My name is Marisa and my husband is a narcissist.
From the moment I met him, Simon was a confident guy, but it seems like things have taken a turn for the worse recently.
I think a lot of little things led to this point, but it seems like he isn’t the man I married anymore.
I needed to figure out why he changed the way he did and what I could do to get my husband back.
If you’re in a similar situation and you find yourself saying “my husband is a narcissist”, then keep reading to learn what I did to try and save my marriage. Hopefully my story can help put you on the right path.
Simon Was Always the Kind of Guy Who Had a Lot of Confidence in What He Did
It was one of the things that I found attractive about him when we first met. He felt like he could take on any challenge, and he usually did.
Sure, he’d get upset the few times he couldn’t pull something off, but who doesn’t?
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He was driven and that was something I always looked for in a man.
What I didn’t realize was that this was just a small part of what would ultimately become a much bigger problem in our relationship.
Not long after we got married, Simon got a new job working as a commissioned salesman. He was making good money and it didn’t take long at all for him to move through the ranks, but he started to change.
He was constantly pushing himself to do better than before; it was all he would talk about at times. When he didn’t, he would blame “idiot clients”, or say that the people he worked with were trying to sabotage his success since he was still fairly new there.
I slowly began to realize that my husband is a narcissist when every bad thing that happened to him was anyone’s fault but his.
But how do I know if my husband is narcissistic for sure? How do I deal with him if he is? Was this just the first of many signs of a troubled marriage?
I Did Nothing and Things Only Got Worse
At first, I let things stay as they were because I figured Simon was just blowing off some steam. I knew that was a mistake when his situation at work improved but his behavior did not.
He made more sales, brought home more money, and got the recognition that comes with all of that. What used to be frustration with others turned into arrogance in himself.
We would talk and it seemed like he would make the conversation about himself no matter what we happened to be discussing.
When I brought it up, he would dismiss my concerns and say I was worrying about nothing important.
I truly realized that my husband is a narcissist when we would have friends over and, once the topic of careers inevitably came up, Simon would one up anything that anyone else had to say.
I brought it up with him and told him how rude I thought he was being, but he dismissed me again.
I wasn’t going to let this get worse. I wasn’t going to let my husband think his behavior was acceptable.
When I told him that he couldn’t just dismiss me like that, it led to a huge argument.
For days after that, the atmosphere in the house was extremely tense. When I tried talking to him, I felt like he was this close to flying into another rage. It eventually got to the point where even a small thing like a chore not being done was automatically my fault and something to be berated over.
I couldn’t take it anymore. My husband is a narcissist and it’s causing us to grow apart. I knew I had to do something to keep us together and make Simon see how his behavior was affecting our relationship.
I Needed to Figure Out Hot to Deal with a Narcissistic Spouse
I knew that if we had gone to traditional marriage counseling, Simon might reject the whole thing and not look at himself when it came to the root of the problem in out marriage.
That’s why I sought out an online alternative to marriage counseling.
Above anything else, this program talking about the importance of communication in marriage and what it meant to keeping us together as a couple. I knew we had to talk, but I had to make Simon see that.
I got him to agree to it and, during our sessions, I was able to make my point about how I feel like my husband is a narcissist and what it does to me. When I told him that the way he was acting was causing me to have thoughts about leaving him, that’s when he listened.
He denied that he was acting the way he was at first, but I think saying that much made something click inside of him.
I knew we had a long road ahead, but at least I was able to get him to listen.
Working at getting our marriage on track is going to take a good bit of work, but with this online alternative to marriage counseling, I don’t think the issue of my husband being a narcissist is one I will have to deal with much longer.
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