How to Spot Signs of Trouble in a Marriage

If you’re attentive to your marriage and keep an eye out for some of the common signs of trouble in a marriage, you can take quick action to correct any issues and keep your marriage healthy and vital.

Marriage is not a “set it and forget it” type of undertaking. You can think of marriage in terms similar to a garden; once you’ve prepared the soil and planted your seeds, you need to give your garden daily care and keep an eye out for signs of disease, pests or lack of nourishment. If you’re attentive, you can take action quickly to keep your garden healthy, fruitful and beautiful.

Hi, my name’s April and I’m glad to have the chance to share this blog post with you. I used to learn everything the hard way, but hopefully you’ll take my advice and enjoy a healthier marriage.

I’ve listed some of the most common signs of trouble in a marriage. If you’re feeling that perhaps everything is not as it should be, this list could help you pinpoint where your marriage is lacking and provide a starting place for discussion with your spouse.

Homecoming Isn’t What it Used to Be

If you find yourself putting off or dreading going home, or if you’re not exactly happy when you hear your spouse come in the front door, this could definitely be a sign of trouble. It could be a temporary issue due to an argument or disagreement that’s unresolved or it could be a sign that for whatever reason, you’re happier away from your spouse than you are with them.

Your Spouse is Not Your Go-To Person, or Vice Versa

Early in your relationship, it’s likely that if something good, bad or interesting happened, your spouse was the first person you thought to tell. A change in this reflex is another very common sign of trouble in a marriage.

If you automatically tell your best friend or a relative all of your news first, you may be becoming too separate from your spouse. Likewise, if you start seeing that your spouse’s best friend or workout buddy gets the important news first, there’s a distance growing between you that is affecting your sense of yourselves as partners.

A Lack of Physical Affection

A lack of physical affection is not necessarily the same thing as a lack of sex. Many things can affect your sex life and yet have little to do with how you feel about your spouse or your marriage. However, a lack of touching, hugging, small caresses or handholding can actually be a more serious sign of trouble in a marriage.

Little touches are a natural reflex among people who feel close. A lack of them could be a sign that one or both of you are putting up barriers or running into an unwanted barrier to that feeling of closeness.

Keeping Secrets and Telling Lies

Obviously, keeping very serious secrets and telling lies about major issues is a very big sign of trouble in a marriage. However, little secrets and small lies about small things can be just as telling. If you find yourself instinctively hiding small things (such as a store receipt for a personal purchase or the fact that you had lunch with a friend), this is a sign that you either lack trust in your spouse and their reactions or you’re developing a life that, in even small ways, is too separate from your mate.

If any of these signs ring true in your own marriage, sit down and discuss your thoughts with your spouse. You may also want to look into some form of marriage counseling, even if you don’t feel that your marriage is in serious trouble.

That’s why I urge you to try Marriage Fitness by Mort Fertel. It helped me get my relationship under control and I know it can help you.

Fill out the form at the top of the page to get started—it’s free—and you’ll receive the first lesson sent straight to your inbox.

I hope this post was helpful!