How To See Your Marriage From A New Perspective

By: Mort Fertel

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Using only ONE LINE, can you make a 6 out of this symbol: IX

I’ll get back to that.

I know you have marriage problems. And your situation probably appears to be very complicated. Maybe it is. But maybe it’s not.

Maybe what’s complicated about your marriage is the way you’re analyzing it. Did you ever find a solution to a problem and realize how simple the problem was to begin with?

This, by the way, is the value of 3rd party input. The value of hiring a consultant, for example, is NOT the information they offer; it’s the PERSPECTIVE they offer. The value is not their solution; it’s that they introduce you to a NEW way of seeing the problem. From there, the solution is easy.

I experience this in private sessions with people all the time. A husband or wife will explain all the intricacies of their marriage and express that they feel trapped. "I just don’t see how we can resolve this. We beat these issues like a dead horse for months. We’re not getting anywhere."

Within minutes I’ll respond, "Did you try approaching it like this..." I do private sessions on the phone, but I can still "see" the light bulb turn on in their head. And in our next session, I’ll learn that the issue was resolved, or that they’re on their way to reconciliation.

Now it’s not always that easy. Sometimes problems are complicated. But usually the way we see our problem makes it more complicated than it needs to be when in fact an easier solution is just on the other side of a new perspective.

Let’s get back to using only ONE LINE and making a 6 out of this symbol: IX

Did you try it? Did you get it? If you didn’t get in the first few moments, then you probably won’t get it. Why not?

Because from the moment you tried to solve the problem, you established a paradigm, a way of looking at the problem. If you adopted the right paradigm, then you solved the problem within minutes. It was easy.

But if you adopted the wrong paradigm, then no amount of analysis or figuring will lead you to the answer.

In other words, if you’re looking at the problem wrong, you’re doomed to fail. If you see it correctly, it’s a piece of cake.

You see, making a 6 out of the symbol "IX" using only one line is easy. You just go like this: SIX.

Sometimes people fail in their marriage not because of any lack of effort, analysis, or care. Sometimes people fail because they’re locked in the wrong paradigm.

If you’re not seeing your marriage or your spouse in the proper light, then you won’t succeed. And no amount of effort will change that. The only thing that will get you different results is a DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE. Once you adopt the right perspective, fixing your marriage can be as easy as placing an "S" in front of "IX" to make "SIX."

Mort Fertel

Author & Founder of Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel

Marriage Perspective

Marriage Counseling > Marriage Perspective

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