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Everyone
has a reputation. We don't
get
to pick, but everyone is known for something.
It
seems that I'm known for stopping divorces and helping people repair
broken
marriages. And in particular, you could say that my specialty is
helping people
"win back" their spouse who claims to have fallen out of love.
If
that's your situation, you'll want to listen carefully. And even if
it's not,
you can learn a lot about how you can stop a divorce and reconcile your
marriage from what I'm about to share.
When
a person learns that their husband or wife doesn't love them anymore,
they go
crazy trying to find a fix for their problem. The same is true for
couples
trying to resolve differences before it's too late.
Many
people go online and search for THE answer, maybe typing “Stop Divorce”
or “save my marriage” into Google. (That's probably
how you found me.) But finding a solution to your marriage problems is
NOT like
finding a solution to your home financing problem. You can't just
click, buy,
and get instant gratification.
Today
people are into quick fixes. But you can't "microwave" a
relationship. Relationships work according to the law of the harvest.
You
know how a harvest works, don't you? In the spring time you have to
plant. Then
you have to water, fertilize, and irrigate all summer long. There's
something
else you have to do too...wait! You have to be patient. And then, after
you
complete every step of the process, you can harvest the crop.
We're
not used to revering a process. Most people look for short-cuts. Today
everything is about efficiency. Efficiency works with machines,
business, and
finances. But efficiency does NOT work with relationships.
Renewing
a marriage takes TIME. There are no short-cuts! You have to respect the
process
and be willing to take every step. (And you have to know what the steps
are.)
Can
you imagine goofing-off all spring and summer and then trying to
harvest a crop
in the fall? It's impossible!
Relationships,
like crops, are governed by the natural laws of the universe. If you
skip a
step, you'll short-circuit the process and slow yourself down. But if
you take
your time and go step-by-step...that' the fastest way.
A
while ago I had a series of private phone sessions with a man
desperately
trying to stop his divorce and "win back" his wife. He told me about
a stop divorce
e-book he downloaded
which recommended that he date other women in order to make his wife
jealous.
He said the author explained that this would stop the divorce and bring
his
wife back to him.
"Yeah,"
I said. "And then what?"
"What
do you mean?" he said.
"Your
wife left you because she wasn't happy with YOU," I explained. "If
YOU don't change, then she'll leave again. If your relationship doesn't
change,
then you will have accomplished nothing LONG-TERM."
Think
about it. What kind of man would date a woman to make his wife jealous?
The
woman he's dating is looking for emotional intimacy and probably to get
married. But he's using her. That's not nice! In fact, that's exactly
the kind
of man that a woman would leave and NEVER come back to.
Now
you might be thinking, "Yeah Mort, but how would his wife ever know
that
he was using this woman?"
Here's
the answer. Listen carefully.
His
wife would know because if he did it, then that's who he is. His wife
may not
know the details of what he's doing. But she knows him. And if he did
such a
thing, then that's him, and everyone knows it.
William
George Jordan said, "Into the hands of every individual is given a
marvelous power for good or evil...the silent, unconscious, unseen
influence of
his life. This is simply the constant radiation of what man really is,
not what
he pretends to be."
There
IS an energy that emanates from all of us. You can't fake it. It's a
function
of who you really are. And who you really are is determined by how you
live.
The
only way YOU can change your marriage is to change yourself. You've got
to
become the man or woman that anyone would want to be married to. You
have to
learn what a man/woman wants in a marriage AND how to implement
relationship
habits so that you can offer it CONSISTENTLY.
Are
you thinking, "It's not me that needs to change; it's my spouse."
It's
easy to confess your spouse's sins. And you're probably correct about
what
you're spouse needs to change. But it does no good to be right. And
it's a
complete waste of time and energy to focus on your spouse's problems.
There's
nothing you can do about it. The only relevant question is: What's YOUR
fixing?
You
had a role in the deterioration of your marriage. I have NEVER seen a
marital
situation that is caused by one spouse. There's always dual
responsibility.
What can YOU do to stop the divorce and improve the situation?
Reflect
on your past relationships. Do you see a pattern? Look at your parent's
marriage. Are you recreating the model you saw when you were a child?
Have you
explored the childhood roots of your relationship habits and how they
contributed to your marital circumstances?
Even
if your spouse had an affair, you're partly responsible. That doesn't
mean that
it's your fault and it doesn't excuse your spouse's inappropriate
behavior, but
the question still remains: What was your spouse seeking outside your
marriage
that was not available within it?
Business
people selling e-books (or other such product and services) might be
able to
take advantage of desperate men and woman searching for a fast solution
to
their problems. But these quick-fix techniques NEVER work. In fact,
they make
matters worse! Why? Because you only get one chance at a second chance.
Did you
hear that? You only get one chance at a second chance. Don't blow your
chance
to stop your divorce on a quick-fix technique. Begin now the REAL
process of
stopping your divorce and renewing your marriage and start to put into
place
the building blocks for a healthy LASTING marriage.
It
would be an honor to help you accomplish this. If you’d like
to start, just
enter your name and email below and I’ll send you my FREE
report “7 Secrets to
Stop a Divorce.”
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