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Below is a sample marriage help article for solving marriage problems and saving your marriage without a  marriage counselor.  For more marital help sign up in the box above. 


 
 

Just Say YES

 

First, I want to tell you that for us Secret

Lover's Week (last week's assignment) was

AMAZING. We had the best time. All week long

there were love notes all over the house from one

person to another. And everyone was trying to

figure out who their secret lover was while the

secret lovers were trying to disguise their

handwriting. Adults were spelling like children

and children were typing notes to look like it

was made by adults. Finally, on Friday night, we

announced who all the secret lovers were. What a

hit! I hope it was for you too.

 

Now on to this week's assignment.

 

This assignment was inspired by a small comment

my 6 year old son made to me yesterday.

 

Each year, I take each of my children on a short

2 day 1 night trip. It's a chance for me to get

quality 1-on-1 time with each of them away from

the family dynamics. They don't have to compete

for my attention. There are no siblings vying for

my time, no appointments, no teleconferences, no

meetings, I'm not working to solve people's marriage problems;

they get 2 days of my undivided attention.

 

On our way home traveling south on I95, my son

said to me, "Daddy, you said YES to everything on

this trip. Thank you."

 

I realized how often I have to say "no" to him

during a normal day.

 

It's not unusual for my kids to ask me in the

middle of a work day, "Daddy, will you play ball

with me? Daddy, will you read me a story? Daddy,

can you help me with this? Daddy, can you help me

with that?"

 

I'm not a stay at home dad. More often than not,

the answer to these questions is "No." I can't. I

have a schedule. I have commitments. I have to

write monthly Dear Mort Reports and about a

billion other responsibilities.

 

Don't get me wrong, I spend time with my kids

everyday. We have dinner together every night.

But when you have three 6 year olds and a 10 year

old, dinner plus an hour or two is not nearly

enough time to be able to say "Yes" to all their

requests. I find that I just have to say "No" a

lot. It's hard.

 

That's one of my goals on these 2 day private

trips with each kid: to say YES.

 

"Daddy, can we go to the exercise room?"

 

"Sure. Let's do it."

 

"Daddy, can I show you how I can read?"

 

"Absolutely."

"Daddy, can you not work on solving marriage problems

today?"

"Okay, no marriage problems work today."

 

"Daddy, can I get a souvenir (we went to the

United States Mint in Philadelphia)?"

 

"You can. What do you want? I'll buy it for you."

 

"Daddy, will you snuggle with me in bed tonight?"

 

"You bet. I got us a room with one king bed

only."

 

You know kids...the requests just keep coming. And

for 2 days I just kept saying "Yes."

 

A typical spouse is not as demanding as a 6 year

old child; however, we have to say "No" to our

spouse sometimes too.

 

"Honey, can you fix my computer?"

 

"I can't do that tonight. I have a teleconference

tomorrow night but maybe I can look at it

Wednesday night."

 

"Honey, can you pick the kids up at the Smith's

at 3pm?"

 

"Sorry, I'll be in session."

 

How about a day of YES for your spouse? Your

assignment this week is to pick 1 day this week

and say YES all day long. Say YES to your kids,

but especially say YES to your spouse. You might

also consider sharing with your spouse that today

is YESday. That way, you'll get more requests.

 

"Can we go out for dinner tonight?"

 

"Sure. Where do you want to go?"

 

"Can you get me a drink from the frig?"

 

"Yes. What would you like?"

 

At the end of your YESday, maybe you'll hear from

your spouse, "Honey, you said YES to everything

today. Thank you."

 

Warm regards,

 

Mort Fertel

Author & Founder of Marriage Fitness
Your Marriage Problems Solution Man

Marriage Fitness is an alternative to marriage counselors with an international stop divorce and save marriage reputation for solving marriage problems.

 


 

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