My Wife Hates Everything About Me
My name is Mark and until six months ago, I was just another husband sighing and thinking, “My wife hates everything about me!” But then, after 13 years of just dealing with it, my wife and I finally made a change!
I didn’t think my wife, Harriet, and I had a bad marriage. Everything started out great, and then as time passed things quickly changed.
We went from best friends to a bitter married couple. We started to fight incessantly. At least I tried to. Harriet would just ignore me. Turn up the tv. Leave the room. Go outside and smoke.
But now things are different. We talk. We laugh. We have fun! Want to know how we restored the respect in our marriage?
Want to learn where we went wrong and how we got back on track!?
How I Lost Respect in Marriage
Harriet and I got married young. I was 21, and we only dated for 4 months when he proposed. Before I knew it I went from a teenager in high school to a husband. But those were some of our happiest times.
As we got older things began to change.
As my wife worked more and more she began to talk with me less and less. A simple conversation seemed like a burden to her. That’s when I started picking fights just to get a reaction out of her.
Really, I just wanted some attention. A passionate conversion. I didn’t care if it was negative.
As you can guess, this strategy never worked. But I still tried off and on for the last 10 years or so. Eventually my wife started to fight back—but not in the way that I wanted. She became passive aggressive, muttering things under her breath. I just wanted a conversation—any conversation. Now I was thinking, “My wife is mean!”
We both became spiteful, and my wife completely lost respect for me. Now she didn’t want to talk because she didn’t know how I would react. Would I fight with her? Would I be nice to her? Our marriage was spiraling out of control.
We Had Awful Communication Problems in Marriage
And then I found myself being left out of major life decisions. My wife would come home with a new car, and I didn’t even know she was looking.
I felt so unimportant. This isn’t what we signed up for. We got married to share our lives together, not wear a ring and go our separate ways.
This needed to stop. One day I got so heated that I yelled at my wife for over an hour about her lack of respect for me. She stayed quiet and took the whole thing in a sort of daze. Then she said, “I can’t do this anymore. Want to know why we don’t talk? Because I’m afraid I’ll get a response like this.”
If We Wanted to Save Our Marriage We Had to Make A Change
I took her comment to heart. It tore me up inside. What started as a way for me to get a response from my wife, just ended up making her ignore me even more.
We needed help.
One night I went on the Internet and searched for “my wife hates everything about me.” I found an online alternative to marriage counseling and asked my wife if she would participate with me. To my surprise she said yes!
Within a week the program had us talking again. Within a month we stopped fighting as much. Six months later and it’s like we’re that young 19 year old married couple again.
What was the secret? Communication! I learned that as I became more and more frustrated with my wife, she became scared of me. She didn’t want to hear me yelling and screaming. Likewise, she learned that the reason I was becoming frustrated was because I felt disrespected.
As we continued with the online alternative to marriage counseling program, we really began to understand each other for the first time in our marriage. With the understanding came acceptance, tolerance, and a newfound love J.
I Wished We Had Done This Years Ago
I have no doubt that we were on the fast path to divorce before we enrolled in this counseling alternative program. At least it was on my mind.
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