When Anger Isn’t Anger: Warning Signs of Verbal Abuse in Marriage

Are you concerned that your spouse’s anger isn’t really anger? Are you wondering how to recognize signs of verbal abuse in marriage?

Verbal and emotional abuse is no less common than physical abuse, but because it leaves no identifiable scars, it is often difficult to detect.

If you are in a relationship with a controlling, jealous or possessive spouse, and you need advice on how to respond, read the post below.

My name is Christine and I am a guest blogger on Mort’s site. In this blog I’ll reveal how to best read the signs of a verbally abusive marriage, and how victims can recover from its devastating effects.

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What is Verbal Abuse?

Verbal abuse is one of the forms of abuse in which language, tone and “mind games” are used to belittle or manipulate the victim.

Recent studies have revealed that about 35 percent of women have been romantically involved with a verbally or emotionally abusive partner, but men are victimized just as frequently

Such behaviors often led to physical abuse.

Examples of Verbal Abuse

The common tactics and symptoms of verbal abuse in marriages include:

  • Name-calling
  • Placing undue blame
  • An overly critical spirit
  • Resentment
  • Slapping negative labels on personal traits or behaviors
  • Responding with ridicule rather than encouragement
  • Threatening physical harm
  • Starting rumors that degrade reputation
  • Angry outbursts
  • Manipulation (“If you love me, you’ll do ____”)
  • Withholding information
  • Limiting access to finances or personal possessions
  • Failing to display affection
  • Refusing to acknowledge their spouse’s feelings
  • Using sarcastic or mocking tones, even if the message itself is positive

The Effects of Verbal Abuse

The effects of such marital abuse are staggering.

Victims often report feelings of:

  • Worthlessness
  • Unattractiveness
  • Depression,
  • Inadequacy
  • Low self-esteem
  • Insecurity
  • High psychological stress
  • Shame

It also has a significant impact on family members, and can have dramatic consequences for children. Kids who witness verbal abuse between their parents often suffer anxiety, a decreased desire for social and cognitive interaction, and emotional distance.

How to Deal with Verbal Abuse

Once you’ve isolated the signs of verbal abuse in marriage, it’s not enough to simply say, “I understand the problem.” You need to actively respond to your abuser, or – if you are the abuser – stop the harmful behavior entirely.

If you’ve endured abuse at the hands of your spouse, you first need to understand that it is NOT YOUR FAULT. Just because your partner says you are worthless, bad, lazy or stupid does NOT make it true.

If the verbal or mental abuse ever escalates to physical abuse, you must leave immediately. Do not endanger yourself by allowing violence to continue.

The best method for dealing with verbal neglect is to realize that it will not go away on its own. You MUST seek professional help.

Take your burdens to someone who is qualified to confront the abuse and end the pattern once and for all.

Not sure where to turn?

Let me introduce you to Marriage Fitness.

Marriage Fitness is an earth-moving, love-instilling program geared towards couples in crisis.

Through collaborative workshops, retreats and classes, you and your spouse will learn techniques for detecting verbal abuse signs in marriage, how to break the cycle, and how to faithfully and lovingly build each other up.

With Marriage Fitness, you will learn tips to:

  • Shatter destructive behaviors
  • Handle daily stressors
  • Live your love
  • Communicate effectively
  • Practice positive habits
  • Forgive the past
  • Support each other

You’ll also discover how to really know when it’s time to leave, and how you can save your marriage alone.

Marriage Fitness has rescued thousands of marriages from the clutches of:

You CAN heal from your wounds, even if it seems utterly hopeless and impossible.

Are you curious? Are you ready to get started? It’s simple!

All you have to do is enter your name and e-mail address in the box above. I will send “7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage,” right to your inbox – absolutely FREE of charge.

Pay attention to the warning signs of verbal abuse in marriage and stop it dead in its tracks today – with Marriage Fitness.

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