How We Learned to Handle Responsibilities in Marriage
My husband Jeff and I were having a lot of arguments about our responsibilities in marriage. My name is Gina Pruitt and I just recently went through a few months of a marriage program because my husband and I felt that it was becoming a serious problem that actually threatened our marriage.
We knew we needed help to resolve our issues. Seeking advice was the best thing that we could have done and I’m really happy that I was invited to share our story with other couples.
Keep reading and I’ll show you what made us realize we were in trouble and how we handled it.
We Never Actually Decided Our Responsibilities in the Marriage
When we started using the program, the first thing we realized was that we never actually divided up or agreed on the responsibilities in marriage.Our responsibilities just sort of fell into a pattern and that had become the main source of our problems.
My husband has always been really good at managing finances, so after we got married I just sort of felt that since he knew how to handle finances, he should. It never really occurred to me that he might not enjoy being the only one who had to deal with managing the finances. And, since I wasn’t really good at handling bills, he never suggested I share the duties.
What made it worse was that he made some buying decisions I didn’t really agree with and we ended up racking up some debts that created a hardship. All of the things I’ve read about the dangers of marriage and debt are completely true; I was really resentful of the payments and this created a lot of tension.
Finding a Middle Ground Was The Answer for Us
Once the program helped us see that it was important for us to more fairly divide our responsibilities in marriage, we worked on finding a good middle ground. Even though the handling the finances and bill paying were still primarily my husband’s responsibilities, I took charge of organizing all of the paperwork and also took over filing our taxes online, which my husband hated doing.
In return for sharing this role, he agreed that we would have to unanimously agree to any purchase over $200. This one step alone went a long way toward strengthening our marriage and debt is no longer a problem for us.
Now We’re Working Together, Too
One interesting change we didn’t really think about or expect is that we’re actually spending more time together handling our money. My husband is teaching me how to handle finances better and I’m teaching him how to search out the best deals and be patient when buying things.
It probably doesn’t sound like that much fun, but we are actually enjoying learning from each other instead of working against each other.
Marriage Counseling Can Help With Any Marital Problem
Before we had these issues, I always thought of marriage programs as something for couples with problems like infidelity or abuse. Now that we’ve been through a marriage program ourselves, I realize that seeking help is a real solution for couples that are having any kind of trouble in their relationship. I’m sure that if we have different problems in the future, we would both be very quick to suggest going back to our marriage counselor for some sound and practical advice.
If you’re having issues, whether it’s with marital responsibilities or anything else, I would really recommend Marriage Fitness by Mort Fertel. I think it saved us years of resentment and arguing.
So, take the first step (that’s the hardest part) and sign up for the program. You can get started by filling out the form at the top of the screen and you’ll get your first lesson for free. If you don’t like it, find another alternative! But I urge you—do something before it’s too late!
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