The answer is a resounding “Yes!” There are as many reasons for sex problems in marriage as there are married couples, but stress has a huge impact on a married couple’s sex life.
Hello, my name is Joanne and I am a guest blogger on Mort’s site. I would like to take this time to share my experience involving stress and sexless marriage with you.
While most people know that severe stress, such as a death in the family, sudden unemployment, or infidelity can cause sex problems in marriage, many people don’t realize that the stress of everyday life is enough to bring a couple’s sex life to its knees.
What You Need to Know
Many studies have shown that Americans are more stressed today than ever before in our history.
Hectic schedules, long commutes, a trembling economy and demanding jobs are just a few of the stressors we face on a daily basis. Add these to the variable stresses that pop in and out of our days, such as unexpected expenses, a fight with a friend, a relative’s illness or a myriad of other things, and you have a level of stress that is unhealthy and yet often goes unacknowledged.
Like the frog in the pot of water, a stressed adult becomes so used to the stress that he or she doesn’t realize it’s reaching a boiling point.
A great deal of research has gone into the physical, emotional and mental effects of stress in the last several years. While it’s not shocking to anyone that health issues such as high blood pressure and depression are directly related to stress, you may be surprised to know that the common, everyday stress that you call part of normal, modern life may be the reason you’re having sex problems in your marriage.
Men vs. Women: Sex Issues in Marriage
Men who are stressed very often have trouble becoming interested in sex, because they’re too distracted by to-do lists that are full and problems that need solving. If they can find the interest, they’re too exhausted by the stress to pursue that interest. Often, men are unable to maintain an erection or achieve orgasm.
Women’s sexual energy and interest are equally affected by everyday stress. Most women need to be in the “right frame of mind” in order to become aroused. They need to be relaxed in order to be in the mood for sex and the distractions of arguments in front of the kids, an upset boss or even missing an appointment can keep a woman from “getting in the mood”.
Unfortunately, sex problems in marriage become serious when this issue becomes a pattern. After a few weeks of not having sex, it becomes easier to do without it. Those weeks can turn into months very easily. It’s important to identify the issue and take steps to fix it before the marriage itself is in trouble.
What You Need to Know
Many magazines and websites offer lots of advice to couples experiencing sex problems in their marriage that have no known medical cause. Unfortunately, advice like “Take a romantic vacation together” or “Plan a weekly date night” can cause couples to throw their hands up in the air. If you had the time and money for romantic vacations and relaxing evenings out, you probably wouldn’t need anyone’s advice. So what do you do?
First of all, stop thinking about sex. That may sound like an attempt at humor, but while it may be a bit funny, it’s also sound advice. Focusing on the fact that stress has killed your sex life won’t help you to get rid of the stress and bring back the sex. In fact, anxiety about your lack of sexual activity will only compound the problem.
Additionally, lack of sex is a result, not a cause. You need to work on the cause of the problem, which is stress. For just two weeks, forget about the lack of sex and focus on ways to relive the stress that caused it.
During the first week, each of you should find and do one thing each day to help relieve your own stress. This could be anything from yoga to a bubble bath, a phone call to your funniest friend or a run around the neighborhood. There are a million ways to relieve stress; at least a dozen will appeal to you.
Once you’ve lessened your own stress, you can spend the second week helping each other to reduce stress even more. Choose some things you can do together just to relieve some stress. Maybe you can take a martial arts class, watch a comedy DVD, play a game of football in the back yard or get an inexpensive couples massage. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you both enjoy it and you do it together.
This two-week plan will not only help you repair the sex problems in your marriage by reducing stress, it will help by bringing you together to work on the problem. Before you know it, you’ll be rushing the kids to bed again.
Take Control of Your Relationship
Sex issues in marriage are difficult to deal with, but you’ve already taken the most important step. By searching for help and reading this article, you’ve put your foot forward, which is something that most couples struggle to do.
Suffering silently won’t fix sex problems in a relationship—taking action will be what rescues your marriage. I understand this and that’s why I developed a program to help couples like you.
Marriage Fitness is designed for couples interested in an alternative to marriage counseling. Achieving a healthy sex life and working out any other issues you may be experiencing in your marriage is very possible.
The Marriage Fitness program can be done with a partner or alone. All you really need is dedication and commitment towards making things better—which you’ve already shown by coming to this page.
If you find yourself uncertain with what else you can do, then I urge you to try Marriage Fitness.
The first course is free to try; you have no obligations and no hassle if you find it isn’t for you. I’m confident that it will work and provide your marriage the direction it needs, however, and that’s why I’m letting you try it at no cost.
To get started, all you have to do is scroll to the top of the page and fill out the request form and I’ll send you “7 Secrets to Fix Your Marriage.”