How to Save Your Marriage After Cheating

Posted on November 30, 2011 by mf

How to Save Your Marriage After Cheating

I want to share with you a real “case” and reveal insights to help you in YOUR marriage. It’s called the Dear Mort Report because most cases for me begin with…

Dear Mort,

I’m ready to do as you advise and pick my marriage up out of this mess. But there’s one thing that my husband did about 6 months ago and I just don’t know how to put it behind me. How do I get over the past so I can move on with him to a better future?

Thank you for everything you do.

Jane P.

Dallas, TX

The truth is that a similar letter could have come from just about anyone. Is there any spouse who isn’t trying to get past some hurt?

What about you, are you hurting? Has your spouse neglected you? Rejected you?

Are you struggling to get over the pain of an affair? Do you want to know how to save your marriage after cheating?

If you went through the Marriage Fitness Tele-Boot Camp, the chances are good that you need to put some hurt behind you.

It’s one of the most common questions I get. “Mort, I want to make my marriage work. But how do I get over the past?” or “How do you save your marriage after cheating?” or “What if my husband was emotionally abusive?”

Here’s the key.

The first step is to realize what you’re REALLY trying to accomplish. What does it REALLY mean to get over the past?

You can’t change what happened. There’s no time machine that can send you back to relive the past. What’s done is done.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that you’re stuck with your pain forever. What I’m saying is that you first have to be clear about what you can and cannot change. You CAN get over your past (as I’ll explain). But you can NOT change events that already occurred.

The good news though is that you don’t have to change the past in order to get over it. What you have to change is the MEANING of the past.

Think for a moment. Was there ever a time in your life when something horrible happened and you thought, “Why is this happening to me?” But then a few years later you looked back and you answered that question. In retrospect, you understood why it happened. At first, it seemed like the world was caving in. Later, it wasn’t so bad.

In fact, very often, we eventually realize that bad times are part of a process that leads to something good!

It’s the events that FOLLOW bad times that determine the ultimate meaning of those times. In other words, it’s your future that determines your past; not the other way around. And since YOU are in charge of your future, then YOU determine the meaning of your past.

Imagine…

Imagine you are standing at a construction site. On the billboard is a picture of the project; a magnificent cathedral. But on site they’re digging a hole in the earth. Someone unfamiliar with construction could think that the crew is destroying the previous structure rather than building a new one. But, in fact, digging down is the first step in the process of building up.

It’s the same in your life. There’s a cathedral being constructed inside you. And when you feel that someone just dug a hole in your heart, then you know that construction is underway. But you are the foreman, and it’s your job to complete the project.

It’s interesting to think about this in the context of an age-old question: Do we have free choice or is everything predetermined? The answer is YES. Everything is predetermined AND we have free choice.

It’s like when you play a card game. You get dealt a hand. And you have no control over the cards you get dealt. It’s predetermined.

But you also get to play that hand. You also have free choice.

Ultimately, it’s the COMBINATION of the hand you’re dealt and the way you play it that determines the outcome. And it’s the outcome that shapes your view of the original hand you were dealt.

I don’t know if you are familiar with the Bible, but it’s interesting to note that in Chapter 1 of Genesis, God says, “Let US make man in our image.” Look at that verse again: “Let US make man in our image.” Who is “us?” Who is God talking to? There wasn’t anyone created yet.

The answer is: God is talking to US. He’s talking to me. He’s talking to YOU. And He’s saying that YOU are partners with Him in the creation of your life.

God deals you a hand. There’s nothing you can do to change that. But you get to play that hand. You get to respond to the events of your life. And it’s your response, your actions in the future, which determine the meaning of the events in your past.

So how do you get over the past? You don’t have to get over the past. The past is over! What’s important is the MEANING the past has for you NOW. And the MEANING of your past is determined by your actions in the future.

The people I know who have the best marriages are people who went through hell in their relationship. They “got over” their past because they used it as a catalyst to IMPROVE their situation. In other words, the painful events inspired them to change themselves and their marriage.

If you make the right moves, you will come to view certain events as birth pains that led to a new AND IMPROVED marriage. THAT’S how you “get over” the past. THAT’S how to save your marriage after cheating.

So Jane (remember the letter above) has it backwards. She wants to get over the past before she commits herself to restoring her marriage. But restoring her marriage is what imbues the past with new meaning. You have to build the cathedral FIRST before the hole in the ground makes sense.

Warmest wishes,

Mort Fertel

Author & Founder of Marriage Fitness

For more information on how to save your marriage after cheating, sign up now for FREE.

Posted in Catch Cheating, Free marriage counseling, Marriage counseling, Marriage Infidelity, Save my marriage | Tagged how to save your marriage after cheating, save marriage after affair, save marriage after cheating, save marriage cheating | Comments Off

How Do I Get My Husband to Love Me Again

Posted on November 30, 2011 by mf

How Do I Get My Husband to Love Me Again

I want to share with you a real “case” and reveal insights to help you in YOUR marriage. It’s called the Dear Mort Report because most cases begin with…

Dear Mort,

My marriage is in trouble. I don’t know who my wife is anymore. I feel as though I’m married to a complete stranger. We got married when we were both very young and now she feels like she missed out on the “fun years” of her life, her 20’s. She’s changed the way she looks, dresses, and acts. She goes out nights, probably to clubs with her friends. She’s even choosing her new life over her responsibilities to the kids. She used to be a great mother. Now I worry that the kids will get stranded at soccer practice. She basically doesn’t care about our marriage. She hasn’t filed for divorce or anything, and I’m not sure there’s an affair, but she’s left emotionally and just doing her own thing. Both my friends and family are telling me to move on because our marriage can’t get better. I am completely devastated and not sure what to do. Please help!

John F.

Houston, TX

Remember when you took the vow “through sickness or health, rich or poor, thick or thin?” Remember when you made that iron clad commitment? You meant it, right? But I bet you never dreamed you’d be tested like John describes above. I bet you never dreamed you’d be thinking “How do I get my husband to love me again” or “How do I get my wife to love me again”.

How Do I Get My Husband to Love Me Again

It’s hard to imagine on our wedding day what those vows will mean in the future. How could you know what they’d refer to? How could you know in what context you’d have to fulfill them?

When we made our vows, we were young, inexperienced, and optimistic. And when we imagined what we could imagine, we felt safe making the vows. Who would ever abandon their spouse because they got sick? How could anyone live with themselves if they did that? How could they ever face their family and friends?

But if you’re John in the letter above, (and all of us are to some extent) it’s easy to question those vows. “This is not what I had in mind. If my wife isn’t going to be committed, why should I be? This is not the same person I made those vows to. She changed.”

And I can’t imagine John would face too much embarrassment walking out of his marriage. In fact, his family and friends are probably encouraging him to do so. And you can bet they’re not thinking of themselves as vow breakers. In other words, they would never say that John was breaking his vows.

But is it breaking vows?

Why is sickness or financial hardship any different than a “midlife crisis?” What’s the difference if your spouse loses their job, their health, or their moral compass?

And after you make a promise to someone, does it really matter whether or not they want you to keep the promise. Are you “off the hook” just because they let you off the hook?

Situations like the one John describes above are extremely difficult and painful for everyone involved. Obviously, the John in these stories is suffering and feeling like a victim. Children become collateral damage. And what about John’s wife? I mean really: how do you think she feels about herself when she allows a moment of introspection? She’s failing as a wife, mother, and as an adult. Although her strong desire for certain pleasures and a propensity to rationalize (rational lie) might lead her to continue the same behavior, she knows she’s failing herself and those closest to her. She’s in pain. She’s hurting too.

No one wins during these times. And it’s not uncommon for people to want to break their vows and give up. Not only is it common, but it’s reasonable and often supported by family and friends.

But I want to suggest that being there for your spouse even when they don’t want you there for them is part of what was intended by those wedding day vows. YOU made the vow. It wasn’t just a commitment you made to your spouse; you made it to you and to your God. You’re on the hook. And in many ways, there’s no difference between a medical crisis and a mid life crisis. In fact, we could say that your spouse needs you the most when they’re the most lost.

Situations like John’s are challenging to endure. But do you really think that John’s wife will be clubbing with the girls for the next 30 years? I doubt it. She’ll get over it. It may take time. It could be months, even years. But it’ll pass. And when it does, John has a good chance of getting his wife back and making his family whole again.

I don’t envy John for the months or years that his wife is that lost soul. And I understand that months in that situation feels like eternity. John will need a lot of support to get through it. He’s going to have to work hard on himself and develop his character. He’ll have to find strength he didn’t know he had and endure abuse that’s hard to imagine. But if you knew it would end, if you knew that one day 30 years from now you’d be sitting in a rocking chair with your spouse holding hands reminiscing about that horrible year, and if that horrible year was just that, one of 50 years of a life together, would you do it? Would it be worth it? Would you wait it out?

If our expectation is that we have a long life with our spouse and that they will ALWAYS be “normal,” predictable, and emotionally healthy, we leave ourselves vulnerable to losing our marriage. It’s a long life. Many things change. People change. They go through phases. We should be there for them, through thick and through thin, through it all.

Most people don’t have this type of long term view. Most people facing John’s situation can’t get outside the pain of the moment. We don’t live in a culture that understands patience and tolerance. In our day everything is measured in seconds and you’re more likely to hear “You deserve better. You shouldn’t put up with this. Move on with your life. Stop trying to figure out how to get your husband to love you again and just move on.

But think about it: What would we be moving on to? Is the next person going to be more predictable? Isn’t there always a chance that a person gets off track for a while? And what if it was you who lost yourself for a while? Looking back on that time, how would you feel if your spouse lost faith in you, abandoned you?

Here’s a challenging question

What if your CHILD lost themselves for a while? Let’s say your 15 year old daughter got into (God forbid) drugs or ended up pregnant. Would you say, “I’m not going to put up with this.”

What if your son ended up in a rehab center? Would you abandon him until he got his act together?

It’s quite possible; by the way, that your son or daughter in these situations might NOT want your help. “Just leave me alone. I need my space. I can get through this without you.”

But you wouldn’t comply, I bet. You’d do everything you could to be there for your kid. You’d never give up on them…NEVER!

Why would we treat our spouse any differently? We should almost never give up on them…almost never! And certainly not as quickly as so many people suggest.

If you’re in one of these situations and people who care about you are not supportive of you enduring your circumstances, they by all means ask them to either be supportive on not to speak to you about the situation. These situations are difficult enough; you cannot afford people close to you bringing you down. They mean well, they care about you, but they don’t know what they’re doing and how much damage their causing to your spirits.

I’d like to share with you a personal story.

On my daughter’s 4th birthday she received a gift to grow your very own butterfly. The card showed a magnificent colored Monarch. All you had to do was send away for it.

As you might imagine, my daughter was ecstatic. The anticipation to the big day when the butterfly arrived was mounting. Would it really be red, orange, blue, and green like the picture? It would have to be. And she would make it fly and it would be hers.

The big day arrived. “My butterfly is here, my butterfly is here” rang through our house. We opened the tiny envelope with care only to find what looked like previously chewed tic–tacs (caterpillar eggs). My daughter insisted it must be a mistake because the picture showed a red, orange, blue, and green butterfly and this was definitely NOT that.

There was no explaining the series of developmental stages butterflies go through: egg, larva, pupa, and adult. She just wanted her butterfly and she wanted it now, refusing to have anything to do with the chewed tic-tacs.

My wife decided to mother those microscopic eggs and in 6 days the eggs hatched. To our surprise out came a large, striped tic-tac shaped caterpillar. My wife was ecstatic but our daughter still showed no interest.

Immediately after hatching, the large, striped tic-tac started growing rather fast. In just 2 weeks we were the proud parents of a 2 inch long striped, large tic-tac looking caterpillar. My wife and I were amazed at the metamorphosis and it wasn’t even over.

Tic-Tac shed his skin 5 times during his next stage. A new, larger skin waits under the one that is shed. Then Tic-Tac made a chrysalis (cocoon) with no visible signs to signal the emergence of Tic-Tac the butterfly. My daughter was completely distraught.

Suddenly the chrysalis cracked open and out came the red, orange, blue, green and WHITE butterfly. Finally, “Our butterfly is here, our butterfly is here” rang through our house.

We all are like a four year old wanting, hoping, and dreaming, but usually a marriage goes through many stages when it looks nothing like what was advertised on the box. But those times are stages. It’s not the final form.

I hope everything that comes out of my mouth, off of my computer, and through my office lifts your spirits and is supportive of you while you fulfill your vows. Please let me know how else I can help you, especially if you are struggling with saving your marriage alone. And if you want FREE advice on how to get your husband to love you again, sign up for the emails below.

Mort Fertel

Author & Founder of Marriage Fitness

Posted in Free marriage counseling, Free marriage counseling online, Marriage counseling, Marriage Help | Tagged how do I get my husband to love me again, how do i get my wife to love me again, how to get husband to love me, how to get wife to love me, husband doesn't love me anymore | Comments Off

Save a Marriage After an Affair

Posted on November 30, 2011 by mf

Save a Marriage After an Affair

I want to share with you a real “case” and reveal insights to help you in YOUR marriage. It’s called the Dear Mort Report because most cases for me begin with…

Dear Mort,

John cheated on me last fall. The affair went on for a few months. The whole thing broke my heart. I don’t know how I can ever trust him again. I really want our marriage to work, and John has ended the affair and says he wants it to work too, but I can’t get over what he did. I’m still suspicious, even though deep down I know his affair is over. John does all he can to assure me that it’ll never happen again, but here we are 3 months later and I still can’t believe a word he says. How do we get through this? How can I ever believe him again?

Please help!

Marcy G.

Los Angeles,CA

Ah, the old TRUST issue.

If a marriage has problems, the chances are good that trust has been broken somehow. And yet, trust is a central component for a successful marriage. So how do you restore broken trust? How can Marcy get through this? How do you save a marriage after an affair?

How to Rebuild Trust and Save a Marriage After an Affair

Trust can be broken between people in so many ways. The most common culprits are an affair, hidden addictions (porn sites are the newest problem), lying, and financial secrecy.

But if you look deep into the heart of a distrusting spouse, it goes beyond the usual trust busters. Trust is weakened in a relationship when a spouse is frequently late, unreliable, or insensitive. Hiding a few empty beer cans can damage trust between a husband and wife. It doesn’t take much to shake trust.

But it sure takes a lot to rebuild it!

We live in a microwave world of fast food, express delivery, and speedy-print. And so we figure, if we lost trust in an instant, there must be a way to rebuild it in an instant too. NOT!

Trust is built one small step at a time. There’s no other way. There’s no Herculean event that can deliver instant-trust. In fact, by definition, trust is about CONSISTENCY. That’s what it means to trust someone…to be able to PREDICT their behavior. Predictability is a function of repetition. Repetition comes with TIME.

So there you have it. CONSISTENT, PREDICTABLE behavior over TIME breads trust. So the first thing for Marcy to realize is that 3 months is nothing when it comes to rebuilding trust.

Think about it…

When you trust someone, it means you can RELY on them. But before you can rely on someone, you must depend on them time and again and NOT be disappointed. If you’re disappointed, even once, the trust is broken.

If you were in the Marriage Fitness Tele-Boot Camp, you heard me compare the building of a relationship to the building of a house… both happen one brick at a time. And every brick is significant because it strengthens the foundation of your marriage. The stronger the foundation, the more room you have for error. For example, how damaging is it to ruin one brick when you’re working on the 3^rd floor of a house? It’s no big deal, right? You have a strong foundation, the house is in tact, you clean up the mess, and you build on.

It’s like that in a relationship. If you have a strong foundation, you can make a mistake without ruining everything. It’s no big deal. You can move on.

But trust is DIFFERENT. One mistake kills you. Because trust is about CONSISTENCY.

John may have been faithful to Marcy for years. But all it takes is one affair and all the trust built over the years comes crashing down.

Building trust is NOT analogous to building a house; it’s more like climbing a ladder. You don’t have a foundation to support you. If you slip, you fall all the way to the bottom.

That’s how trust works. It’s unforgiving.

(That doesn’t mean that people are unforgiving. People can forgive instantly. That’s another topic. But even if they forgive instantly, it will take time before they can trust again. Forgiving and trust are related, but they do NOT go hand-in-hand. Forgiveness comes first. Trust lags far behind.)

So if you’re trying to restore trust in your marriage or save your marriage after an affair, and you’re expected home by 6:15PM, don’t walk through the door at 6:19PM. For you,6:19PM might be a matter of 4 minutes and no big deal. But to your spouse it might be about reliability, and you may have just slipped all the way to the bottom. You just broke whatever pattern of consistency you built prior to arriving home late. And now you have to start all over again.

How do you rebuild trust?

You make and keep promises. Make and keep. Make and keep. Make and keep. Over and over again. AND DON’T MISS! Nothing destroys trust faster than making and BREAKING a promise.

To be consistent (to build trust), you need lots of opportunities to come-through. So create them for yourself.

“Honey, I’ll pick up some milk before I come home.” And then do it!

“Honey, I’ll be home at7:15PM.” And then do it!

“I’m going to get you some research on that stock.” And then do it!

“I’ll meet you there at9AM.” And then do it!

“I’ll read it by tomorrow.” And then do it!

“I’ll clean it up before I go to bed.” And then do it!

“I’ll say it differently next time.” And then do it!

“I’ll remember that when your birthday comes around.” And then do it!

“I’ll spend some time with the kids tomorrow.” And then do it!

“I’ll give you a break from your chores next Wednesday when I’m on vacation.” And then do it!

Look for opportunities to make and keep promises. That’s your opportunity to build trust. Like a ladder…climb one rung at a time. It takes time. There’s no short-cut. And you can’t slip. You have to stay focused.

And just to be clear, the little things count big. If trust is about consistency, then it doesn’t matter what you promise. Just promise and come through.

Don’t think that just because trust came crashing down in one dramatic event (an affair or whatever) that you have to reestablish it with one dramatic event too. You can rebuild trust by making and keeping SMALL promises over an extended period of time. This is how John can rebuild the trust he broke. And Marcy can help by asking John to make commitments that he can keep.

That’s how to rebuild trust. That’s not how to save a marriage after an affair.

Here’s how NOT to do it.

First, read another part of Marcy’s letter I omitted from above.

“Mort, the marriage counselor we used to see before we met you suggested “full disclosure.” That means that John has to check-in with me upon my request and I’m allowed to check his emails, cell phone messages, and credit card bills whenever I want. Our counselor said that that would give me peace of mind and she made John agree to give me all his access codes and passwords. What do you think about this approach? Will it help me get to trust?”

This is a terrible idea! And it won’t work. In fact, it’ll be COUNTERproductive.

“Full disclosure” gives you information. But information is unrelated to trust. You could be sitting right next to someone in complete awareness of their whereabouts, but still not trust them. You might not be curious about their whereabouts, but it does not mean you trust them.

Information is more connected to curiosity than trust.

The irony of the advice Marcy received from her counselor is that trust is not about finding comfort through information; it’s about being comfortable when you DON’T have information. That’s what trust is… “I don’t know where you are or what you’re doing, but I know I’m safe.”

Since the absence of information is necessary for trust to blossom, the acquisition of information actually inhibits the process. In other words, the advice from Marcy’s counselor interferes with the goal she’s trying to achieve.

It’s also ridiculous advice from a practical perspective. No matter how hard one tries to know what’s going on in their spouse’s life, there will always be unknowns. Unless you’re going to attach yourself at the hip, you can’t know everything. So from a practical perspective, you’ll never achieve comfort by acquiring information because there’ll always be unknowns that will leave you feeling uncertain.

Acquiring information in an effort to build trust is like trying to make more money in order to be happy. It’s not getting more of it that’s the key; it’s learning to be at peace with LESS.

One final word about how to rebuild trust in your marriage. This is particularly relevant if you’re NOT the one who breached the trust between you. In other words, if you’re Marcy in the story above, listen carefully.

I remember when my son was learning to swim. He would push off from the side of the pool and swim to me. Each time I would back up further to help him develop more strength and confidence.

One day I thought he was doing great, so I moved back from the side of the pool much further than I had ever before. He said, “Daddy, I can’t swim that far. Come closer.”

I responded, “You’ve been swimming beautifully. I think you’re ready to do it. You can do it. Go ahead.”

“You really think so?” he asked.

“I believe with all my heart that you can make it. Go ahead,” I said.

He was a little concerned about the length of the swim, but the more I affirmed my belief in him the more he started to believe in himself. Eventually, he pushed off from the side of the pool and swam all the way to where I was standing.

Sometimes we just need someone to believe in us in order for us to realize the latent potential within us.

We all have the ability to be trustworthy. In the depths of our heart, we want to be a person of integrity. We want to be trusted. But sometimes we have to be given trust first. Sometimes we need for someone to believe in us.

Look into the soul of your spouse. Try to see the seeds of greatness within them.

Give your spouse trust. Even if they don’t deserve it; trust them anyway. Believe in them. Your faith in them will affirm their sense of worth and inspire them to meet your expectations. Believe in your spouse, not in what you see, but in what you don’t see but you know is there.

The great poet Goethe said, “Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is; treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be.”

This is another reason why the “full disclosure” approach is disastrous. You end up treating someone like they can’t be trusted, essentially affirming for them that they are untrustworthy. And you’ll get just what you expect.

But if you treat your spouse as a person of the highest moral standards, they will be inspired to realize the greatness that you see in them.

Keep up the good work.

Warm regards,

Mort Fertel

Author of Marriage Fitness

P.S. Sign up now for more FREE advice on how to save your marriage after an affair.

Posted in Free marriage counseling, How to save a marriage, How to save my marriage, How to save your marriage, Marriage Infidelity, Save my marriage | Tagged after an affair, How to Save Your Marriage After and Affair, save marriage affair, save your marriage, Save Your Marriage After and Affair | Comments Off

My Husband is Emotionally Abusive. What Should I do?

Posted on November 22, 2011 by mf

My Husband is Emotionally Abusive. What Should I do?

When it comes to your emotions, there’s a big difference between being in pain and true suffering. What’s the difference? And how does this relate to your question: My husband is emotionally abusive. What should I do?

Let me illustrate with a story.

There once was a man who was sentenced to 25 years of backbreaking labor. His wrists were tied to the handle of a huge wheel that was inlaid in the wall. His job was to turn the wheel 10 hours a day.

For years, day in and day out, the prisoner would wonder what he was doing with this wheel. What was the meaning of his work? What was on the other side of this wall? Was he grinding grain?

Pulling up water? Moving some sort of conveyer belt?

For 25 years he contemplated the meaning of his work, and for 25 years he spun that wheel. It was grueling, but he survived.

When his sentence was complete he was released from prison. The first thing he did was run to the other side of the wall to see what he had been doing all this time.

What did he see?

Nothing!

There was nothing attached to the wheel. For 25 years, 10 hours a day, he was spinning a wheel for absolutely no purpose. When the man realized his true sentence, he collapsed and died.

The prisoner was able to survive 25 years of backbreaking labor, but when he realized that it was all for nothing, he couldn’t survive for another moment.

So what’s the difference between pain and suffering?

Pain has a purpose.

Suffering is true torture because it has no meaning.

Pain is bearable. Suffering for no reason is devastating.

Ask any woman about child labor. How was it? Would you do it again? Most women will answer: It was painful, but I didn’t suffer. I would do it again.

This is the key to surviving marital problems, including an emotionally abusive husband, and making it through to a new love and peace with your husband.

If you think there’s no purpose to your emotional hurt, you’ll just want out. You’ll run from your kids, your responsibility, your vows…you’ll run from it all just to get relief from an unbearable suffering.

But if you can come to understand why you’re in this emotionally abusive situation, then you’ll succeed to make it through like a woman in child labor.

Why is this happening to you? What are you supposed to be learning from all of this? Can you see how your marital problems are really an opportunity for you and your spouse?

I remember when my wife and I were going through what seemed to be unbearable emotional pain as a result of the loss of our 3 children and our marriage problems. But now I see it all differently. Yes, we were in pain, but we didn’t suffer. And although I might script things differently if I were God, my wife and I now feel a sense of peace and happiness that we wouldn’t trade for anything. Yes, we lost a lot, but we gained each other and forged a marriage that has become a wellspring of joy in our life.

Since those painful times, I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to lead thousands of people who are suffering in their marriage to a new peace and happiness with their spouse. I’ve found a way to do it even with the most difficult and unusual situations.

For all of these people, the beginning of that process was the Marriage Fitness Tele-Boot Camp. And you can read about hundreds of stories in addition to mine on my web site.

Do you need someone to lead you out of your situation?

Let me help you. You don’t have to suffer through this any longer. There’s always a way out. If your husband is emotionally abusive, here’s what you should do. Sign up for my FREE 7 Secrets to Saving Your Marriage. You’ll learn how to stop the emotional abuse in your marriage. This is a much better alternative to marriage counseling.

Posted in Free marriage counseling, Free marriage counseling online, Marriage Abuse | Tagged emotional abuse husband, emotionally abusive husband, husband abusive emotionally, husband emotionally abusive, My husband is emotionally abusive, stop emotional abuse | Comments Off

How Much Does Marriage Counseling Cost?

Posted on November 16, 2011 by mf

How Much Does Marriage Counseling Cost?

Many people have been asking, how much does marriage counseling cost? Below is some FREE marriage counseling advice. You can enter your name and your email address above for more marriage counseling articles like the one below.

Marriage Counseling and the American Flag

Would you believe there’s a lot you can learn about your marriage from the American flag?

There is. Listen up.

Recently, I took my kids to Fort McHenry. You know, that’s where Frances Scott Key wrote the Star Spangled Banner when he saw the flag still raised after a 26 hour bombing by the British.

What really got my attention was the HONOR the tour guide bestowed upon the flag. Let me describe the scene.

There were hundreds of people touring the fort when the guide announced that it was time to lower the flag. He asked the guests to help.

I don’t know if you’ve been to Fort McHenry, but the flag is ENORMOUS. The guide said it was 40 feet long by 30 feet wide. That’s half the size of a basketball court. So when that flag came down, it took all us (a few hundred guests) to stand around the four sides of the flag and hold it off the ground.

Now you might ask: Why can’t the flag touch the ground? Why interrupt a few hundred people touring Fort McHenry so stitched cloth doesn’t touch a well manicured lawn? Why not just let it down, fold it up, and stuff it away?

No way!

You should have heard the tour guide talk about the flag. You would have thought it was a delicate family heirloom.

Not only did the tour guide beg us to be careful that the flag not touch the ground, but he also pleaded for us to be ambassadors for the Star Spangled Banner. He explained that professional singers bastardize the Star Spangled Banner by forgetting words or inserting sounds between words to bring attention to themselves. He felt this was dishonorable to the flag and to the national anthem and that these performers lacked a certain awe or respect that the flag and the anthem were due.

The tour guide went on for 20 minutes explaining EXACTLY how to care for a flag. He also recited every verse of the Star Spangled Banner and talked about the PROPER way to sing it.

The whole time I had 3 questions:

1. Was I going to hell for eating popcorn during the national anthem at the Yankees game?

2. What would this tour guide do to me if I accidentally dropped the flag?

3. Did the tour guide treat his wife as well as he treated the flag and the anthem?

How to Honor Your Spouse

Do you remember when you and your spouse were so CAREFUL with each other? You treated each other like a guide at Fort McHenry treats the American flag and the national anthem. You measured your words and watched your behavior. And then you got careless. Then you started to take each other for granted. That is probably when you started to ask yourself, “Do I need marriage counseling?” and “How much does marriage counseling cost?” What happened?

One of the keys to restoring a marriage is to re-instill FEAR in each other. I don’t mean fear like you fear a robber. I mean fear like you would fear carrying a million dollar antique vase. You wouldn’t want to drop it. You’d be so careful. You’d do everything you could to protect its condition.

How do you bring that consciousness back to a failed marriage? And even if YOU were willing to learn, how do you motivate YOUR SPOUSE to do it too?

Don’t worry about the cost of marriage counseling for now. Sign up for more FREE marriage counseling articles by entering your name and email address above.

Posted in Free marriage counseling, Free marriage counseling online, Free online marriage counseling, Marriage counseling, Marriage counseling online, Online marriage counseling | Tagged cost of marriage counseling, how much does marriage counseling cost, marriage counseling, marriage counseling cost, marriage counseling costs, mort fertel | Comments Off

What To Do About Growing Apart In Marriage

Posted on November 14, 2011 by Mort Fertel

Growing Apart in Marriage: What to Do About It

It’s extremely common for couples to complain that they feel they are growing apart in marriage. Time spent apart is a very healthy component of a strong marriage; feeling apart is not. It’s important to identify that issue, acknowledge its importance and then take steps to change it, before growing apart in marriage leads to the end of the relationship itself.

Hi, my name is Lauren and I’d like to share the lessons I’ve learned in marriage with you.

If you’ve been feeling that you’re growing apart in marriage, it may be better to take the steps below without saying anything, rather than discussing the problem with your spouse.

Many spouses, particularly husbands, tend to be less than excited about anything that smacks of “working on the marriage”. Unless you’ve already had a discussion about the issue, it may be best to try a few steps to correct it without actually discussing it.

Get Interested In Each Other’s Interests…..Again

You may well remember that in the beginning of your relationship, you tried to get interested or maybe did get interested in your spouse’s hobbies and interests. In the throes of love, it just seemed more exciting.

The fact is, showing some interest in or appreciation for your spouse’s hobbies can make them feel more interesting, too. Ask your spouse to teach you how to play tennis or to take you along on the next fishing trip. Invite your spouse to come with you to your spinning class or on your next hike. You never know; you may find a new common ground. As a bonus, you’ll find a way to spend time together.

Spend Time as A Couple Every Week

One of the most common reasons people feel they are growing apart in marriage is that they spend time together as a family, or as parents, but spend little time together as a couple. Having a date night is a great way to get out of that rut, but it isn’t the only way. Try having a cup of coffee in the evening, where anything kid-related is a forbidden topic. Work out together in the morning or go for a walk together. Enjoy a slow dance in the living room after the kids have gone to bed. For people who have been intimately connected, it doesn’t take much to spark that connection again and remind you that you were a couple before you had kids and will be a couple after the kids are grown and gone.

Laugh Together

As simple a thing as laughter may be, it can bring two people together very effectively. The lack of laughter can also be a very small symptom of growing apart in a marriage. Without shared laughter, you may begin to feel that your mate just isn’t that much fun anymore. Laughter has also been medically proven to relieve stress and any couple could use some time relieving stress together. Share some jokes, send each other funny emails and pictures or rent a comedy to watch together on a weekend evening. Better yet, engage your mate in a surprise tickle fight, pillow fight or water balloon war. It may sound silly, but it could be just what you need.

Feeling that you’re growing apart in marriage is a fairly common thing. Lasting love isn’t the same thing as falling in love. Lasting love ebbs and flows and the heart-pounding sensations of falling in love are only the precursor to a calmer, yet more deeply satisfying sense of belonging and partnership.

So, if you want ideas and feel that you’re ready to reach outside of your comfort zone, I urge you to try Marriage Fitness by Mort Fertel.

It’s easy to get started—just fill out the box at the top of the page—you’ll receive the first lesson for free. I’m not afraid to admit my relationship needed it, but I know that we couldn’t have gotten out of our rut in any other way.

Posted in Free marriage counseling, Free marriage counseling online, How to save a marriage, How to save my marriage, How to save your marriage, Marriage counselor, Marriage counselors, Marriage Infidelity, Marriage Problems, Marriage therapy | Tagged cheating affairs, emotional infidelity, how to save a marriage, husband infidelity, infidelity marriage, marital help, marriage advice, marriage and infidelity, marriage counseling, marriage counseling infidelity, marriage counselor, marriage help, marriage max, marriage problems, my marriage needs help | Comments Off

Evaluate Your Marriage

Posted on November 14, 2011 by Mort Fertel

Evaluate Your Marriage: The Five Minute Marriage Check-Up

In this article, you’ll find a quick way to evaluate your marriage. Using this simple system, you can spot these little areas that need attention before they become an issue.

My name is Joan and I struggled with marriage difficulties for a number of years. It wasn’t until I became proactive and exercised my relationship began to blossom.

A happy and healthy marriage is one of the most difficult and rewarding goals we can make. Yet, we often see marriages that flounder simply because small signs of trouble or vulnerability were overlooked until they’d blossomed into serious trouble.

So, keep reading my post to find the Five Minute Marriage Check Up which can help you not only build a stronger marriage, but have more fun, too.

Did you flirt with your mate this week?

Flirting shouldn’t be something you reserve for date night or your first few months of marriage. This question helps you evaluate your marriage’s romance and vitality. Feeling attractive and desirable is an important part of maintaining a healthy marriage and we need to be able to satisfy that need from our spouse, not from other people in our lives, which can lead to serious trouble. If you haven’t flirted with your mate this recently, they’re due for a wink, a little innuendo or a sexy note.

Does your mate feel respected this week?

All of us need to feel that we are not only loved by our spouses, but respected as well. Your mate will benefit greatly by hearing you praise them to friends, your children or your coworkers and they’ll appreciate hearing it directly, too. Telling your husband that he really earned that new promotion or that you love how well he fixes things can go a long way to helping him feel valued. Neglecting that need could leave him looking for love elsewhere.

Did you laugh with your mate this week?

Laughter is not only good medicine; it’s a vitamin boost for any marriage. The power of a good laugh should never be overlooked in a marriage. This question evaluates your marriage’s friendship and comfort level. Good friends laugh together–so do good marriage partners! Share a joke, watch a funny movie or have a good, old fashioned food fight. It’ll do you a world of good.

Have you spent time alone together this week?

Brushing your teeth at the same time doesn’t count. Our schedules have never been busier and we all live demanding lives that ask us to divide our time between work, family responsibilities and other obligations. A lot of attention is given to making sure we have “me” time, but “we” time is just as important. This question can help you evaluate your marriage for the strength of your relationship as a couple, as opposed to co-parents. You don’t have to try to carve out a date night every week, but you do need to spend a few minutes a day, a few hours a month alone, even if it’s just for a quick coffee date, some iced tea on the patio or a browse through your favorite bookstore.

Do you owe your spouse an apology this week?

Unresolved conflict or an unspoken apology, even over tiny issues, can lead to a hidden but growing resentment. Some things are better left unsaid, but “I’m sorry” isn’t one of them. If you never apologized for getting snippy about the electric bill, forgetting about dinner with the in-laws or laughing at your mate’s latest idea, do so now. Saying “I’m sorry” is an investment that pays an unexpectedly high dividend.

Some of these questions and points may seem small, but marriage is made up of a lot more small things than it is big ones and paying attention to them will lead to a strong, healthy and happy marriage.

If you want more ideas about what you can do to understand more about your marriage, then I urge you to give Mort Fertel’s Marriage Fitness a try.

It’s easy to get started (all you have to do is fill out the box at the top of the page) and you’re on your way. You can do it alone or with your partner. Give your relationship a chance and find out what direction your marriage is headed.

Posted in Free marriage counseling, Free marriage counseling online, Free online marriage counseling, How to save a marriage, How to save my marriage, How to save your marriage, Marriage counseling, Marriage counseling online, Marriage counselor, Marriage counselors | Tagged how to save a marriage, infidelity in marriage, marital help, marriage advice, marriage and infidelity, marriage counseling, marriage counseling infidelity, marriage counselor, marriage help, marriage infidelity, marriage max, marriage problems | Comments Off

The Five Most Common Mistakes In Marriage

Posted on November 14, 2011 by Mort Fertel

The Five Most Common Mistakes in Marriage: Learn Them Before You Make Them

All relationships need attention and nurturing to survive and thrive over many years. Your best tool is an awareness of some of the most common mistakes in marriage and the steps you can take to avoid making them. You won’t mistake-proof your marriage, but you will have a smoother transition to married life and a better chance of avoiding serious trouble.

Many couples begin their marriages with high expectations, a great deal of excitement and an awful lot of enthusiasm, and then are disillusioned by problems that they didn’t expect. Falling in love is a heady experience; it’s exciting and fun and overwhelming and can cloud your vision a bit when it comes to the realities of building and maintaining a lifelong relationship.

My name is Jenna I’m glad I can share what I’ve learned during my relationship with this blog post. So, keep reading for the 5 most common mistakes in marriage.

#1 Most Common Mistake in Marriage: Expecting Your Mate to Meet All of Your Needs

Before you fell in love with your mate, you most likely didn’t expect all of your needs to be met by a single person. You had different friends and family members that you turned to for fun, sound advice, quiet companionship or cheerleading.

It’s only when we fall in love that we expect one person to be all things to us. This can lead to quick disappointment and conflict. It’s important that you remember that your mate should be your best friend, but not your only friend and that others may still be better mentors, workout partners or antiquing buddies.

#2 Most Common Mistake in Marriage: Sabotaging Trust

Trust is the foundation of a solid, lasting marriage. Love may have brought you together, but without trust it will quickly wither and die. Be very careful of undermining your mate’s trust even in the smallest ways. Hiding store receipts, telling small lies and casual flirting may not seem like major issues, but a tiny crack in the foundation of trust can quickly become a huge fissure. Be open and honest about small things and your mate won’t doubt you when it comes to the biggies.

#3 Most Common Mistake in Marriage: Breaching the Privacy of Your Marriage

In the beginning of your marriage, you’ll likely become very predictable to your friends, family and coworkers, who’ll become used to you gushing with praise over your mate’s thoughtfulness, charm and other wonderful attributes. This is all well and good, but be wary of sharing things that may be too private for your mate’s comfort.

Your sex life, arguments or even your wife’s horrible cooking are no one’s business but yours and your spouse may well feel exposed and betrayed by finding out that your friends know all about it.

#4 Most Common Mistake in Marriage: Throwing Around the Word, “Divorce”

In the beginning of your marriage, even little disappointments and slights can turn into heated arguments as your illusions about “perfection” get dented and bruised. One very common and very damaging mistake is to throw out the idea of divorce when disagreements arise. This often happens when emotions are running high, especially if you haven’t yet gotten good at resolving conflict together. However, once you present divorce as an option, even without really meaning it, it will forever linger as a viable alternative to working things out.

#5 Most Common Mistake In Marriage: Insisting on Being Right

You don’t have to be in a disagreement to make this common mistake. Some of us tend to do this even in a lighthearted discussion about such frivolous topics as the best Chinese food in town or the right way to fold a sweater. Constantly insisting that you’re right, that your opinion is the correct one or that your way is the best way is a quick way to make your spouse feel undervalued and underestimated. If you find yourself in this situation, whether it’s a heated argument or a friendly debate, ask yourself this question, “Would I rather be right or happy?”

Marriage isn’t all work, but it isn’t all play, either. As in everything, balance is key. Knowing what can upset that balance can keep things running more smoothly.

If you want more help keeping your marriage healthy then I urge you to try Marriage Fitness by Mort Fertel. The program helped me realize these mistakes and I know it can do so much for you.

Don’t worry if you’re not sure if it’s right for your relationship—it’s free to get started and can even be done by yourself. All you need to do is fill out the form at the top of the page and you’ll get a free e-course sent straight to you.

I know that I owe my relationship to Marriage Fitness and that’s why I’m confident it’ll work for you too.

Posted in Free marriage counseling online, How to save a marriage, How to save my marriage, How to save your marriage, Marriage Abuse, Marriage counseling, Marriage counseling online, Marriage Help, Marriage Infidelity, Marriage Problems, Online marriage counseling | Tagged emotional infidelity, forgiving infidelity in marriage, how to save a marriage, husband infidelity, infidelity in marriage, marital help, marital problems, marriage advice, marriage counselor, marriage help, marriage max, marriage problems | Comments Off

How To Avoid Drifting Apart In Marriage

Posted on November 14, 2011 by Mort Fertel

Drifting Apart In Marriage: How to Avoid This Common Pitfall

When most couples talk about drifting apart in marriage, they usually mean one of two things:

They don’t seem to have much in common anymore, or
They aren’t spending as much time together as a romantic couple.

My name’s Helen and I’m glad to have been offered the chance to share my thoughts with you. I feel that I’ve gone through a lot during my years of marriage, but I also feel like I’ve learned plenty that I can share with you.

One of the most common complaints heard during any sort of marriage counseling is, “We just seem to have drifted apart.” Like all relationships, marriages are dynamic; they are constantly changing. It’s normal and healthy for the romance level to ebb and flow as you raise children, build your careers and juggle all of the demands of a busy family life. However, while romance may come and go from one week to the next, there should always be a sense of unity and closeness.

If you want to avoid the reality of drifting apart in marriage, keep reading to learn some ways to avoid these two common pitfalls.

Finding, Redefining and Rediscovering Your Common Ground

Many couples say they feel they’re drifting apart in marriage because they just don’t seem to have that much in common anymore. While it’s true that as you grow and change, you may develop interests both of you don’t share.

The fact is that you never did share all of your interests, goals and dreams. The difference is that, in the throes of falling in love, those differences seemed more interesting and exciting than distancing. When couples talk about “having things in common”, they often mean sharing interests and hobbies.

If you feel that the two of you lack enough common interests, then you may need to make an effort to:

investigate each other’s interests and hobbies and/or
discover some new things together.

Invite your spouse to come along on one of your nature hikes or to your favorite museum. Ask your spouse to give you some tennis lessons or if you can join him on one some of his mountain-biking weekends.

Sit down together and talk about some things that each of you have always wanted to try or pursue and check some of them out together. This could be a dance class, camping, jazz music or anything else that interests one or both of you. Part of the thrill of getting to know your mate was discovering and trying new things. Doing it again and again throughout your marriage will add interest and excitement to your relationship.

Chances are that some of these ventures will be one-time deals, but you may find yourselves enjoying some things together that you didn’t think you would. Most importantly, you’ll be spending time together and affirming your continued interest in each other as people.

It Really is All About You

When many couples say they’re drifting apart in marriage, they mean that they seem to have lost touch with their “couplehood”. While it’s important to remember that romance and passion ebb and flow in the strongest of marriages, you should be taking steps to focus on each other as romantic partners, even (and especially) in the midst of raising children and building careers.

Many couples make the mistake of thinking that keeping romance alive means doing romantic things. An evening out, a walk on the beach or a weekend getaway are all wonderful things, but they’re not a practical expectation on a weekly basis. The good news is that romantic activity isn’t the only thing that builds romance. Remember when you first became romantically interested in your mate. How much of it was about romantic things you were doing and how much of it was about little moments together, sharing a laugh, teasing each other, snagging a few quiet minutes alone?

Those moments are what brought you together as a couple and they’re what will keep you together as a couple. In fact, romantic getaways are great, but you need these small, daily moments in order to want a romantic getaway together. Make a point of spending even fifteen minutes out of your day laughing with, playing with and really talking to your mate. Those little moments are still the stuff marriages are made of and are powerful enough to keep you from drifting apart in marriage.

If you find yourself struggling to think of activities for you and your partner, then I urge you to give Marriage Fitness a try. It exercises your relationship and gives you a great opportunity to reconnect with your partner.

If you find yourself uncertain if it’s for you, don’t worry! It’s free to try—all you have to do is fill out the form at the top of the page and you’ll receive “7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage” sent straight to you.

Posted in Free online marriage counseling, How to save a marriage, How to save my marriage, How to save your marriage, Marriage counseling, Marriage counselor, Marriage counselors, Marriage Infidelity, Marriage Problems | Tagged how to save a marriage, husband infidelity, infidelity marriage, marital help, marriage advice, marriage counselor, marriage help, marriage infidelity, marriage max, marriage problems, save marriage infidelity, saving your marriage | Comments Off

My Husband And I Are Growing Apart

Posted on November 14, 2011 by Mort Fertel

My Husband And I Are Growing Apart: How To Pull Your Marriage Back Together

If you’ve found yourself thinking, “My husband and I are growing apart”, you’re probably very concerned that your marriage is in trouble. This isn’t necessarily true, but if you feel this way often or for too long, it could be a sign of trouble.

My name is Judith and I saved my marriage by taking action. Keep reading my post to learn more about how you can do the same for your relationship.

What Marriage Means

No marriage is a static, constant relationship; all marriages are constantly changing, growing and being redefined. At some points, romance and excitement are high and, at others, friendship and partnership are the predominant feelings. This is normal, healthy and to be expected. However, a feeling of closeness and unity should always be present, even when you and your spouse aren’t able to spend much time together or alone as a couple.

In our experience, when a woman says, “My husband and I are growing apart”, she could mean one of several things. Let’s take a look at what the two most common meanings are and what you can do about them if they fit your situation.

My Husband and I Are Growing Apart

Translation: We never seem to talk anymore.

When you and your husband first began your relationship, you probably talked a great deal. Most likely, you had no children and may have been young enough to have few responsibilities.

Also, you were just learning about each other, and had a great deal of interest in each other’s likes, dislikes, dreams and history.

Once that initial discovery period was past, you may have stopped trying to learn about each other. This, and the addition of children and demanding jobs, may have made your conversations more practical and utilitarian than personal and interesting. This is why some couples find themselves turning to friends and coworkers for interesting social interaction and conversation.

It’s important to realize that you’ve both changed and grown a great deal over the course of your marriage, even if you’ve only been married a few years. Taking the time to initiate conversation about your husband’s dreams, hopes, fears and even his daily life will not only help to spark that sense of discovery, it will meet your husband’s need to feel like he’s still interesting to you. More likely than not, he’ll soon be asking you the same questions and seeing you as someone who still has much about her to be discovered.

My Husband and I Are Growing Apart

Translation: We never spend time alone anymore.

Again, in the beginning of your relationship, you and your husband probably spent most of your free time together. However, now that you’re married, with family, work and financial responsibilities, you probably spend much less time alone as a couple. That’s to be expected, but making the time to be alone together is essential and making the most of that time is key.

Even if all you can manage is one date night a month, even for a quick latte, make a commitment to doing so. Stress to your husband that you’re actually still interested in him as a man, not just a husband, father or partner. Don’t make it a serious thing or suggest it as a way to “work on your marriage”, that won’t likely seem very appealing. Make it a matter of fun, interest and relaxation.

Look for small periods of time in each day that are currently being squandered. Give up one sitcom, half an hour of web surfing or one magazine a day to spend that time having a glass of wine on the porch, playing a game of cards or even sneaking a slow dance after the kids have gone to bed. We all think our schedules are full, but most of us are surprised at how much time we waste on things that aren’t very important. Our lives are made rich by small moments that mean a great deal; find ways to create them each day.

If you want to discover more about the secrets for revitalizing your marriage, then I urge you to try Marriage Fitness by Mort Fertel. It’s free—all you have to do is fill out the form on the top of the page—and it’s truly effective.

It helped my marriage and I’m confident it can help you.

Posted in Marriage counseling online, Marriage counselor, Marriage counselors, Marriage Help, Marriage Infidelity, Marriage Problems, Marriage therapy, Save my marriage | Tagged books to save your marriage, cheating affairs, emotional infidelity, how to save a marriage, marital help, marriage advice, marriage counseling infidelity, marriage counselor, marriage help, marriage infidelity, marriage max, my marriage needs help | Comments Off

Signs Of Trouble In Marriage

Posted on November 14, 2011 by Mort Fertel

How to Spot Signs of Trouble in a Marriage

If you’re attentive to your marriage and keep an eye out for some of the common signs of trouble in a marriage, you can take quick action to correct any issues and keep your marriage healthy and vital.

Marriage is not a “set it and forget it” type of undertaking. You can think of marriage in terms similar to a garden; once you’ve prepared the soil and planted your seeds, you need to give your garden daily care and keep an eye out for signs of disease, pests or lack of nourishment. If you’re attentive, you can take action quickly to keep your garden healthy, fruitful and beautiful.

Hi, my name’s April and I’m glad to have the chance to share this blog post with you. I used to learn everything the hard way, but hopefully you’ll take my advice and enjoy a healthier marriage.

I’ve listed some of the most common signs of trouble in a marriage. If you’re feeling that perhaps everything is not as it should be, this list could help you pinpoint where your marriage is lacking and provide a starting place for discussion with your spouse.

Homecoming Isn’t What it Used to Be

If you find yourself putting off or dreading going home, or if you’re not exactly happy when you hear your spouse come in the front door, this could definitely be a sign of trouble. It could be a temporary issue due to an argument or disagreement that’s unresolved or it could be a sign that for whatever reason, you’re happier away from your spouse than you are with them.

Your Spouse is Not Your Go-To Person, or Vice Versa

Early in your relationship, it’s likely that if something good, bad or interesting happened, your spouse was the first person you thought to tell. A change in this reflex is another very common sign of trouble in a marriage.

If you automatically tell your best friend or a relative all of your news first, you may be becoming too separate from your spouse. Likewise, if you start seeing that your spouse’s best friend or workout buddy gets the important news first, there’s a distance growing between you that is affecting your sense of yourselves as partners.

A Lack of Physical Affection

A lack of physical affection is not necessarily the same thing as a lack of sex. Many things can affect your sex life and yet have little to do with how you feel about your spouse or your marriage. However, a lack of touching, hugging, small caresses or handholding can actually be a more serious sign of trouble in a marriage.

Little touches are a natural reflex among people who feel close. A lack of them could be a sign that one or both of you are putting up barriers or running into an unwanted barrier to that feeling of closeness.

Keeping Secrets and Telling Lies

Obviously, keeping very serious secrets and telling lies about major issues is a very big sign of trouble in a marriage. However, little secrets and small lies about small things can be just as telling. If you find yourself instinctively hiding small things (such as a store receipt for a personal purchase or the fact that you had lunch with a friend), this is a sign that you either lack trust in your spouse and their reactions or you’re developing a life that, in even small ways, is too separate from your mate.

If any of these signs ring true in your own marriage, sit down and discuss your thoughts with your spouse. You may also want to look into some form of marriage counseling, even if you don’t feel that your marriage is in serious trouble.

That’s why I urge you to try Marriage Fitness by Mort Fertel. It helped me get my relationship under control and I know it can help you.

Fill out the form at the top of the page to get started—it’s free—and you’ll receive the first lesson sent straight to your inbox.

I hope this post was helpful!

Posted in Free marriage counseling, Free marriage counseling online, Free online marriage counseling, How to save a marriage, How to save my marriage, How to save your marriage, Marriage Abuse, Marriage counselors, Marriage Fitness Mort Fertel Complaints, Marriage Help, Marriage Infidelity, Marriage Problems, Marriage retreat | Tagged forgiving infidelity in marriage, how to save a marriage, husband infidelity, marital help, marital problems, marriage advice, marriage and infidelity, marriage counseling, marriage counseling infidelity, marriage help, marriage max, marriage problems | Comments Off

Marriage Counseling In The District Of Columbia

Posted on October 18, 2011 by Mort Fertel

Marriage Counseling in the District of Columbia

I would love for this blog post to help couples who are struggling in their marriages or thinking about getting marriage counseling in the District of Columbia.

My name is Hannah and I truly appreciate the opportunity to be a guest blogger and share my experiences. My husband Chris and I live in a suburb of Virginia, just outside the District of Columbia and have been married for almost twenty-two years. This time last year, we were positive that we were headed for divorce.

My husband has a very rewarding but stressful job as an attorney in Washington and I am a high school teacher here in Virginia. We have raised two daughters, both of whom are grown and off to college. Our younger daughter left two years ago and this was when we started to have problems. Actually, I should say that this was when we realized how serious our problems were.

Trying to Heal from Infidelity

My husband had had a brief affair six years ago, and we had thought that we’d worked through it. Even though we’d stayed a bit distant, we were still together. One issue we couldn’t ignore once we were alone in the house was that our sex life was almost non-existent.

I decided to look into marriage counseling. The District of Columbia is a stressful area and divorce is very common among our friends and acquaintances. I found that there were tons of options for marriage counseling in the District of Columbia, but I had no idea which was best for us.

Seeking Help on My Own

My husband was extremely hesitant to go to any kind of marriage counseling, as it’s difficult for him to air personal things in front of strangers. But, I knew that we needed help, so I started out going alone.

I couldn’t find a counselor that I felt comfortable with and I started losing hope. I began to feel like it was my fault that things were falling apart and my inability to find help was just a reflection of that. Eventually, however, a Google search introduced me to Marriage Fitness and things began to change.

Using the program, I began to realize that I was fooling myself about how much I had been able to forgive and forget my husband’s affair, even though I knew he truly regretted it. The program helped me recognize certain behaviors and thoughts that not only represented the pain and bitterness I still felt, but also kept us from resuming a normal sex life.

Finally Working Together

After several weeks of hearing me talk about my sessions with the program, my husband decided to try it with me. He could see that I was making a sincere effort and also that my attitude and demeanor toward him were changing.

The first few sessions were a little tense, as my husband needed some time to loosen up and feel comfortable, but being able to do this within our own home made all the difference. His willingness to try this with me showed me that he was still committed to our marriage and that we had a real chance to turn our relationship around.

A Different Perspective

Our counseling sessions focused not only of the aftermath of my husband’s affair, but also the issues and vulnerabilities behind the affair.

It was very sobering to see the things about our marriage that had led to the infidelity-things that both of us had allowed or had done unaware. I think that looking at those issues was a big part of my beginning to truly feel forgiveness, as I took responsibility for the marriage, too, instead of putting it all at my husband’s feet.

Today, we are stronger than we’ve ever been and can truly say that we’re best friends again thanks to Marriage Fitness. We also know that we are better equipped and more knowledgeable than we were before, which we know will make us better able to see any future problems before they get so serious again.

Posted in Catch Cheating, Free marriage counseling, Free marriage counseling online, Free online marriage counseling, How to save my marriage, How to save your marriage, Marriage Abuse, Marriage counseling, Marriage counseling online, Marriage Help, Marriage Infidelity, Marriage Problems, Marriage retreat, Marriage therapy, Online marriage counseling, Save my marriage | Tagged cheating affairs, coping with affairs, how to save a marriage, infidelity marriage, marital help, marriage advice, marriage counselor, save my marriage, saving your marriage | Comments Off

Marriage Counseling In Phoenix, Arizona

Posted on October 18, 2011 by Mort Fertel

Marriage Counseling in Phoenix, Arizona

My husband and I have been through the process of finding marriage counseling in Phoenix, Arizona and I appreciated the invitation to be a guest blogger here. This opportunity allows me to talk about how Marriage Fitness has helped us and I hope to encourage other couples going through problems in their marriages.

My name is Angie and my husband Ian and I have a six year old daughter and have been married for almost eight years. Last year, I told my husband that I wanted a divorce.

I had already told my husband I wasn’t interested when he talked about getting marriage counseling. Phoenix, Arizona is a big city, but it’s also a small town in a lot of ways. I was concerned about what our friends would say. I don’t know why that seemed worse than everyone knowing we were getting divorced, but I had a real problem with it. I think I was also pretty sure that divorce was what I wanted.

Two Very Different People

My husband is a great father and in most ways is also a very good husband. He’s never been abusive or unkind and has always worked hard to provide for us. However, he was raised in a very distant family that didn’t show much affection or give much praise. They’re just very uptight and cold in most respects. I’d always known that Ian was a little reserved, but when we were dating and even when we were first married, it didn’t seem to be a problem.

After our daughter was born, though, I started feeling very unappreciated and taken for granted. I don’t think I wanted romance so much as I wanted affection and more outward emotion from my husband. As the years went on, I felt like I was with the wrong man and I resented Ian for that. Our sex life eventually died out to nothing and he started resenting me, too.

I finally agreed to try a marriage counseling alternative, on a trial basis, before moving out or filing for divorce. I did it partly because I was scared of my decision, but I was also swayed by the fact that Ian was trying to save our marriage, so he must have loved me, or at least loved our family.

A Variety of Options for Getting Help

I had no intention of asking friends if they knew a marriage counseling system and I wanted to choose what we used, so Ian allowed me to try to find something I liked on my own. It sounds kind of cold, but I Googled counselors. I just did a search for marriage counseling in Phoenix, Arizona and went from there.

We’re Still Learning, but We’re Learning Together

Even though I had to be talked into the counseling, I quickly became glad that I’d agreed. We didn’t get “fixed” overnight; in fact, we’re still actively engaged with the system about twice a month. But the counseling system helped me to explain my feelings of neglect to my husband and helped him to see why I felt that way.

We learned to reinterpret each other and are still learning. Ian is still a pretty reserved guy, but he makes a conscious effort to show the love that I now know he really does feel. I’m still learning how to tell him when I need a hug or a little affirmation and I’m also getting better at seeing his acts of love for what they are, rather than what they are not.

If you’re going through similar problems, I would really encourage you to think about Marriage Fitness as your marriage counseling alternative. Phoenix, Arizona has a lot of different options to suit different couples and problems. I may have dragged my heels before beginning, but my family and I are very glad that I did.

Posted in Free marriage counseling, Free marriage counseling online, Free online marriage counseling, How to save a marriage, How to save my marriage, How to save your marriage, Marriage counseling, Marriage counseling online, Marriage counselors, Marriage Help, Marriage Infidelity, Marriage Problems, Marriage therapy, Online marriage counseling, Save my marriage | Tagged cheating affairs, emotional infidelity, how to save a marriage, husband infidelity, marital help, marriage advice, marriage and infidelity, marriage counseling, marriage counselor, marriage problems, save my marriage, saving your marriage | Comments Off

Marriage Counseling In Oakland California

Posted on October 18, 2011 by Mort Fertel

Marriage Counseling in Oakland, California

My name is Rita Borelli and I appreciate the chance to be a guest blogger here and share my personal experience with options for marriage counseling in Oakland, California.

My husband I have been married for almost nine years. Last October, my husband asked for a separation and moved out of our home and into an apartment. We had been having trouble for about a year, but the separation was a complete surprise and a real blow to me.

When he moved out, I suggested that we try going to marriage counseling. Oakland, California has quite a few marriage counselors and family psychologists and I felt all we really needed was some help from a professional.

I Went to Counseling for My Own Peace of Mind

My husband wasn’t at all interested in marriage counseling at first, so I decided to go by myself. My intention was to just get some help dealing with my husband’s leaving.

I asked some friends for suggestions, but ended turning to the web and searching for marriage counseling in Oakland, California. After several phone calls and a couple of appointments, I felt like none of the counselors I found would be able to help me.

Finally, I decided to give Marriage Fitness a try after seeing it on websites, forums, and other places all over the web. I have to admit that at first I was very skeptical.

It Wasn’t What I Expected

I was surprised when the program started to help me concentrate on what had caused my husband to leave than how I was dealing with it. At first, it put me off, but then I really started to look at things objectively, and realized that I was focused on the symptom rather than the cause.

I started to see certain things that were unintentional on my part, but damaging to my marriage. When I talked to my husband about that, he decided to try the program with me on a trial basis. That trial basis lasted six months, even though he ended up coming back home a month after he started going with me.

I’m sure there are a lot of people reading this who are thinking about marriage counseling, in Oakland, California or somewhere else. Even if your spouse doesn’t want to take part in it, I strongly urge you to start it on your own.

I went for help dealing with the end of my marriage, but it ended up saving my marriage instead.

We’re Looking at a Much More Hopeful Future

Marriage Fitness helped us to really look at the subtle signs of trouble we had missed early on, so that we could spot them in the future.

We also learned how to avoid the mistakes we had made before and to understand the perceptions and feelings that had caused us to make those mistakes.

We don’t have a perfect marriage, but we have definitely developed a healthier, happier and stronger marriage. I’ve also noticed that we seem much more like friends than we did before.

Now My Husband is a Believer

A couple of weeks ago, my husband, the man who didn’t believe in marriage counseling, suggested Marriage Fitness to one of his friends from work. I think that says more than anything else I can say.

If you’re having marital problems and your spouse doesn’t want to go to counseling, consider going alone. At the very least, you’ll have someone to talk to. But if your spouse sees you making progress, they just might join you.

Posted in Free marriage counseling, Free marriage counseling online, Free online marriage counseling, How to save a marriage, How to save your marriage, Marriage counseling, Marriage counseling online, Marriage counselor, Marriage counselors, Marriage Help, Marriage Infidelity, Marriage Problems, Marriage therapy, Online marriage counseling, Save my marriage | Tagged how to save a marriage, husband infidelity, marital help, marriage advice, marriage communication, marriage counseling, marriage counselor, marriage help, marriage max, save my marriage, saving your marriage, spouse infidelity | Comments Off

Marriage Counseling in New York, New York

Posted on October 18, 2011 by Mort Fertel

Marriage Counseling in New York, New York

I really appreciate the chance to be a guest blogger on this blog, because I think that our experience with marriage counseling in New York, NY may help other couples going through serious trouble in their marriage. My name is Gina Kraft, and my husband Tom and I live in Brooklyn and have been married for what will be twenty-six years next January. I’ll tell you the story of how we survived our marriage problems.

We Were Strangers Once the Kids Were Gone

Tom and I have been together since high school and have never been with anyone else. Getting married just seemed natural to us and we had a very good, stable life. We’re the proud parents of a son and a daughter who are now off starting families of their own.

When our kids were teenagers, we talked about all of the things we would or could do when the kids were off on their own, but when our daughter (the younger child) left for college three years ago, the reality was very different than what we’d expected.

We didn’t go out on dates or start new hobbies together or travel alone the way we’d talked about. In fact, we rarely did anything together at all. Without the kids there and without kid-stuff to talk about, the house was very quiet.

We talked less and less and after several months, I started to look around for some sort of marriage counseling. New York, NY is full of psychologists and counselors and it was a little intimidating trying to find the best situation for us. I finally just did an internet search for marriage counseling in New York, NY and started calling around.

Marriage Counseling Was Our Last Resort

Finding a counselor by searching the web for marriage counseling in New York, New York probably wasn’t the most efficient way to find help. However, I was desperate for some kind of change and we didn’t know anyone who had been through counseling.

My husband was a little more optimistic that we could fix our problems without a counselor, but he did agree that we could use a little help initially. He understood that I really believed we would end up getting divorced after being together for more than twenty-five years. I’m very grateful that he was willing to work through these difficulties with me, because I think we probably would have ended up ending our marriage.

We Got to Fall in Love All Over Again

We started using Marriage Fitness and much of our learning centered reconnecting to each other and redefining our identity as a couple, rather than as parents with kids. It really helped to have someone outside our marriage help us to really look at our relationship.

I won’t pretend that it was quick and easy, although it certainly wasn’t painful. We did resist ideas and suggestions here and there, and some things seemed pointless or silly to us at first. However, we gradually began to see our marriage for what it could be and to get a fresh look at ourselves and each other. We frequently used the program for over a year and came out of it stronger, happier and more secure in our marriage.

If you’re in a similar situation, please give Marriage Fitness, and your marriage, a chance. Just doing a search for marriage counseling in New York, NY may not be enough for you, although I was fortunate enough to let it bring me here.

Posted in Free marriage counseling, Free marriage counseling online, Free online marriage counseling, How to save a marriage, How to save my marriage, How to save your marriage, Marriage counselor, Marriage counselors, Marriage Help, Marriage Infidelity, Marriage Problems, Marriage therapy, Online marriage counseling, Save my marriage | Tagged cheating affairs, coping with affairs, how to save a marriage, infidelity marriage, marriage counseling, marriage counseling new york, marriage counselor, marriage max, marriage problems, save my marriage, saving your marriage | Comments Off

Marriage Counseling in Chicago, Illinois

Posted on October 18, 2011 by Mort Fertel

Marriage Counseling in Chicago, Illinois

My husband and I recently had a very good experience with our first try at an alternative type of marriage counseling in Chicago, Illinois and I thought that sharing it might help other couples. My name is Andrea Parnell, and I appreciate the opportunity to be a guest blogger.

Our Background

Tom and I have been married for just over twelve years and have two boys, aged ten and seven. We have been very happy for the most part, but started to drift apart a couple of years ago, about the time that our younger son started school. It just seemed like we had gotten so tied up in other things and focused on our schedules and commitments and forgot that we were married.

Every now and then, I would realize how separate I felt from Tom and I would consider marriage counseling. Chicago, Illinois is a very fast-paced, stressful place to live and it just seemed like we had gotten caught up in all the busyness.

Facing Our Problems

Things finally came to a head when my mother passed away last summer. It made me realize how important the people and relationships in our lives really are and how much Tom and I had lost track.

I finally sat down with my husband over coffee one night and told him how I’d been feeling. We had discussed our relationship several times, but I wanted him to know how my mom’s death had made me reevaluate our marriage and the importance of saving it. He was very understanding and agreed with me that we were headed for serious trouble if something didn’t change, but he was lost as to how to change it. That was when we decided to get help.

Finding Help

Neither of us knew anyone who could help us professionally, so we went online and looked up marriage counseling in Chicago, Illinois. We were a little overwhelmed with all of the choices. There are a lot of options for marriage counseling in Chicago, Illinois; from group therapy to one-on-one work with a psychologist.

To be honest, we had to do some trial and error to find an environment that we were comfortable with. We tried a group meeting type of situation, but it really wasn’t the right type of approach for us. Then we tried a counselor that I liked, but my husband didn’t. There was nothing wrong or bad about him, but he intimidated my husband a little. We agreed that we both had to be comfortable in order for counseling to work, so we kept looking.

The Right Solution

We finally decided to try Marriage Fitness and it turned out wonderfully. We found that it not only made Tom comfortable, but matched my goals as well.

The program immediately put us at ease, making us feel like our problem was both very common and very fixable. We felt right away that our marriage had an excellent chance of survival simply because we were seeking help together.

We devoted time to weekly sessions, sometimes together and sometimes separately, for about three months. The program helped us to reconnect to each and rediscover the passion that our relationship had been missing.

It wasn’t long before we were remembering all of the things that had brought us together and all of the reasons we wanted to stay together.

It is now over a year later and we’re happier and stronger than we’ve ever been. Our boys are happier, too, because we spend more time together as a family and they can see us laughing and talking together much more.

If your marriage is going through similar problems, I strongly urge you to not be afraid to look for help from Marriage Fitness. I’m so grateful that we did it before it was too late.

Posted in Free marriage counseling, Free marriage counseling online, Free online marriage counseling, How to save a marriage, How to save my marriage, How to save your marriage, Marriage counseling, Marriage counseling online, Marriage counselors, Marriage Fitness Mort Fertel Complaints, Marriage Help, Marriage Problems, Marriage retreat, Marriage therapy, Online marriage counseling, Save my marriage | Tagged how to save a marriage, infidelity in marriage, marriage help, marriage problems, my marriage needs help | Comments Off

Marriage Counseling Las Vegas

Posted on October 18, 2011 by Mort Fertel

Marriage Counseling in Las Vegas, Nevada

I recently considered marriage counseling in Las Vegas, Nevada, where we’ve lived for the last three years. I appreciate the chance to guest blog here and share my experience for those considering getting marriage counseling, in Las Vegas, Nevada or anywhere else, for that matter.

My name is Dianna, and my husband Rob and I have been married for a little more than eleven years. We have four children, ranging in age from ten to four. We moved to Las Vegas, Nevada from Boulder, Colorado, when my husband was transferred by his company. Our marriage began to get into trouble pretty shortly after moving.

A Hard Place to Keep a Family Strong

I’m not surprised that there are so many local counselors offering marriage counseling. Las Vegas, Nevada is a tough place to try to keep a marriage strong. Although the town is a lot more family-friendly than when we visited here several years ago, it’s still a town built around tourism, nightlife and entertainment.

Not long after moving here, my husband began to stay out late after work, rather than coming home and spending time with the kids and I. He was still his usual kind and good-natured self when he was home, but that wasn’t very often. At first, I suspected that he was getting into gambling or having an affair, but I eventually realized that he was just spending a lot of time entertaining clients who wanted to see Las Vegas. While my husband wasn’t doing anything wrong in and of itself, he was getting caught up in the Las Vegas lifestyle somewhat. At any rate, he wasn’t with his family, who needed him.

Headed for Divorce

I became very resentful and after a year or so, I realized that if we didn’t get some help, we were going to end up losing our family. It took about three months of suggesting, pleading and even some ultimatums, but my husband finally agreed to try an alternative to traditional counseling.

We didn’t have any close friends we could confide in who might suggest where to go for counseling, so I just searched the internet for marriage counseling in Las Vegas, Nevada.

An Eye-Opening Process

To be honest, my goal when we started going was to show my husband how he was ruining our marriage. We did discuss how his nightlife was damaging our relationship and his relationships with the kids, but we quickly started focusing on why Rob was more drawn to clubs and casinos than he was to his own home. That offended and hurt me at first, but it was the issue that we really needed to be focused on.

We continued our sessions for about three months. Even though Rob was resistant to it at first, he was all for it after the first month or so. We both learned a lot about how we had taken each other for granted over the last several years and about how we were so focused on being parents that we forgot to be a couple. The upshot was that we soon began doing things that were engaging and more interesting than being at home. Clients and coworkers gave Rob more validation than I usually did because I took it for granted that he knew how much I loved and respected him.

Everything is Back in Place

Today, we spend a lot more time together as a family and Rob and I put a real effort into spending time together as a couple, even if we just go out for a cup of coffee once a week. Our close call with divorce really helped us get our priorities and our perspectives back in place.

If you are going through similar troubles, I really encourage you to try Marriage Fitness as alternative marriage counseling. Las Vegas, Nevada is a tough place to work through marital problems alone.

Posted in Free marriage counseling, Free marriage counseling online, Free online marriage counseling, How to save a marriage, How to save my marriage, How to save your marriage, Marriage counseling, Marriage counseling online, Marriage counselor, Marriage counselors, Marriage Help, Marriage Problems, Marriage therapy, Online marriage counseling, Save my marriage | Tagged forgiving infidelity in marriage, how to save a marriage, marital help, marriage advice, marriage and infidelity, marriage communication, marriage counseling, marriage help, marriage max, saving your marriage | Comments Off

Sexless Marriage and Divorce: Do They Have to Go Hand in Hand?

Posted on September 2, 2011 by Mort Fertel

Sexual issues in a marriage are one of the most common things cited in the reasons for getting a divorce. However, a sexless marriage and divorce don’t necessarily have to go hand in hand.

Hi, my name is Jan, I am a guest blogger on Mort’s site and I would like to share my experience with you.

Sometimes, sex has slowly dwindled, leaving the couple unsatisfied and yearning for a more vital relationship. In other cases, some underlying issue has caused one partner to withhold sex from the other, leading to deep resentment, bitterness and a desire to get out of the marriage.

If a couple is willing to seek professional help, there may still be hope for their marriage. In fact, many couples who have worked through the issues that led to a sexless marriage have reported that their relationship is even stronger and more fulfilling than ever before. Weathering difficult times, especially as a team, can bring a couple together in a lasting and exciting way.

There are usually two types of situations in which the sexual relationship has left a marriage:

both interest and frequency gradually diminished over time
an event happened to bring a halt to sexual intimacy

Keep reading to find out what you can do for these problems and why it’s important to provide your marriage with the information it needs to survive. Continue reading “Sexless Marriage and Divorce: Do They Have to Go Hand in Hand?” »

Posted in Free marriage counseling, Marriage Abuse, Marriage counseling, Marriage counselor, Marriage Help, Marriage Problems, Marriage therapy, Save my marriage | Tagged how to save a marriage, marital help, marital problem, marriage advice, marriage counseling, marriage counselor, marriage help, marriage max, marriage problems, mort fortel, online marriage counseling, saving your marriage, sexless marriage, sexless marriage and divorce | Comments Off

Seeking Marriage Counseling in Tucson, AZ?

Posted on September 2, 2011 by Mort Fertel

Even the happiest and healthiest of couples may consider marriage counseling at some time or another for a variety of reasons. So, if you’re one of the people thinking about getting marriage counseling in Tucson, AZ, then you need to know that you certainly aren’t alone.

Hi, my name is Laura and I am a guest blogger on Mort’s site. I would like to take some time and share my experience with you. Keep reading to learn more about traditional marriage counseling as well as a proven alternative that may be able to help you.

Continue reading “Seeking Marriage Counseling in Tucson, AZ?” »

Posted in Free marriage counseling, How to save a marriage, How to save my marriage, How to save your marriage, Marriage counseling, Marriage counselor, Marriage Help, Marriage Problems, Marriage retreat, Marriage therapy, Save my marriage | Tagged how to save a marriage, marital help, marital problems, marriage advice, marriage counseling, marriage counseling in tucson az, marriage counselor, marriage help, marriage retreat, mort fortel, online marriage counseling, saving your marriage | Comments Off

Does a Sexless Marriage End in Divorce?

Posted on September 2, 2011 by Mort Fertel

A frequent question I’m asked is, “Does a sexless marriage end in divorce?”

The lack of sex in a marriage is a very common reason for couples to seek a divorce. Many of those divorces might have been avoided with thoughtful counseling that helped the couples identify the reasons behind their sexless marriage.

Hello, my name is Jennifer and I am a guest blogger on Mort’s site. I would like to take some time and share my experience with you.

Sex doesn’t just disappear from a marriage on its own; there are always underlying issues that either quickly or gradually end the healthy sex life a couple once enjoyed. When a sexless marriage ends in divorce, it is usually because those issues weren’t addressed. Continue reading “Does a Sexless Marriage End in Divorce?” »

Posted in How to save a marriage, Marriage counseling, Marriage counselor, Marriage Help, Marriage therapy | Tagged does a sexless marriage end in divorce, how to save a marriage, marital help, marital problems, marriage advice, marriage counseling, marriage counselor, marriage help, marriage problems, sexless marriage | Comments Off

Is There Help for a Sexless Marriage?

Posted on September 2, 2011 by Mort Fertel

It’s unfortunately very common for couples to complain of too little sex in their relationship or even seek help for a sexless marriage. Often, one or both partners fear that there may not be any help for a sexless marriage.

Hello, my name is Sarah and I am a guest blogger on Mort’s site. I would like to take some time to share my experience with you.

The truth is, a healthy sex life can be restored to most marriages, once the couple realizes that it is a problem and agrees to work together to solve it. In fact, many couples report that their marriage becomes stronger than ever after they’ve worked together to regain a sexual relationship.

Keep reading to learn more about what you can do to start restoring the intimacy in your marriage.

What You and Your Partner Are Missing

There are many reasons that couples find themselves in a marriage without intimacy. Most of the time, this is not a situation that has come on suddenly.

Infidelity or another breach of trust can suddenly bring a halt to a healthy sex life. However, usually sex dwindles quite gradually, going almost unnoticed until it becomes a very serious issue. While a healthy sex life is a vital part of marriage, it’s the issues that caused the situation that are most dangerous to the marriage itself.

The reason it’s so important for couples to seek help for a sexless marriage is that there are issues beneath the surface that will continue to erode the marriage, with or without sex. These reasons are so varied that not all of them can be addressed here. However, there are some very common answers found when couples seek counseling or other help for a sexless marriage.

What Couples Have Learned

One of the most frequent issues is unresolved bitterness or hurt. If one or both spouses are harboring resentment or pain, even from an issue that was thought to be resolved, marital sexuality can quickly disappear.

Sometimes the hurt party is consciously or unconsciously “punishing” their partner. This is sometimes intentional, but often the hurt spouse isn’t even aware of the motivation. While apologies and promises have been made or steps have been taken to repair the damage, it’s possible that feelings of hurt, anger or resentment still linger.

Stress and exhaustion are other, connected causes uncovered when couples get help for a sexless marriage. The severe stress of job loss, family illness or death or serious problems with children can often bring a halt to a healthy sex life. However, it’s very common for everyday stress and increasingly hectic schedules to whittle away at a couple’s sex life.

Men frequently become so stressed and overworked by job pressures that they’re too exhausted to want sex. Women become so stressed by trying to balance all of their roles that they’re too distracted and tired to want anything but sleep when it’s time for bed. Even otherwise loving couples eventually find themselves turning to help for their sexless marriage.

In these cases, couples have to work together to reprioritize their time and energy. If they don’t make a conscious effort to make each other and their marriage a higher priority, they’ll often find themselves in not only a marriage without sex, but a loveless one.

Battling Insecurity and Offering Reassurance

Insecurity is another frequent cause behind a sexless marriage. Men need frequent assurance that they are respected, capable, appreciated and admired. When the outside world erodes that confidence and the marriage doesn’t build it up, men often find themselves with less and less urge for sex. In some cases, they seek that boost to their self-esteem elsewhere.

Women need reassurance (from their spouses) that they are sexually attractive and appreciated. Aging, childbirth and having less time to spend caring for their bodies can leave many women feeling extremely insecure about their bodies, their sexuality and their attractiveness to their mates. This insecurity makes it difficult for women to enjoy a healthy sex life.

Couples with insecurity issues can get help with identifying these problems and work together to rebuild each other’s self-esteem and sexual confidence.

While counseling and professional guidance can be crucial, the best help for a sexless marriage is a couple’s commitment to change it for the better.

Taking it Further

If you still find yourself unable to rekindle the passion in your relationship, then you may need to ask for help. Most people have problems asking others for assistance and support with personal issues, but sometimes it’s the best thing you can do.

Everybody needs help at one time or another. More importantly, however, they also need to be ready and willing to embrace a solution when they find it.

Fortunately, you’ve already taken the first step towards repairing your marriage by reading this page. Now, you just need to take things one step further.

I developed an alternative to marriage counseling that has already helped countless couples around the world.

Now, I’m urging you to try the first course. I’m so confident that it’ll be the solution you’re looking for that I’m offering it for free!

To get started, simply scroll to the top of the page and fill out the request form to get the course, “7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage” sent straight to your inbox.

Take the necessary steps forward to fix your marriage.

Posted in Free marriage counseling online, Marriage counseling, Marriage Help, Marriage Problems, Save my marriage | Tagged help for a sexless marriage, help my sexless marriage, how to save a marriage, marital help, marital problems, marriage advice, marriage counseling, marriage counselor, marriage help, mort fortel, my marriage needs help, online marriage counseling, save my marriage, saving your marriage | Comments Off

Complaints about Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel

Posted on September 1, 2011 by marriagefitness

Are there complaints about Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel? I know that’s a strange topic to blog about. But some people are asking, so I thought I would address the question.

The answer is “yes,” I do get some complaints. It’s inevitable. You have to understand that over the past 8 years over 1,000,000 people have used the Marriage Fitness program in one form or another. I don’t know if it’s possible to deal with that many people and not get some complaints. If you check me out with the Better Business Bureau you’ll see that (at the time of this writing) there have been 15 complaints (all of which have been resolved to the satisfaction of the BBB). Let me help you with the math: that’s .0015%, which is about 1 complaint for every 66,000 people.

I hate that there’s even 1 complaint against Marriage Fitness, but I remind myself that 1 in every 66,000 people are nuts. In other words, some people are just angry; no matter what they’re going to take their situation out on someone else. And sometimes I get in the way.

Some of the complaints against me pertain to the refund policy. I don’t know how I can be any clearer about the refund policy. It’s posted on every order page in black and white. And we follow it to the letter. I’m not embarrassed to say that I issue refunds all the time. The program doesn’t work for everyone (the success rate is 90%, but it’s not 100%). When it doesn’t work, and when people meet the refund requirements, we issue a refund. It’s really pretty simple administratively. Frankly, I don’t even get involved. Internally, the policies and procedures are clear and my admin staff follows them.

You know who complains? People who don’t meet the refund requirements and want their money back anyway. And people who are just angry about the failure of their marriage and looking to take it out on anyone who’s in their way. The irony is that when I see how some people deal with my office I can see why their spouse is divorcing them. I wouldn’t want to be married to them either. They’re angry people with serious character flaws. I feel bad for them. But I’m also offended that they would complain online for no other purpose than to try to hurt me, when, in fact, they know they have no legitimate claim; they’re only intent is to try to pressure me, threaten me, to get their way.

There’s a part of me that wants to bow to whatever they want. I don’t want complaints written about me online. Financially, it’s never a big deal. But it’s the principle. It’s not right. And that is a big deal to me. And if I bow, then these people will continue with their unethical ways of dealing with legitimate businesses.

The reason the refund policy is stated so clearly and publicly is so that there can be no misunderstanding or question about who is entitled to a refund and who is not. It would not be professional or ethical for the distribution of refunds to be a matter of judgment or opinion. Nor would it be fair to make exceptions. We administer the refund policy with complete integrity and without exception. That means that the same guidelines apply to everyone

And we never claim to be the final judge. If anyone feels we made a mistake or have not evaluated a situation appropriately, we are always happy to submit to the determination of a neutral third party. We offer to engage in a simple arbitration process conducted by phone and fax and agree to accept the determination of an objective arbitrator.

As you know, disputes sometimes occur between people and between consumers and businesses. Our willingness to submit to arbitration demonstrates that we’re interested in discovering the truth and doing the right thing; not in getting our way. But sometimes what we discover is that this is not the intent of the person complaining. Instead, they just want their way, and their method of getting it is to complain.

So “yes,” of course, there have been some complaints about Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel. But there have been many more accolades and testimonials. Have you seen all the success stories: http://www.marriagemax.com/marriage-tele-testimonials.asp

The Marriage Counseling Blog voted Marriage Fitness the #1 Marriage help program. Click here to see the article: #1 Marriage Help Program

The American Marriage Advocacy Association also ranks Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel #1. Check it out here.

And here’s some other independent review sites that rate Marriage Fitness #1.

http://mortfertelreview.org/

http://www.marriage-guidance.com/

http://yourbestmarriage.com/

The Family Marriage Counseling Directory also reviewed Marriage Fitness. You can read that review here: http://family-marriage-counseling.com/mentalhealth/review-mort-fertel-marriage-fitness-program.htm

Further to my reputation online, I’ve been a featured guest on ABC, NBC, CBS, PBS, and the Fox News Network. I’ve also been a featured expert on scores of talk radio programs. And the Marriage Fitness program appeared in many publications including Family Circle, Ladies Home Journal, Glamour Magazine, Library Journal, Women’s Health, Denver Post, Orlando Sentinel, Baltimore Sun, and Toronto Sun. Now I ask you: How many complaints against Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel could there be if I’ve been featured in the media like this? These places check you out carefully before they invite you on their show. They don’t want to be connected with anything that’s not totally legit. You can find a more extensive list of media appearances here: http://www.marriagemax.com/media_appearances.asp

Are there some complaints? Yes. It’s unavoidable. But the program works and it’s helped thousands of people through their marital crisis situations.

Respectfully,

Mort Fertel

Posted in Marriage Fitness Mort Fertel Complaints | Tagged Complaints Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel, marriage fitness complaints, marriage fitness mort fertel complaints, mort fertel complaints, mort fertel marriage fitness complaints | Comments Off

Is Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel a Scam?

Posted on August 25, 2011 by marriagefitness

I know that’s a strange question for me to post on my web site. But I know there are skeptical people asking “Is Mort Fertel a scam? Is Marriage Fitness a scam?” So I might as well answer the question.

A scam artist is eventually found out. Almost by definition, a scam is a short term phenomena. You can’t take advantage of people continually and not get a reputation. And if you’re a scam artist that reputation will ruin your scam. Over time, there won’t be anyone who isn’t suspicious of you. And you’ll have to move on to a new scam, which is what most scam artists do.

In my case, it’s obvious that the opposite is occurring. For the past 8 years the Marriage Fitness program has helped people save their marriage. And my reputation and the reputation of the success of the program means that more and more people are using the program every year. To be specific, over the past 8 years, over 1 million people have used at least one of my Marriage Fitness services. So far in 2011, consumer use of the program is up over 35% compared to 2010. That growth rate is actually low compared to most of the previous years. And every year a greater percentage of my users come from word of mouth.

When Marriage Fitness first became available, the program was “the little guy,” new on the block, and no one knew much about it. Now, it doesn’t take much Googling to realize that Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel is the premier marriage help program available, the one with the highest success rate, and the most popular one by far.

As you can imagine, I’m terribly insulted when people ask “Is Marriage Fitness a scam?” I know they’re asking because they don’t know me, but it still hurts. I’m not saying that the program is perfect or that it works in every case (the success rate is about 90% not 100%), but a scam would mean that I’m not conducting myself honorably. Anyone who knows me would never suggest such a thing. I pass on money making opportunities all the time because of how they might tarnish my soul. God provides. And I’m very careful to never behave in a way that would jeopardize my relationship with Him.

I know there are some people who have published nasty comments online about me and/or the program. If there’s one thing I learned over the past 8 years, it’s that when you deal with the public, when you deal with over 1,000,000 consumers, you’re going to meet a few people who are impossible to please. Some people are just angry. They want to hurt you. Their mission is to cause trouble. They’re failing in life and they want everyone else to fail too. They’re rare. They’re the few. But when you deal with as many people as I do, they’re impossible to avoid. I feel bad for them. If you read what they write, you can see why their marriage is failing. They’re angry vindictive people who think the world is out to get them. I wouldn’t want to be married to them either. And they obviously didn’t understand what I was teaching in the program. It’s all about character, and character doesn’t discriminate. Their character ruined their relationship with their spouse and it destroyed their relationship with me too.

I admit that when it comes to the question of whether or not Marriage Fitness is a scam, I’m biased. I’m not even close to being objective. So I thought I would refer you to some objective sources that can help you research this question.

The Marriage Counseling Blog is the #1 marriage counseling web site in the world. Just Google “marriage counseling” and they’ll come up #1 (at least they do as of the time of this writing). The Marriage Counseling Blog is relied upon by millions of consumers and professionals worldwide, and has been for almost 10 years. In 2009, the Marriage Counseling Blog voted Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel the best marriage program. You can read the full review here http://themarriagecounselingblog.com/marriage-counseling/mort-fertels-marriage-fitness-best-program-of-2009/.

There are numerous independent review sites, including the American Marriage Advocacy Association, which ranks Marriage Fitness the #1 marriage help program. I encourage you to check them out. Here’s a partial list:

http://mortfertelreview.org/

http://www.marriage-help-review.org/

http://www.marriage-guidance.com/

http://yourbestmarriage.com/

http://sallie1020.hubpages.com/hub/Mort-Fertels-Marriage-Fitness-Scam-Complaints

In addition to my online reputation, I’ve been a featured expert on ABC, NBC, CBS, PBS, and the Fox News Network. I’ve also been a guest on hundreds of talk radio programs. And the program, Marriage Fitness, appeared in many publications including Family Circle, Ladies Home Journal, Glamour Magazine, Library Journal, Women’s Health, Denver Post, Orlando Sentinel, Baltimore Sun, and Toronto Sun. Now I ask you: How could Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel be a scam if I’ve been featured in the media like this? Let me tell you, these places do their homework before they let you come on their show. They’re very careful not to be associated with anything that’s not legitimate. You can find a more extensive list of media appearances here: http://www.marriagemax.com/media_appearances.asp

Lastly, let me do some name dropping. For anyone who knows who Stephen Covey is, then this should settle the question. Marriage Fitness is endorsed by Stephen Covey. Don’t believe me? His endorsement is printed on the back of every copy of the book. You can see it here

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0974448001/qid=1093804318/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/104-7620163-6339145?v=glance&s=books

I could go on, but I’ve addressed the question and I’ve given you some resources to explore on your own. If you have any more questions or if there’s any more information I can offer you to help you answer the question, please don’t hesitate to be in touch.

Respectfully,

Mort Fertel

Posted in Marriage Fitness Mort Fertel Scam | Tagged marriage fitness mort fertel scam, marriage fitness scam, mort fertel marriage fitness scam, mort fertel scam | Comments Off

How to Cure a Sexless Marriage: Is it Possible??

Posted on August 23, 2011 by Mort Fertel

One of the most common reasons for a couple to seek marital counseling is to figure out how to cure a sexless marriage.

The truth is that falling in love is easy; staying in love takes a bit more work. It’s not impossible; it’s just not quite effortless.

Hi, my name is Steven and I am a guest blogger on Mort’s site. I would like to take this opportunity to share my experience with you.

Hopefully, you’ve already eliminated any underlying medical conditions that may be keeping you from enjoying a healthy sex life. If none exist, there are a number of other reasons that sex may be missing from your relationship and a number of solutions to bring it back.

Two of the most common reasons for a sexless marriage are lack of time and lack of communication.

Basically, you can break these two issues down into:

What you need to remove from your marriage, and
What you need to put back in Continue reading “How to Cure a Sexless Marriage: Is it Possible??” »

Posted in Free marriage counseling, Free marriage counseling online, Free online marriage counseling, How to save a marriage, How to save my marriage, How to save your marriage, Marriage counseling | Tagged how to cure a sexless marriage, how to increase intimacy in marriage, marital help, marriage advice, marriage counseling, marriage help, marriage problems, mort fortel, my marriage needs help, saving your marriage | Comments Off

Can Everyday Stress Cause Sex Problems in Marriage?

Posted on August 23, 2011 by Mort Fertel

The answer is a resounding “Yes!” There are as many reasons for sex problems in marriage as there are married couples, but stress has a huge impact on a married couple’s sex life.

Hello, my name is Joanne and I am a guest blogger on Mort’s site. I would like to take this time to share my experience involving stress and sexless marriage with you.

While most people know that severe stress, such as a death in the family, sudden unemployment, or infidelity can cause sex problems in marriage, many people don’t realize that the stress of everyday life is enough to bring a couple’s sex life to its knees.

What You Need to Know

Many studies have shown that Americans are more stressed today than ever before in our history.

Hectic schedules, long commutes, a trembling economy and demanding jobs are just a few of the stressors we face on a daily basis. Add these to the variable stresses that pop in and out of our days, such as unexpected expenses, a fight with a friend, a relative’s illness or a myriad of other things, and you have a level of stress that is unhealthy and yet often goes unacknowledged. Continue reading “Can Everyday Stress Cause Sex Problems in Marriage?” »

Posted in Free marriage counseling, How to save a marriage, How to save my marriage, How to save your marriage, Marriage counseling, Marriage counselor, Marriage counselors, Marriage Help, Marriage Problems | Tagged marital problems, marriage advice, marriage counseling, marriage counselor, marriage help, marriage max, marriage problems, mort fortel, online marriage counseling, saving your marriage, sex problems in marriage | Comments Off

Marriage Without Intimacy: 3 Steps to a Happier Relationship

Posted on August 8, 2011 by Mort Fertel

A marriage without intimacy is not a marriage at all.

If you and your spouse are in a sexless marriage, letting it go on without doing something about it can lead to much more than a continued lack of sex.

Hello, my name is Jackson and I am a guest blogger on Mort’s site. I would like to share my 3 steps to a happier relationship with you. Hopefully it will work for you as it did me.

Without intimacy in your relationship, you run the risk of a divide growing between you and your spouse. One that will be harder to repair the longer it’s allowed to continue.

Whether the root cause behind the lack in intimacy in your marriage is something that you are able to control or not, it’s important that the two of you work through the issue before it really begins to take its toll and cause both of you undue stress and resentment that could fracture the relationship.

On this page, I’ll give you some tips to help you deal with your sexless marriage so that you and your spouse are able to enjoy a renewed sex life.

In figuring out how to fix a marriage without intimacy, it’s important that you and your spouse work together.

Repairing a relationship, whether it’s because of a lack of sex or any other marriage problems, is something that takes effort from both husband and wife, so there are things that each of you can do to make sure you lay down the foundation for a healthy, long lasting relationship. Continue reading “Marriage Without Intimacy: 3 Steps to a Happier Relationship” »

Posted in Free marriage counseling, How to save a marriage, How to save my marriage, How to save your marriage, Marriage counseling, Marriage counseling online, Marriage Help, Marriage Problems, Marriage therapy, Save my marriage | Tagged books to save your marriage, how to save a marriage, marital help, marital problems, marriage advice, marriage communication, marriage counseling, marriage max, marriage problems, marriage without intimacy, mort fortel, online marriage counseling, saving your marriage | Comments Off

Fix a Sexless Marriage

Posted on August 8, 2011 by Mort Fertel

If you’re wondering how to fix a sexless marriage, then you’ve come to the right page.

Hi, my name is Ray and I am a guest blogger on Mort’s site. I would like to share my experience with you so that you can take strides in fixing your sexless marriage right away.

Asking for help is one of the most important parts in the process of figuring out how to fix a sexless marriage, and you’ve already taken the first step. So what do you need to do now?

There is a misconception that the flame of sexual desire only goes out of a marriage after several years. There’s even an accepted belief that the longer a couple is married, the less frequently they’ll have sex.

The truth is, many young couples find themselves having sex less often or not at all. On the other hand, many longstanding marriages have healthy and exciting sex lives.

While in older couples, health problems can often contribute to declining sex, frequently the issues are not physical, but mental and emotional. Good sex has an emotional and mental foundation; so does the lack of it.

Regardless of how long you’ve been married, the lack of a satisfying sexual relationship can be hurtful and quite damaging to your marriage. If you find trying to figure out how to fix a sexless marriage, keep reading to get to the heart of the problem. Continue reading “Fix a Sexless Marriage” »

Posted in Free marriage counseling, How to save a marriage, How to save my marriage, How to save your marriage, Marriage counseling, Marriage counselor, Marriage Help, Marriage Problems, Marriage retreat | Tagged books to save your marriage, fix a sexless marriage, how to save a marriage, marital help, marriage advice, marriage counseling, marriage counselor, marriage help, marriage max, marriage problems | Comments Off

My Wife Insults Me: How to Get Your Wife off Your Back and On Your Side

Posted on August 8, 2011 by Mort Fertel

“My wife insults me with harsh comments…”

If you don’t think this is a problem shared men from all over the world, then you’re wrong.

Hello, my name is Kevin and I am a guest blogger on Mort’s website. I would like to share my experiences and advice on how to get your wife off your back and on your side.

By and large, women are known as the more nurturing of the sexes. They’re considered more gentle, more tactful and more emotionally intuitive than most men.

However, no woman is above making comments that hurt, anger or demean her husband.

If this is a constant problem, your wife may need counseling to deal with anger or resentment that may have nothing at all to do with you. If this is an occasional issue, there’s a lot that the two of you can do to deal with it. Continue reading why your wife might insult you. Continue reading “My Wife Insults Me: How to Get Your Wife off Your Back and On Your Side” »

Posted in Free marriage counseling, How to save a marriage, Marriage Abuse, Marriage counseling, Marriage counselor, Marriage Help, Marriage Problems, Marriage retreat, Save my marriage | Tagged how to save a marriage, marriage counseling, marriage max, marriage problems, my wife insults me | Comments Off

Fighting in Front of the Kids: It’s Never a Fair Fight

Posted on August 8, 2011 by Mort Fertel

All couples argue, including the healthiest and happiest spouses. At one time or another, most of them have caught themselves fighting in front of the kids. However, this can have have consequences far beyond the problem at hand.

Hi, my name is James and I am a guest blogger on Mort’s site. I would like to share with you my experience and advice on why fighting in front of the kids is never a good idea.

Understand, this discussion isn’t about debating which restaurant to visit or where the couch should go. The topic at hand is out and out fighting or a very heated disagreement.

What’s so wrong about fighting in front of the kids? Continue reading “Fighting in Front of the Kids: It’s Never a Fair Fight” »

Posted in How to save a marriage, Marriage counseling, Marriage Help, Marriage Problems, Marriage therapy, Save my marriage | Tagged books to save your marriage, fighting in front of the kids, how to save a marriage, marital help, marriage advice, marriage counseling, marriage help, marriage problems, save my marriage, saving your marriage | Comments Off

“My Husband Insults Me,” She Used to Say…

Posted on August 3, 2011 by Mort Fertel

“It seems like my husband insults me every chance he gets. He’s often joking, but it still hurts…”

This is a classic tale that I hear a number of times from a number of people.

Many men even confess that they suffer from the same problem. “Often, my wife insults me in front of friends and company. It’s not funny to me and it seems to be even more sad for them…”

You may wonder why this kind of action goes unnoticed by your partner, but the truth is that it doesn’t. They know what they’re doing, but they often don’t realize the true effects.

The underlying problem is that they can’t hear the pain or the voice crying out and saying “My husband insults me and I don’t know how much more I can take!”

Hi, my name is Carol and I am a guest blogger on Mort’s site. Keep reading and I’ll tell you a story about a couple that used to have these problems and what you can do to solve your issues. Continue reading ““My Husband Insults Me,” She Used to Say…” »

Posted in Marriage Abuse, Marriage Help, Marriage Problems, Marriage therapy | Tagged books to save your marriage, how to save a marriage, marital help, marital problems, marriage advice, marriage counseling, my husband insults me, my husband makes fun of me | Comments Off

How to Save Your Marriage After Cheating

Here’s the key.

Imagine…

How Do I Get My Husband to Love Me Again

How Do I Get My Husband to Love Me Again

But is it breaking vows?

Here’s a challenging question

I’d like to share with you a personal story.

Save a Marriage After an Affair

How to Rebuild Trust and Save a Marriage After an Affair

Think about it…

How do you rebuild trust?

Here’s how NOT to do it.

My Husband is Emotionally Abusive. What Should I do?

Let me illustrate with a story.

What did he see?

So what’s the difference between pain and suffering?

Do you need someone to lead you out of your situation?

How Much Does Marriage Counseling Cost?

Marriage Counseling and the American Flag

The whole time I had 3 questions:

How to Honor Your Spouse

Growing Apart in Marriage: What to Do About It

Get Interested In Each Other’s Interests…..Again

Spend Time as A Couple Every Week

Laugh Together

Evaluate Your Marriage: The Five Minute Marriage Check-Up

Did you flirt with your mate this week?

Does your mate feel respected this week?

Did you laugh with your mate this week?

Have you spent time alone together this week?

Do you owe your spouse an apology this week?

The Five Most Common Mistakes in Marriage: Learn Them Before You Make Them

#1 Most Common Mistake in Marriage: Expecting Your Mate to Meet All of Your Needs

#2 Most Common Mistake in Marriage: Sabotaging Trust

#3 Most Common Mistake in Marriage: Breaching the Privacy of Your Marriage

#4 Most Common Mistake in Marriage: Throwing Around the Word, “Divorce”

#5 Most Common Mistake In Marriage: Insisting on Being Right

Drifting Apart In Marriage: How to Avoid This Common Pitfall

Finding, Redefining and Rediscovering Your Common Ground

It Really is All About You

My Husband And I Are Growing Apart: How To Pull Your Marriage Back Together

What Marriage Means

My Husband and I Are Growing Apart

Translation: We never seem to talk anymore.

My Husband and I Are Growing Apart

Translation: We never spend time alone anymore.

How to Spot Signs of Trouble in a Marriage

Homecoming Isn’t What it Used to Be

Your Spouse is Not Your Go-To Person, or Vice Versa

A Lack of Physical Affection

Keeping Secrets and Telling Lies

What You and Your Partner Are Missing

What Couples Have Learned

Battling Insecurity and Offering Reassurance

Taking it Further

What You Need to Know

Topics

Archives

Recent Posts

Get FREE Marriage e-Help Immediately

"7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage"