Your Marriage The Miracle Of The
Chinese Bamboo Tree
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Do you know what
happens after you plant the seed of a Chinese Bamboo Tree? Nothing.
That’s right. Absolutely nothing. For 4 years after planting
the seed of this tree you get no satisfaction other than a tiny shoot
coming out of a bulb. Must be something wrong, right? A still birth or
stunted growth. A bad seed maybe.
If you didn’t know about the
growth patterns for this tree, you’d think that all your
efforts to plant and cultivate were useless.
But, in fact, what’s
happening all the time is that underneath the ground there’s
a massive root structure that’s forming. You can’t
see it, but it’s there and it’s HUGE. Then, if the
5th year, the Chinese Bamboo Tree grows and grows and grows, sometimes
up to EIGHTY FEET tall!
Marriages sometimes grow like Chinese
Bamboo Trees. You try and try doing kindnesses, giving gifts, being
gentle, sharing a joke, but sometimes it takes months even years before
you SEE the growth. But all the while you’re making deposits
into a secret account that all of a sudden (that’s the way it
seems, but, in fact, my point is that it’s not all of sudden)
begins paying dividends.
It takes maturity to be patient. And
it takes maturity to be willing to give your spouse the time they need
to grow and to see that time as an opportunity for you to grow too.
I’ve been having private
sessions with a woman who has been asking her husband to join her at
the dinner table for SIX MONTHS. And for 6 months he’s been
rejecting her as he takes his dinner into the family room to eat in
front of the TV. He was punishing her. He was angry.
For 6 months she took it. Everyday for
6 months she asked him to come to dinner and everyday he said "No."
One day, unannounced, and for no
apparent reason, he said to her while she was fixing dinner in the
kitchen, "Can I join you at the table tonight?"
"Yes," she said, and turned away to
wipe her tears.
Did she deserve 6 months of the silent
treatment? No one does no matter what the reason. But don’t
let anyone tell you to give up. It’s NEVER too late. Things
change. People change.
The question is: 1) How do I learn to
be patient? 2) What EXACTLY can I do in my marriage that will build
that root structure and lead to a BREAKTHROUGH with my spouse?
I’ll be
answering those 2 questions in depth as well as offering literally
hundreds of other practices and principles in the next Marriage Fitness
Tele Boot Camp, which begins Monday. If
you’re serious about saving and restoring your marriage,
there’s no reason NOT to do this program. It’s gtd, convenient (you don’t have to go
anywhere - all you need is a telephone), and it’s proven to
work. And if your spouse won’t do it with you,
don’t worry about it, there’s a LONE RANGER TRACK
designed specifically for you that’ll teach you how to single
handedly change your situation AND motivate your spouse to join you in
the marriage renewal process. For details or to register, go to http://www.MortFertel.com/tele-boot-camp.asp
If you can’t wait until the
next boot camp begins or if you don’t have 7 weeks to turn
things around, then order... MARRIAGE FITNESS HOME-FLEX A 9-Phase
interactive multi-sensory relationship-changing self-guided system that
gives you everything you need to transform your marriage. And the best
news is . . . you get it all tomorrow! For more information or to
order, go to:
http://www.MortFertel.com/home-flex.asp
If you need help with your marriage,
at the very least get yourself the MARRIAGE FITNESS AUDIO LEARNING
PROGRAM. It’s a 5 CD audio listening program that
you’ll find to be an invaluable guide to renewing your
marriage. If you don’t have it, then you can’t be
serious about fixing your situation. For more info or to order, go to:
http://www.MortFertel.com/audio-program.asp
Lastly, if you prefer to use someone
else, feel free to ask me and I’d be happy to refer you to
other competent resources.
Don’t you
dare give up. Be patient. Be a light; not a judge. And in the meantime,
remember the miracle of the Chinese Bamboo Tree.
Marriage Survive
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