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Your Marriage And The
Miracle Of The Chinese Bamboo Tree
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Do you know what happens after you
plant the seed of a Chinese Bamboo Tree? Nothing.
That's right. Absolutely nothing. For 4 years
after planting the seed of this tree you get no
satisfaction other than a tiny shoot coming out
of a bulb. Must be something wrong, right? A
still birth or stunted growth. A bad seed maybe.
If you didn't know about the growth patterns for
this tree, you'd think that all your efforts to
plant and cultivate were useless.
But, in fact, what's happening all the time is
that underneath the ground there's a massive root
structure that's forming. You can't see it, but
it's there and it's HUGE. Then, if the 5th year,
the Chinese Bamboo Tree grows and grows and
grows, sometimes up to EIGHTY FEET tall!
Marriages sometimes grow like Chinese Bamboo
Trees. You try and try doing kindnesses, giving
gifts, being gentle, sharing a joke, but
sometimes it takes months even years before you
SEE the growth. But all the while you're making
deposits into a secret account that all of a
sudden (that's the way it seems, but, in fact, my
point is that it's not all of sudden) begins
paying dividends.
It takes maturity to be patient. And it takes
maturity to be willing to give your spouse the
time they need to grow and to see that time as an
opportunity for you to grow too.
I've been having private sessions with a woman
who has been asking her husband to join her at
the dinner table for SIX MONTHS. And for 6 months
he's been rejecting her as he takes his dinner
into the family room to eat in front of the TV.
He was punishing her. He was angry.
For 6 months she took it. Everyday for 6 months
she asked him to come to dinner and everyday he
said "No."
One day, unannounced, and for no apparent reason,
he said to her while she was fixing dinner in the
kitchen, "Can I join you at the table tonight?"
"Yes," she said, and turned away to wipe her
tears.
Did she deserve 6 months of the silent treatment?
No one does no matter what the reason. But don't
let anyone tell you to give up. It's NEVER too
late. Things change. People change.
The question is:
1) How do I learn to be patient?
2) What EXACTLY can I do in my marriage that will
build that root structure and lead to a
BREAKTHROUGH with my spouse?
I'll be answering those 2
questions in depth as well as offering literally
hundreds of other practices and principles in the
next Marriage Fitness Tele Boot Camp.
If you're serious about saving
and restoring your marriage, there's no reason
NOT to do this program. It's gtd (see web site
for details), convenient (you don't have to go
anywhere - all you need is a telephone), and it's
proven to work. And if your spouse won't do it
with you, don't worry about it, there's a LONE
RANGER TRACK designed specifically for you
that'll teach you how to single handedly change
your situation AND motivate your spouse to join
you in the marriage renewal process. For details
or to register, go to
http://www.MortFertel.com/tele-boot-camp.asp
If you can't wait until the next boot camp begins
or if you don't have 7 weeks to turn things
around, then order...
MARRIAGE FITNESS HOME-FLEX
A 9-Phase interactive multi-sensory
relationship-changing self-guided system that
gives you everything you need to transform your
marriage. And the best news is . . . you get it
all tomorrow! For more information or to order,
go to:
http://www.MortFertel.com/home-flex.asp
Depending on your circumstances, you may also
benefit from private sessions. I do phone
sessions and full-day intensive "house calls."
For more information, go to:
http://www.MortFertel.com/marriage-coaching.asp
If you need help with your marriage, at the very
least get yourself the MARRIAGE FITNESS AUDIO
LEARNING PROGRAM. It's a 5 CD audio listening
program that you'll find to be an invaluable
guide to renewing your marriage...and more fun than visiting a marriage counselor. If you don't
have it, then you can't be serious about fixing
your situation. For more info or to order, go to:
http://www.MortFertel.com/audio-program.asp
Lastly, if you prefer to use someone else, feel
free to ask me and I'd be happy to refer you to
other competent resources.
Don't you dare give up. Be
patient. Be a light; not a judge. And in the
meantime, remember the miracle of the Chinese
Bamboo Tree.
Warm regards,
Mort Fertel, Author & Founder of
Marriage Fitness
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