and have been married for almost eight years. Last year, I told my husband that I wanted a divorce.
I had already told my husband I wasn’t interested when he talked about getting marriage counseling. Phoenix, Arizona is a big city, but it’s also a small town in a lot of ways. I was concerned about what our friends would say. I don’t know why that seemed worse than everyone knowing we were getting divorced, but I had a real problem with it. I think I was also pretty sure that divorce was what I wanted.
Two Very Different People
My husband is a great father and in most ways is also a very good husband. He’s never been abusive or unkind and has always worked hard to provide for us. However, he was raised in a very distant family that didn’t show much affection or give much praise. They’re just very uptight and cold in most respects. I’d always known that Ian was a little reserved, but when we were dating and even when we were first married, it didn’t seem to be a problem.
After our daughter was born, though, I started feeling very unappreciated and taken for granted. I don’t think I wanted romance so much as I wanted affection and more outward emotion from my husband. As the years went on, I felt like I was with the wrong man and I resented Ian for that. Our sex life eventually died out to nothing and he started resenting me, too.
I finally agreed to try a marriage counseling alternative, on a trial basis, before moving out or filing for divorce. I did it partly because I was scared of my decision, but I was also swayed by the fact that Ian was trying to save our marriage, so he must have loved me, or at least loved our family.
A Variety of Options for Getting Help
I had no intention of asking friends if they knew a marriage counseling system and I wanted to choose what we used, so Ian allowed me to try to find something I liked on my own. It sounds kind of cold, but I Googled counselors. I just did a search for marriage counseling in Phoenix, Arizona and went from there.
We’re Still Learning, but We’re Learning Together
Even though I had to be talked into the counseling, I quickly became glad that I’d agreed. We didn’t get “fixed” overnight; in fact, we’re still actively engaged with the system about twice a month. But the counseling system helped me to explain my feelings of neglect to my husband and helped him to see why I felt that way.
We learned to reinterpret each other and are still learning. Ian is still a pretty reserved guy, but he makes a conscious effort to show the love that I now know he really does feel. I’m still learning how to tell him when I need a hug or a little affirmation and I’m also getting better at seeing his acts of love for what they are, rather than what they are not.
If you’re going through similar problems, I would really encourage you to think about Marriage Fitness as your marriage counseling alternative. Phoenix, Arizona has a lot of different options to suit different couples and problems. I may have dragged my heels before beginning, but my family and I are very glad that I did.