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Change the Momentum of your
Marriage
by Mort Fertel, author of Marriage Fitness
SECRET 3: GIVE
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You have some changes you'd like to see in your
spouse and your marriage, right? And if I were a
betting man, I'd guess your spouse has some ideas
too!
So what are you waiting for? Are you waiting for
your spouse to make the first move? Are you
waiting to feel love?
Most people think that the FEELING of love comes
BEFORE we express love - and in the beginning of a
relationship, that's what happens. You fall in
love and THEN you do acts of love. Your feelings
inspire your actions.
But mature love asks more of you. To create a
strong LASTING marriage, you first CHOOSE LOVING
ACTIONS. Your feelings will follow.
After all, you don't jog two miles or skip
dessert because you feel healthy. You feel
healthy because you jogged two miles and skipped
dessert. So too, when it comes to your marriage,
YOUR ACTIONS CREATE YOUR FEELINGS!
Last time we talked about the act of talking and
touching. This time we're going to talk about
"giving."
Once upon a time, when you fell in love, it was
easy to give to your spouse, and you probably
enjoyed thinking up new ways to express how you
felt through your giving. Remember surprising
your spouse with something you knew they wanted?
Remember the thoughtful trinket you got?
WITHIN THE NEXT 48 HOURS, give your spouse a
gift. Now here's the key. It can't be just any
gift. Your spouse has to feel YOU in it. You see,
the most important part of a present is that it
embodies the presence of the one who gave it to
you. This is not a matter of money. This takes
time, thought, and energy.
What gift would tickle the soul of your spouse?
What could you buy or make for your spouse that
would show how much of YOU went into the gift?
Don't just buy anything. Make sure it's your
spouse's favorite color, made in their hometown,
or something they mentioned last week.
Stick with this for a minute.
This takes some deep thought, but I guarantee
that if you make a habit of this kind of giving
it will TRANSFORM YOUR MARRIAGE.
What could you give your spouse that would make
them glow and look at you with intense
appreciation? Did they recently mention they
wanted something? What's your spouse's favorite
dessert? Favorite flower? Favorite spot for a
romantic retreat? Favorite sports team (tickets
to a game)? Favorite author (new book)? Favorite
musician (CD or tickets)?
I spent 10 minutes in a private session with a
man exploring what one gift would "light up" his
wife. We figured it out and, in retrospect; he
believes that giving that gift shifted the
momentum of their marriage.
Inside your spouse is a child that wants to be
understood. If your spouse is like most people,
he/she does NOT feel understood - even by you. When
you get the right gift for your spouse, they will
feel UNDERSTOOD, and connected to you, the giver.
When you give someone a gift that says, "I know
you, I understand you," you can "melt" them.
This is one of the things we work on in the
Marriage Fitness Tele-Boot Camp - how to discover
the one gift that will change the momentum of
your marriage. And, how to get your spouse TO
WANT to give that gift TO YOU too.
If you're ready to learn how to transform your
marriage and establish lasting love in your
relationship, join the next Marriage Fitness
Tele-Boot Camp.
It's a 7-week marriage-transforming
program. You can do it alone or with your spouse.
And you don't need to go anywhere. All you need
is a telephone. For more information, go to
http://www.MortFertel.com/tele-boot-camp.asp
If you can't wait for the next boot camp or if
you don't have 7 weeks to turn things around,
then you want
MARRIAGE FITNESS HOME-FLEX
A 9-Phase interactive multi-sensory
relationship-changing self-guided system that
gives you everything you need to transform your
marriage. And the best news is . . . you get it
all tomorrow! For more information or to order,
go to:
http://www.MortFertel.com/home-flex.asp
If you need help with your marriage, at the very
least get yourself the MARRIAGE FITNESS AUDIO
LEARNING PROGRAM. It's a 5 CD starter program
that you'll find to be an invaluable guide to
renewing your marriage. For more info or to
order, go to:
http://www.MortFertel.com/audio-program.asp
It's easy to buy a gift. But
the right gift, given at the right time and in
the right way...that's an art. "Money can't buy you
love." "It's the thought that counts."
In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, "The only
gift is a portion of thyself."
Enjoy the gift of giving. It'll give YOU love.
Warm
regards,
Mort Fertel, Author & Founder of
Marriage Fitness
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SECURE
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