How To Heal Old Wounds In Your
Marriage
Marriage Fitness
by Mort Fertel
Get a glass of
water. Really! Don’t just read on; first get a glass of water.
Got it?
Okay. Now, hold the glass of water in
your hand and pick it up.
Are you holding it up?
Now let me ask you this: How heavy is
the glass of water?
What do you guess it weighs? 1 pound?
2 pounds? Less than a pound?
Keep holding the glass up.
Don’t put it down yet.
What do you think it weighs?
As you continue to hold the glass of
water, you’ll notice that its real weight doesn’t
matter as much as how long you hold it. The longer you hold the glass
of water, the heavier it feels, right?
If you hold the glass of water for
minute, it’s not a problem. It’s not heavy.
But if you hold the glass of water for
an hour, your arm might start to ache. Eventually the glass of water
will feel like a ton of bricks.
The weight of the glass of water is
always the same. But the longer you hold it up, the heavier it gets.
That’s the
way it works in your marriage too. Things are bound to happen between
you and your spouse that will weigh heavy on you and your
spouse’s heart. But the longer you "hold them in," the
heavier the burdens gets.
I can’t tell you how many
times I’ll discover in private sessions that the source of
someone’s anger or bitterness is something that happened 15
YEARS AGO!
"Did you ever discuss what happened
with your spouse," I’ll ask.
"No."
In an effort to make sure I understand
I’ll ask, "You never talked it through? You never processed
with your spouse at all?"
"No."
Rhetorically I’ll ask, "This
has been building up inside you for 15 YEARS and you never said
anything?!"
"That’s right," is the
response.
Do you hear that? It
happened 15 YEARS AGO! And it still plagues them TODAY. In fact, as I
illustrated above, the burden gets worse not better.
But do you know what always amazes me?
The burden gets worse for the person who’s holding it in. But
their spouse forgot about the incident 15 years ago. They’re
clueless that the pain even exists. They would be SHOCKED to learn that
their spouse still remembers what happened no less that it pains them
and remains in their heart.
Do you know
what’s bothering your spouse? Do you know the root of their
frustration? Do you know what they just can’t let go of? And
most importantly, do you know how to draw it out and how to help them
finally heal? This is one of the many topics I’ll cover in
the upcoming Marriage Fitness Tele-Boot Camp.
Most people have something that
continues to bother them, something that happened years ago that they
never let go of, something that they never "moved through" with their
spouse. And there it sits; getting heavier and heavier as the years go
by. Until finally it comes out as, "I’m not happy" or "I want
a divorce" or "I don’t love you anymore."
Old wounds that don’t get
treated aren’t really old; they remain fresh.
They’re still open sores that eat away at your marriage from
the inside without you even knowing it. How do you stop the bleeding?
How do you finally let bygones by bygones and move on in your
relationship in a healthy productive way?
That’s one of the things
I’ll work with you on in the Marriage Fitness Tele-Boot Camp. You don't have to
go anywhere it's a TELE experience and all you need is a telephone. For
details or to register, go to:
http://www.MortFertel.com/tele-boot-camp.asp
If your spouse won't join you, then
sign-up for the Lone Ranger Track, which is designed to help people in
marriages with obstinate spouses. You'll learn to single-handedly
improve your situation, and, most importantly, motivate your spouse to
join you in the process of renewing your marriage.
If you and your spouse want to do the
program together, then register for the Duo Track.
For more info about these tracks or to
register, go to: http://www.MortFertel.com/tele-boot-camp.asp
{!firstname_fix}, the Marriage Fitness
Tele-Boot Camp is a 7-week multi-sensory comprehensive
marriage-transforming experience. The fee is the same whether you
register with your spouse (Duo Track) or without (Lone Ranger Track).
To register or for more info, go to:
http://www.MortFertel.com/tele-boot-camp.asp
If you can't wait until the next boot
camp begins, then you want MARRIAGE FITNESS HOME-FLEX. A 9-Phase
interactive multi-sensory relationship-changing self-guided system that
gives you everything you need to transform your marriage. And you get
it all TOMORROW! For more information or to order, go to: http://www.MortFertel.com/home-flex.asp
At the very least,
if you’re serious about renewing your marriage,
you’ve got to listen to the Audio Learning Program of
Marriage Fitness. This is what thousands of people and couples
worldwide are using as an "audio handbook" to restore their marriage.
To order, go to:
http://www.MortFertel.com/audio-program.asp
Let me know if you
have any questions. I’ll do whatever I can to help you. I
wish you the best.
Great Marriage
Marriage Counseling
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