Being
Healthy Together
As you know, one of the keys to a successful
marriage is moving from ME to WE. In part, that
means SHARING.
You know what's HEALTHY for couples to share? A
diet.
When I say "diet," I don't necessarily mean
losing weight. It could be that you (or your
spouse) have to go on a diet to gain weight.
Body weight is not only important for your
health; it's also important for your marriage.
Body weight affects your sex drive and self
esteem, both of which have an enormous impact on
your relationship with your spouse.
Bobby and Nikole Lee from Albion, MI lost a
combined 225 pounds over the past 2 years.
For them it was "save
marriage" work. Now
that's moving from ME to WE. That's sharing a
common purpose. It's all good: good for their
health, good for their marriage, good for their
self esteem, good for their sex life, etc.
One study revealed that people who lost 12% of
their body weight felt more sexually attractive
and had a higher sex drive. Another survey showed
that 38% of men said the reason for their lack of
interest in their wife sexually was that she had
gained a significant amount of weight.
 America is generally an
unhealthy. About 66% of
Americans are considered overweight or obese.
This weight gain usually occurs after marriage,
during a couples child bearing years when stress
from work, kids, the house, etc reach a peak.
Sometimes the problem becomes circular. In other
words, when people gain weight they feel
depressed. And what do people do when they feel
depressed? They eat! And they watch TV, and
sleep, and do many other things that contribute
to their weight problem.
Sometimes a person will take it personally when
their spouse gains weight. They interpret weight
gain as a sign that their spouse doesn't think
it's important to look attractive for them. And,
of course, the opposite can be true too. When one
spouse makes it a priority to get into shape, the
other spouse may feel good if they sense that one
of the motivations was to please them.
What about you? What about your
spouse? How's your weight? Are you too heavy? Or
do you need to bulk up a bit? What I'd like you
to do is talk to your spouse about whether or not
the two of you might tackle this together. You
could plan together, set goals together, food
shop together, and succeed together!
My wife and I recently decided to eliminate meat
during our weekday diet (we still eat some meat
on the weekends).
Whether it's losing weight or gaining weight,
please consider (and ask your spouse to consider)
 adjusting your diet. I don't
know if I would call it a
"save
marriage" strategy, but it might be good nonetheless.
A word of caution: don't go to your spouse and
accuse them of being fat. Don't pressure them to
go on a diet. First, take personal
responsibility. Make your commitment FIRST. Then,
INVITE your spouse to join you. And when you do,
express yourself emphasizing your interest in
this being a marital activity. And, emphasize
your concern for their HEALTH not their weight or
appearance. The truth is that weight and
appearance are only meaningful to the extent that
they reflect a person's health.
I hope this week's exercise leads to an improved
state of health for you, your spouse, and most
importantly, your save marriage
efforts.
Mort Fertel
Author & Founder of Marriage Fitness,
The Save
Marriage Expert
A revolutionary program for saving
your marriage.
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